How to Survive as the Family Tech Support Guy (or Gal)
One of the most insidious pressures on tech-savvy people these days is the seemingly constant pressure to provide quick, top-quality computer and web support — to our families. If you happen to do web design, system administration, programming, or other vaguely computer-related work as part of your job, the pressure is magnified all the more.
It’s work we do out of love, and usually because we want our family members to succeed at whatever they’re trying to do. Most of the time, we feel more than a little obligated, since it was probably us that got mom to buy a PC, dad to upgrade to DSL, or brother to launch a website for his part-time weekend job in the first place.
But it’s a responsibility that can quickly grow to wreak havoc on our schedules. You soon find yourself barraged with calls, making house calls, and squeezing in last-minute requests. It’s like the freelancer’s worst nightmare client, except a) you’re not being paid, b) you can’t ask them to take their business elsewhere, and c) you’re expected to offer a lifetime guarantee.
Here are a few tips to help keep on top of demands for help from family members. Much of this is modeled after the way a freelancer handles his or her business relations, figuring that what works for a freelancer, who has to work hard to assure their client comes back with future jobs, ought to work well for us in dealing with our families, who (alas?) will keep on giving us work regardless of performance or attitude.
- Beware the Curse of Knowledge! The single most important thing to keep in mind when offering your services to your family is that you are a different kind of person than they are. Most people that understand computers well enough to be the “go to” person for their family’s computer woes are actually interested in how computers work and curious about what else it can do. Not so The Others; they’re in search of simple answers that don’t have to explain anything other than how to do task x. This can get frustrating — you say “click on the file menu” and they say “huh?” Don’t assume familiarity with even the most basic tasks (except the whole thing about not talking into the mouse). Don’t talk down to them, but keep it simple and clear. Try reminding yourself that this person gave birth to you/taught you to ride a bike/never told mom about the time you were smoking behind the gym/brought you into this world and can take you out/loves you despite your faults.
- Get a brief. What exactly does your family member want you to do? Just like a designer wouldn’t start a project without knowing what her client’s needs were, you shouldn’t undertake a project for family without them taking the time to detail what they want. Otherwise you may find you’ve spent a lot of time on something that will never get used.
- Schedule. Make the best estimate of how long the task will take and schedule it in just like a professional gig. It’s tempting to take on jobs for family members as either a) immediate-priority, drop everything tasks, or b) spare-time tasks. The first will cause stress and the neglect of other projects, the second will cause resentment in family members who feel you’re blowing off something that is really important to them. So let them know when you’ll be able to work on it, explaining that you’d like to give them the attention they deserve without distractions.
- Learn to say “no”. It’s hard enough saying “no” to a boss or client, I know. But you have to be realistic, too — sometimes family work would be better served by someone else in your family (and boy will they appreciate the referral!) or by a professional. And sometimes you simply cannot find the time to do a good job.
- Invoice. This doesn’t apply to all cases — when mom needs help setting up her new email account, for example — but some tasks are big and should really be done by a professional. If you happen to be such a professional, let your family member know that you can offer them a nice “family discount” but the job is too big to take on for free. Obviously you’ll want to use your judgment here, but don’t let yourself be taken advantage of — if taking on a task for a family member means you’ll have to give up paid work, you deserve to be compensated.
- Know your limits. Don’t take on jobs that are too far beyond your own abilities. There’s a world of difference between figuring out how to install a new CPU on your own PC and doing the same on mom’s computer, screwing up, and depriving her of her online Boggle matches and email from her grandkids. Keep the experimentation at home and know when to turn your family member over to a pro.
- Upsell. If you’re doing a logo for your sister-in-law’s in-home lingerie sales business, why not offer to throw in letterhead for half your usual price? OK, I’m just kidding — I suppose it is possible to take the whole “client relations” thing too far when dealing with family.
Working for family can feel like extortion sometimes — it’s not entirely fair that everyone leans on you for help, and you have very little choice in the matter. Remember that, despite the frustrations, requests for help from family are a sign of pride in your accomplishments and a recognition of your value.
Bonus Tip: install LogMeIn Free on all your family member’s computers and link them to your account. Then you’ll be able to log in to their computers from home and work on it just like you would if you were in front of the computer itself. This is obviously no good for problems when the computer won’t boot or there’s a hardware problem, but for little things like setting up email, updating a program, or troubleshooting a network connection, it’s just the thing. And it’s free.
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Comments
Wolfger says on October 1st, 2007 at 11:45 am
One great way to get friends/family to leave you alone is to use “we need to replace Windows with Linux” as your solution to whatever problem they have. They’re all scared to death of the unfamiliar, and won’t want to follow that advice. So if they don’t want to install Linux, I simply can’t help them. :-)
…and if they do want to install Linux, I’ll be plagued with a lot fewer “Help, I’ve got a virus!” calls.
ThirstyEar2 says on October 1st, 2007 at 12:07 pm
This is a great post! I wholeheartedly agree with the use of LogMeIn free. It’s saved me, my friends and family on numerous occasions. Although, I found it has a tendency to make the person dependent on your services as they won’t want to figure anything out themselves, but have you do it for them.
Chris says on October 2nd, 2007 at 12:55 am
I loved the article! Nice work making into the top Digg section by the way. This article is great and I plan to link to it in a future blog. You are write in every aspect. The other possibility that may be easier than LogMeIn is the VNC line. I use that with my family and it is the major resource at my university where I work IT. Works wonderfully. I can wholeheartedly agree with you in this post!
Geoff Hill says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:00 am
Give each household computer a DDNS and VNC. Huge timesaver. If you really are the Tech-Savvy one in the family, you’ll know what both of those are.
Nick says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:08 am
@ Wolfger, yeah, and a lot more “Hay how do i open internet explorer ??? also where’s notepad ??? also what’s a command prompt!!!”
Honestly, I’ve learned the _hard_ way, that installing Linux on a commoner’s computer is not the greatest idea.
anon says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:10 am
Troubleshooting a network connection error via LogMeIn? Sounds, um, difficult.
Other than that, great tips.
Dana says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:18 am
LOL. I have been the family tech guy for god knows how long, and it sucks so much.
Kevin says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:43 am
I would say 99% of the problems I see on my family’s computers comes from malware. I would definitely keep a flash drive handy with anti-malware programs…and it doubles as a way to backup files before reinstalling windoze :)
MacNewb says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:57 am
It’s called getting your entire family to switch to Mac! ;)
alec says on October 2nd, 2007 at 2:00 am
as a technician, I find this article sort of “obvious,” because this article is for tech savvy people who have probably been the “family tech” before or are continuing as him. Most of those people already know all of this. These are the exact same points made as in any other job that needs scheduling, hell I learned these concepts working for Best Buy -_-.
Just seems like you wrote this to promote yourself buddy.
Don’t want to seem like a douche, but I am just sick of Top 10 websites and obvious crap that keeps repeating itself
alex says on October 2nd, 2007 at 2:23 am
alec, you’re a smart alec.
Kris says on October 2nd, 2007 at 4:06 am
I loved the article and felt that everything you said was right on. Personally, I think VNC and any type of remote desktop use is just even more technical for them and troublesome for both sides, so I would rather always be on-site with the problems. Aren’t all blogs some type of self-promotion? Check mine out - kzap.wordpress.com I’m just starting out and want some pointers from anybody and everybody.
Dan Jolt says on October 2nd, 2007 at 4:29 am
One more comment.
Rather than using the feature limited LogMeIn Free, I recomment using Teamviewer (www.teamviewer.com) instead.
It’s free for non-commercial use and has all those pro-features that make remote service easy to use. PC to PC connections work great, even if you are behind a restrictive company firewall and the PC you want to support is hidden behind a DSL router.
psi says on October 2nd, 2007 at 6:30 am
Oh noes! Can’t take the pressure! Most socially challenged article ever…
Sagewah says on October 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 am
I’ve found its very important to make clear from the outset that if they aren’t paying, they get the job done on your terms. That means if you give advice, they take it or you won’t support the mess. They must be prepared to wait because your paying customers necessarily get preference. And wherever possible, they can drop it off and pick it up!
Its also a good idea to ALWAYS have basic tools and antimalware gear, as well as OS cds with you when visiting family. You know they’re going to ask you to fix something, and you know their net connection will be inadequate. Plan ahead so you don’t have to take the job with you, or take time out to go back and fix it later.
dd says on October 2nd, 2007 at 8:40 am
Instead of Logmein why not http://www.crossloop.com?
Patrick says on October 2nd, 2007 at 8:44 am
I think this is one reason I never bought a pickup truck. Pickup truck owners get asked to help people move, deliver mulch, etc. Seriously however I have learned more and more that to be successful in a line of work you really need to focus in on a niche. My primary work involves web development but I get asked to fix computers all the time or my company has. We only have so many hours of the day and if you spend time saying yes or even exploring other technology rabbit holes you will never be the expert you could be. No one ever asks a heart surgeon to pull a tooth. I’ve started making a point to tell others that is not my niche or at the least I will tell them I will look at it but If “fixing” it is going to take more than 15 minutes then I tell them it’s beyond my experience I will recommend someone I know or a reputable company.
It seems to problems I am asked to fix fall in to two extremes (extremely easy like a loose cable or very hard like a programming error with a language I am not familiar with)
Thom A. says on October 2nd, 2007 at 9:10 am
Heh. I talked my wife into getting a Mac. I don’t know very much at all about supporting Macs. Problem solved.
Dustin Wax says on October 2nd, 2007 at 9:32 am
@Dan and dd: thanks for the crossloop and teamviewer recommendations — I hdn’t heard of these but will definitely look them up.
@alec: I think yours is a comment for digg — I just write ‘em, I’m not responsible for what gets dugg! But notice the problem I’m shooting at here isn’t “how do I fix my family’s computers” but “how do I manage my time as the guy/gal who fixes my family’s computers” which is not, I think, so obvious, or there wouldn’t be so many high-traffic sites devoted to time management!
@all: I think VNC and DynDNS are great if you can get it going, but seems like adding another layer of complexity to our grandma’s Win98 machine is just asking for trouble :-) I like LogMeIn because it’s simple and easy to get going and just sits in the program tray and runs. And, as someone noted, obviously this is for the “where’s my Internet Explorer button?!” type questions, not for anything that prevents the PC from connecting.
dave says on October 2nd, 2007 at 10:05 am
While I can sympathize, I’m unable to put most of this advice into practice. Having married into a portuguese family, I’ve found that things just don’t work this way. These people (yes, I’m generalizing) are the hardest-working, most giving people I’ve ever known.
When my wife and I bought a house, I literally never had to ask for help, whether it be for yard work or to finish the basement. Initially, they offered their help freely, but I never called, fearing they’d think I was taking advantage. So they simply started turning up on the weekends. I’ve woken up on Saturday mornings to find my father-in-law and/or an uncle or two in my yard, sniffing around for work, ready to go.
In summary, when they call with computer issues, I not only fix it, but I do it with a smile and a great big thanks.
Raykell says on October 2nd, 2007 at 10:37 am
MacNewb …. You said it ALL in a mouthfull… give em a Mac.. and your troubles will All just Dissapear :D hehe… STILL install VNC though ;)…
Eric says on October 2nd, 2007 at 10:49 am
Being the faimly tech guy myself, I’ve come to find this as the only solution…
http://www.taurususa.com/image...../145BP.jpg
Knuckles10 says on October 2nd, 2007 at 11:46 am
Rule #1. Never do computer work for the family:
http://www.technibble.com/doin.....he-family/
JB says on October 2nd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Dude,
I hate when people write negative comments in articles, but I have to tell you… I really disagree about yours;
I’ve work on IT for about 9 years and the true about family business is DO NOT MAKE BUSINESS WITH FAMILY… It’s a natural law
Dustin Wax says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:23 pm
To the mac fans, bless their souls, you’re probably right about some stuff — Macs are great for protecting parents from viruses and other security risks. If mom doesn’t “get” email, though, I’m not sure the Mac has much advantage.
But that aside, whether my family used Macs or PCs or BeOS boxen with blinkenlights wouldn’t make a whit of difference for the kidns of tasks I’ve been asked to do recently, like a) setting up my dad’s PC and cable and wireless network after a move, or b) resizing my brother’s company’s logo from business card size to a size big enough to put on the back of the jerseys for the soccer team he sponsors.
Zen Render says on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:42 pm
As someone who helped out many times with family gear, and finally ended up cutting all ties with an aunt over a machine they got for free, I gotta suggest this:
When you get something for them for cheap, or free, including your own time/support, make sure you let them know that, on paper.
Also, watch out for “last touchies.” I can’t recall how many times I’ve replaced something (again, for free) and received calls that are unrelated that start with “Ever since you installed the …”
All in all, it’s just not worth it.
Unless, of course, you get them to do something for YOU for free. Not later in that “I owe ya one, man” kinda way, but NOW. Paint my house while I rebuild your retarded WinME box for the 9th time in six years ’cause you can’t keep yourself from hitting the “Yep Sure” button for spyware installations.
But I’m not bitter. :)
madetosink says on October 2nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
How in the hell could you charge your family to do something for them? “Hey, Billy! Would you please take out the trash?”
“Sure, Mom! Five bucks please!”
Dustin Wax says on October 2nd, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Easily. For instance, my brother wants me to build and maintain his office’s intranet/server system. How many monthly hours of maintenance would you offer without pay?
Anon E. Mouse says on October 2nd, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I made conscious decision about 10 years ago to learn Linux and work exclusively as a Linux administrator. A side benefit of this career path I found recently, is that I understand Microsoft products only slightly better than my relatives. Thus, I can claim ignorance with a clear conscience :). Of course, this lack of knowledge may be an issue in a recession…
-Mr. Mouse
Gish Domains says on October 2nd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
I would also definately suggest a t-shirt, bumper sticker or from ThinkGeek.
One that says ‘No, I will not fix your computer’.
The next family job that I take, i am asking for one of them in lieu of payment!
Who dares me? :)
qrius says on February 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 am
this is the very reason why I started a tech blog for the common folk:
http://techtips4joe.blogspot.com
hope you guys like it. It’s targetted at people like my very own parents!
Frank Mendel says on April 3rd, 2008 at 11:16 am
I think we all know the question: “Computers are your hobby, aren´t they?”