I like the concept of letting go. It’s mostly where I find joy, calm, peace and purpose. It’s so much easier than chasing. And so much more effective. Rather than chasing happiness, the Buddhist philosophy suggests that we simply choose to let go of that which makes us unhappy. The very notion of chasing something has a sense of urgency about it, doesn’t it? And, of course, with urgency comes anxiety. And with anxiety comes illness. And with illness comes unhappiness.
Maybe our gentle robe-wearing friends are on to something. Some people spend their lives chasing acceptance and approval. Perhaps it’s time for some of us to let go of the need to seek the acceptance, approval and even permission of others? Perhaps we’re good enough all by ourselves? Perhaps we should stop giving away our power? Perhaps in the letting go we’ll find the only acceptance we need: self-acceptance. Some will spend their lives chasing physical perfection. I have some expertise in this area. While it’s great to be in shape, it’s not great when our confidence, self-esteem and sense of self are dependant on our physical appearance.
Considering that we spend most of our lives in a slowly deteriorating physical shell, this pursuit is an exercise in frustration. This desire for physical perfection arises out of fear. Fear of not being pretty enough. Good enough. Desirable enough. And, of course, fear is at the root of unhappiness. Some will spend their lives chasing financial wealth, only to wake up one day and discover that all they’ve created is emotional and spiritual poverty. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being wealthy, except when that wealth defines us. If only we taught our kids (and ourselves) that being rich has nothing to do with money or material possessions. Some of us have spent years (and years) trying to ‘find’ ourselves.
Maybe it’s time to stop looking and simply let go of everything that isn’t us? When I let go of everything I am trying to do, be, create and own, there I am. And while I might do, be, create and own much in my life, I am none of those things and they are not me. I can’t be found in things. And neither can you.
What do you need to let go of?
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Excellent article…
And a very undervalued topic. Letting go helps find who we really are. Helps us discovery whether our goals are truly ours.
A lot of people chase dreams which aren’t even theirs. It’s their parents goals or society’s definition of success. Letting go of all the wanting approval is very freeing.
Cheers,
Rishi Pathani
Please enlighten me, what’s the difference between that and “just give up”?
(Of course, letting go of things like seeking for other’s approval I can understand. But financial stability?)
There’s a saying that you have to forgive, not necessarily forget but you have to forgive. That’s what forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt that someone else has put on you.
When you hold onto pass hurts where someone has wronged you, you allow that person to take power over you. But when you forgive them you take that power back and develop peace on the inside. We must let go!
Great article!
nice article it’s inspiring. hope you could touch life more. thanks for saring your thoughts and hope to learn a lot here…
thanks,
SleepBarn
Great article and very inspiring. For me, it got me thinking about the people in my life. My so-called “friends” who’d hurt me in the past (maybe intentional or unintentional). I’ve come across this article Link text on how to deal with people like that . But I like your idea too that it’s just as simple as letting go.
@I’m Confused. I don’t think the article meant giving up. I think it meant letting of the hurts and awful feelings. It could also mean stuff like: when you’re with a person for so long and one day you wake up and reaize your relationship is dead. Do not linger just let it go. It would be better for the both of you in the long run.
Look at it this way…if you hold on to something with your hands full–carrying all the unneccessary things in your life, you wouldn’t have a free hand to grab the things that could improve your life. So let those useless things go, so you can move on to bigger and better things. I hope that all made sense.
[...] 26, 2010 Craig Harper published an excellent post recently on Stepcase Lifehack, it’s about letting go of things which make us unhappy but we somehow feel we have to go on with them. I agree with him that we [...]
@ Megan: I think what you’re saying makes sense. I like your analogy of trying to hold on to too many unnecessary things in your life. I certainly do have people like that in my life too. I actually clicked on your article link and about to read that. For me, the hardest challenge is knowing when to forgive and when to let it go. Sometimes not everything is black and white and especially when two parties are both at fault, it’s hard to tell. I’m looking forward to reading that article! Thanks. :)
[...] Let go of the past. Is there any grievance or unhappiness from the past which you have been holding on? If so, it’s time to let it go. Holding on to them prevents you from moving on and becoming a better person. Break away from the past, forgive yourself, and move on. Just recently, I finally moved on from a past heartbreak of 5 years ago. The effect was liberating and very empowering, and I have never been happier. [...]
[...] Let go of the past. Is there any grievance or unhappiness from the past which you have been holding on? If so, it’s time to let it go. Holding on to them prevents you from moving on and becoming a better person. Break away from the past, forgive yourself, and move on. Just recently, I finally moved on from a past heartbreak of 5 years ago. The effect was liberating and very empowering, and I have never been happier. [...]
I couldn’t agree more! The pursuit of happiness outside of ourselves means that we’re never happy because there is always something else to aim for. I also feel strongly that comparing ourselves to others is the fast-track to unhappiness. It’s a hard habit to break but such a life changing one when you draw your attention to it and make attempts to stop it!
[...] By Craig Harper [...]
Seriously?? how does fluff like this still get published?
thank you, i really needed to read this.
[...] What Do You Need To Let Go Of? (by Craig Harper, 132) [...]
Inspiring. I need to forgive myself for putting myself through the pain that I could have walked away from when I first saw it around me.
Stoicism is a great philosophy and will help people who always find themselves stuck chasing.