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This List Proves Why You Shouldn't Drink Coke, But Use It Instead

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Coke isn’t the best thing to ingest on a daily basis. It’s usually the first thing I recommend cutting out of your diet (along with other sodas) if you’re trying to lose weight (all that sugar adds up), and as such I haven’t imbibed it regularly for at least six years now. That doesn’t mean it’s useless! Below you’ll find a list containing Coke’s harmful effects, as well as a collection of all of the ways you can use it to better your life!

How Coke Harms You

1. Cavities galore!

The sugar and acid in Coke breaks down the enamel on your teeth, and over time that can lead to lots of expensive dental work. You can sort of alleviate this by brushing your teeth a lot, but it’s better to just hedge your bets and drink water instead.

2. It increases your chance of getting diabetes.

The food you eat is already so full of sugars (read: carbohydrates) that pouring some Coca-Cola on top of that is just overkill. Indeed, within just twenty minutes of ingesting the stuff, your blood sugar will spike and your body will have to work extra hard to deal with it.

3. Say goodbye to your metabolism.

I used to see commercials of athletes drinking soda after a workout all of the time, which in hindsight disgusts me. Sorry, but all that does is shutdown your metabolism before it has a chance to burn the fat off your body. Put down the Coke and grab some water instead!

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4. Your kidneys won’t like you anymore.

If you think you can get out of this by drinking Diet Coke instead, well, I have some bad news. Turns out the artificial sweeteners in that do more damage to your kidneys than you’d probably like.

5. The long term effects of aspartame are ominous at best.

Much remains unknown about the long term effects of artificial sweeteners like aspartame, though several studies seem to indicate that it can cause a number of diseases. So, no matter which Coke you choose, you’re doing something detrimental to your body.

6. It might mess with your reproductive capabilities.

Continued and frequent consumption of Coca-Cola might lead to defects in your reproductive system, mostly due to all of the chemicals contained within the fizzy drink. In moderation this probably won’t be an issue, but heavy Coke drinkers might want to make a note of this.

What You Can Do With Coke Instead

So, if you shouldn’t drink it, what’s it good for? Read on…

1. Dissolve the grime off of old pennies.

2. Clean the grout lining your tiles, bathtub, etc.

3. Place one of your kid’s baby teeth in a cup of coke and see how long it takes to dissolve.

4. Get those nasty layers of burnt food off your frying pan.

5. Kill insects (it’s all in the acid).

6. Get rid of oil stains on your driveway; just pour some Coke on it, wait, and spray it away with a hose.

7. Remove marker stains from your carpet. Just dab some Coke on it and use a damp and soapy rag on the afflicted area.

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8. Clean out your car’s engine.

9. Get stains out of your toilet bowl.

10. Add it to your fertilizer to grow healthier plants.

11. Cook your food in it; Coke + some other seasonings = a decent steak, apparently.

12. Craft a custom barbeque sauce; just mix Coke and ketchup for some sweet ribs or chicken.

13. Mix it with your lotion for silky skin (I need to test this one).

14. Remove paint from a metal surface; simply soak a rag in Coke and let it sit on the painted surface for a while.

15. Make your laundry smell better; just pour it over your unfortunately scented clothes before starting a wash cycle.

16. Use it as a wasp repellent; put some in a container and place it a decent distance away from wherever your picnic/outdoor event is.

17. Unnaturally age your documents; apply to paper, pat dry, and wait.

18. Pour it on a jellyfish sting to reduce the amount of excruciating pain you’re in. I bet Spongebob wishes he knew about this one.

19. Remove the rust from a nail or screw that just won’t budge.

20. Use it as a de-greaser.

Huh…after all that, I’m suddenly even less inclined to drink soda than I was before. Looks like they should be selling Coke next to Windex at your local Home Depot! Do you have any secret uses for Coke that are unrelated to drinking it? Share below!

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Featured photo credit: Coke Can/ Allen via flickr.com

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