10 HARD Ways to Make Your Life Better
Some of the most worthwhile things in life aren’t easy. One of the things I dislike most about “power of positive thinking”-style personal development philosophies (such as “The Secret”) is the implication that if you just have the right attitude and the right state of mind, the rest will just fall into place. I think it causes a lot of hurt and disappointment in people who invest their time, effort, and of course, money into these systems and find themselves, one or two or five years down the line, exactly where they were before.
“You must not have wanted it badly enough,” the authors of these philosophies seem to be saying. “There must still be something wrong with you.”
I don’t think that, ultimately, God or the Spirits or the Universe or the world “provides”. I think a lot of times the world puts obstacles in our way, and no amount of positive thinking makes them go away. And I think that a lot of the people who are “successful”, by whatever standard you want to use, have as much “wrong” with them as a lot of the ones who aren’t successful. Maybe more.
In any case, wherever the motivation comes from, the things that really make our lives worth living can be quite difficult. (And who knows, maybe thinking positively helps take some of the edge off of doing the hard stuff?) What’s more, they can take a lot of time to do, and even more time to get right. But I think that doing is the important thing, not the result — throwing yourself into something with all your heart, mind, and soul is the success, not the “growing rich” part.
Here, then, are ten things that are really hard to do but which have an incredible power to make your life better.
1. Start a business
My dad, who has been self-employed almost all his life, used to tell me that “Only jerks work for jerks.” Working for someone else puts you at their mercy and subjects you to their whims — and often their poor management skills. Not only that, but the profit of your labor goes into their pockets.
Starting a business puts you in control of your work life, and your money. It’s hard — small businesses fail every day. But the rewards of even a failed venture can far outweigh the risk. Just knowing that your failure was the result of your own choices — instead of a decision made at a corporate office a thousand miles away — can be liberating.
2. Organize a group
What makes you passionate? Chances are, being around other people who are passionate about the same thing would make you even more passionate about it. Often the only thing keeping you and them from coming together is that nobody’s put out a sign saying “Come and talk!” Getting a group going is a tremendous challenge, and very often the personality of the founder leaves a tremendous mark on the group as a whole. Seeing a group grow and take off can be tremendously awarding — but even failing can teach you important things about leadership.
3. Volunteer
I don’t mean spend Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen, though that can often be challenging enough. What I mean, though, is to make a long-term investment in your community by joining school committees, donating three hours a week in a shelter, hosting a monthly read-along at the library, tutoring at-risk children after school, teaching adult literacy classes at a local prison, or any of a million ways to play a role in the lives of people who need you. Perhaps the most pressing need in our society is for people to take an interest in and engage with their communities.
4. Take an active role in your children’s’ activities
Pick one thing your child does and commit yourself to it. Coach their team, become a Brownie leader, spend a weekend day in the workshop with them, buy a bike and ride along with them — make their passions your own. Don’t crowd them — especially if you have teenagers — but show them that you value something they do by giving them your time and interest.
5. Start a family
I don’t mean have kids. That can be all too easy! Make the decision to have a family, which means to give of yourself fully to another person or several people. Risk being vulnerable by sharing your fears, quirks, and failures with someone else; you might find it makes you stronger than ever before.
This transcends marriage and parenthood. There are lots of people who can’t marry because the law prevents it. There are people who can’t have children. These are not the essential ingredients of family. The essential ingredients are love, mutual respect, trust, and open giving. Find (or make) someone you can share that with.
6. Write a book
It feels really, really good to see your name on a book cover, but it feels even better to know that someone, somewhere, might find his or her life changed by something you’ve written. Share your particular expertise, whether it’s story-telling or woodworking, with the world — or just your family. Time isn’t the big issue (though it is an issue — don’t let the positive thinkists tell you otherwise!) but if you commit yourself to a page a day — a couple hundred words — within a year you’ll have a pretty decent-sized manuscript. That’s something to work with!
7. Learn an art
Take painting lessons, a pottery workshop, a music class, whatever — learn to express yourself and you might find a self worth expressing. Don’t settle for being a “Sunday painter” — devote yourself to an art and master it.
8. Run for office
The world needs smart, dedicated, and upright people to take care of all the fiddly details of making things run. As it happens, running for local office isn’t as challenging as you’d think (which isn’t to say it’s easy) — Michael Moore, the filmmaker, ran for school board while he was still in high school. Just for kicks. And won! It’s fine to have your heart set on the White House or Capital Hill, but try your hand at city councilperson, county registrar, or something closer to home first. And be clean — run for the experience of putting your community on a better path, and not for the power.
9. Take up a sport
Enough with the working out already! Sure, you want to be healthy, but the whole treadmill-running, iPod-listening, 45-minutes-after-work thing is a little anti-social, don’t you think? OK, you want some solitude once in a while — fine. But at least add a sport, something you do with other people. You’ll be spending time interacting with others, while also developing team-building and leadership skills. And, you might learn something from your fellow players.
10. Set an outrageous goal — and achieve it!
The nine tips above are only a handful of ideas about how to make your life better. Maybe you want to record an album, climb a mountain, make the Hajj (the pilgrimage to Mecca), see 20 countries — don’t just settle for tiny goals, push yourself all the way to the edge and figure out how to make the craziest thing you can think of happen. Yes, you’ll have to learn a lot along the way, and plan months or even years in advance — that’s what makes outlandish goals worthwhile.
I don’t want to suggest that you need to do all these things to be happy — doing just one is quite a handful! But if you’re unhappy with your life, if you want to make a change for the better, you need to think big and you need to be ready to put in the work to make it happen. It’s easy to “visualize success” and to “think positively”; it’s not so easy to throw yourself into the unknown and make it work. But if you can make it work, you’ll gain far more than you can imagine.
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Dustin Wax
Dustin M. Wax is a freelance writer and project manager at Stepcase Lifehack. He is also the creator of The Writer's Technology Companion, a site devoted to the tools of the writing trade. When he's not writing, he teaches anthropology and gender studies in Las Vegas, NV. He is the author of Don't Be Stupid: A Guide to Learning, Studying, and Succeeding at College.
Follow him on Twitter: @dwax.
Tags: 
Get your own Avatars at 
Loading ...
Comments
etavitom says on March 14th, 2008 at 11:06 am
awesome motivation! thanks
LoveandSalt says on March 14th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
This list is going up on my wall. I aim to do all of these. Some I already do–all of them make sense. (”Run for office” REALLY gives me pause, but it seems like a necessary contribution, as well as a way of challenging myself.
Thanks for this…and for the spirit that moves it.
blerg says on March 14th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
This is a FABULOUS list. Most articles on Lifehack are great, but this one has me *really* excited about what to tackle next.
Gregg says on March 14th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I read this blog nearly every day and always find inspiration in it.
This is an excellent post, as I’ve realized that MOST of the most satisfying activities I have done are very hard.
I’ve learned and “mastered” (well, become pretty competent) at a couple of instruments, we actively work in several community theaters that have become very successful, and have the whole family thing going.
The only “easy” thing that has been as rewarding is to “stop comparing to others.” Someone always has more, better, faster, etc.
Nehal says on March 14th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
#10 – A couple years ago, I set a goal of finishing a half ironman (1.2mi swim, 56 mi cycle, 13.1 mi run). I bought a road bike and over the next six months of riding, running, and learning to swim (yes, *learning* to swim [properly]), I saw vast improvements in many areas of my life. I felt better, more focused, and got into great shape. The best thing to come out of it was the realization that I _could _ do anything I set my mind to.
Amy says on March 14th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Great article! A bit disappointing that you started it out by -not agreeing- with something you clearly don’t understand. I think this would be a huge turnoff to people who do subscribe to such mentalities because you then went on to journal the exact point of these -self/help philosophies-. The marketing related to the secret irritates me, mainly because it’s been a life philosophy of mine for years and now it’s neatly packaged into some BS marketing campaign that people get snippets of and misunderstand. It’s not about GOD rewarding the positive thinkers with what they want; it’s about retraining your brain to achieve what you want.
I can extrapolate it into dieting theory (which many people do understand) — In the following scenario — who do you think would be more successful?
a. The person who knows they need to lose weight, has struggled with this for years, and every time they eat a salad or go to the gym, they think – “why should I bother, I’ll never get fit…”
b. The person who embraces what you outlined above and decides that because they need to get more physically fit they will set a goal for themselves to run a half marathon. And every day when they eat that salad or run that mile, they think — “I’m a marathon runner; I’m a marathon runner….?”
I’m not a betting kind of gal but I would wager the -marathon runner- will probably succeed in completing the half marathon if they sustain THAT MINDSET. Notice I didn’t say, if they keep eating salads. The mindset will get them to the finish line. (It won’t flutter down from God in a silver lined envelope if you sit on your couch and eat oreos)
So anyhoo, the point was not to be on the soapbox, it was rather that you have such a great message, don’t take the risk of limiting it by deprecating needlessly!
Dustin Wax says on March 14th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Amy: Fair enough. I admit that I’m responding more to the marketing of much of the “self-help”/personal development stuff, rather than the content. Much of the little I have actually been tempted to look into deeper makes much the same claims, though — I picked up an issue of the new magazine “Personal Development” last week, and was horrified by the pap they were feeding readers.
One small quibble, though: In your dieting scenario, neither is likely to work. 95% of dieters are unable to keep 5% of their body weight off for a period of 3 years. I don’t think it’s because virtually everyone has a motivation or positive thinking problem, I think it’s because dieting isn’t a very good strategy for being healthy. The body knows this, so as soon as you stop abusing it by artificially reducing calories, the body strives to regain its original shape — perhaps secretly hoping you’ll take up a sport, eat healthier (not less), and stop stressing over your weight so much.
Charlie Gilkey says on March 14th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Awesome post, Dustin. There’s a trend here: learn and master something new and contribute to those around you.
I’m with LoveandSalt–the run for office really made me pause. I’ll put that on my list to do in about seven years when I close some other meta-projects down.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Marelisa says on March 14th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I agree that everyone should set as a life goal to have their own business. I fired my boss about 4 years ago and it felt great. Volunteering, taking up a sport, writing a book, and doing something artistic are also things I think everyone should be doing.
Although I think that the post is very good, I agree with the comment that the introduction wasn’t necessary. That being said, “The Secret” is basically cafeteria spiritualism. But the good thing about “The Secret” is that it got a lot of people thinking along the lines that they have the ability to create their own lives. To a lot of people this is an eye-opening realization.
kris says on March 15th, 2008 at 12:47 am
The other thing that bothers me about the secret is that system’s focus on material “abundance”. Rich and successful people are that way because they take risks and work very, very hard.
Joe says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Just started #1 myself. It hasn’t been easy, but I could not work in a cube any longer. Big business basically kills the soul all for the mighty dollar. Ah the horror stories.
Combined my love of poker with some IT skills and started FeltTable.com a place to upload/share/store your hand histories from poker sites (currently only pokerstars).
Nothing too exciting, but it’s pretty scary on my end. :/
Quzie (Susan Jones) says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Dear Dustin. This article is particularly good. As a serious Christian..truth exists despite any theological ideas we might erroneously cling to. Sometimes we are so blinded that it is difficult to be objective. Our modern strivings to cure ouselves permanantly of any thing barring us from perfecton(aging-body image-self worth tied to money or success) borders on Puritan ideas that we deserve all kinds of bad things in our lives. I try to excell with the reservation that..life is real. Help yourself and respond to others where they are.
EdSchache says on March 15th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Trick to #10 is to tell someone who won’t let you back out.
I decided to cycle around New Zealand after finishing my degree (flew out the day after my final exam). Hardest and most challenging thing I have ever done. Most rewarding also.
Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying.
No matter what you do remember this: “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing” – Michael Pritchard
irspariah says on March 15th, 2008 at 3:09 am
What a lame, naive bunch of rubbish!
Adrian says on March 15th, 2008 at 3:46 am
this is cool
Alex B.Wurth says on March 15th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Great article Dustin, I’m curious about a heirarchical ranking you might put these items in. Some are obviously easier than others, so people may choose to volunteer or take up a sport before running for office or starting a business perhaps. It may depend on where they are at in life too… what are your thoughts on this? Does it make sense for people to ease into this or jump in both feet?
Leon Flamick says on March 15th, 2008 at 6:52 am
In order to follow any one of these tips would require an almost impossible transition of your surroundings & yourself. EG: “Start a business;
The guy who said “only jerks work for jerks” is a jerk himself! If everyone was his own manufacturer, his own painting company, his own corporate office, you wouldn’t have jerks working for you building products & services that people need, would you?
Organize a group; If everyone was the organizer, then who would be part of the group.
Volunteer; Volunteering is good.
Take an active role in your children’s activities; This is reasonable, but impractical if you have expectations that exceed all adds where you don’t have time for both.
Start a family; These days when the family is falling apart because of lack of discipline, sexual permissiveness & growing love of materialism & meism, is it any wonder why this tip is so pessimestic.
Write a book; Yeah, tried that, subjects about corruption in politics & false religions were refused publication even when presented with factual documents.
Learn an art; Art is good.
Run for office; First of all, politics are all corrupt & if you try & make change for the good of all, corruption & opposition rears its ugly head especially among the rich & powerful.
Take up a sport; As long as money stays out & the sport is done for sport rather than a business, then sports is good.
Setting an outrageous goal and achieve it; Here again, in order to follow this tip, you must sacrifice other things, because there are so many ideaologies that do not carry unification & only through unity can any goal be accomplished, but the stress may force you to give up the 9 other tips above.
The heading of this article should be “10 self-sacrificing ways to make your life feasable.
shy guy says on March 15th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Good motivation…
I like the first tip..
Start a business… and quote “Only jerks work for jerks’
Work for jerks make my blood pressure high…
Steph says on March 15th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Kudos, Dustin, for a great article.
However, I totally agree with Amy. You’ve hit a hot topic here in your opening (hope you don’t mind the controversy – I love it) and from your response to Amy, still don’t quite get it yourself.
I’ve used the Secret all my life and have accomplished losing 46 inches and 46 pounds in about a year. Mind you, it wasn’t my first time losing weight, second time in fact losing as much weight, too – I’ve struggled with weight issues all my life. But I KNOW I’ve got it now.
Things take time and everyone stumbles along the way until they finally accomplish their goals. THIS is what the Secret teaches. Without positivity, you’ll just give up when you fail.
The power behind the Secret is in the emotions. I think positive “thinking” should be replaced with “being”. It’s about imagining yourself with your goal accomplished and FEELING what it’s like to be there. This power of imagination allows you to freely believe that it’s possible!
Those people you speak of, Dustin, those who try the Secret and are disillusioned when they fail – they don’t get it yet.
Negativity and laziness turn into default behaviour as we get older. Applying the principals of the Secret to your daily life is NOT easy. If it were, then a heck of a lot more than 10% of the population would be successful!
Again, great post, Dustin. And thank you for bringing this topic up!
dragononline says on March 15th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I have read this news earier and many people are discussing about this on interracialresources.com, a site for interracial singles.it cause a huge discussion there ! Really hot! I thought you would like to check it out!
Dustin Wax says on March 15th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Leon: I *did* say they were hard to do. I also said that nobody should really be looking at doing *everything* on this list — they’re “things to do” not “thinkgs you MUST do”.
Joe: Congrats, and good luck!
Quzie: I think that’s spot on — I’m no Christian myself, but the attitude, that Puritan streak, probably applies across the major world religions.
Ed: I met these two 70+ year old guys in Budapest who were bicycling from Istanbul to London! That kind of story of people doing outrageous things pretty much just for the sake of doing them, to me that’s inspiring.
Steph: I’m not worried by the controversy, and clearly there’s a lot around The Secret that I hadn’t been aware of. I won’t say there’s not some good ideas in most self-development literature, even the stuff I hate. But this idea, that those who fail “just don’t get it”, that rubs me the wrong way. The in-group/out-grop mentality that even the name “The Secret” fosters, that rubs me the wrong way. And as someone else said, the focus on material wealth (which may not be part of The Secret, but is certainly a central role in much PD lit), that too rubs me the wrong way. Consider this quote from this month’s premiere issue of Success Magazine’s relaunch: “If you want to know how people feel about themselves, look at their bank accounts. Money is the greatest measurement of one’s mindset.”
Really?
Dustin Wax says on March 15th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Oh, one more!
Alex: I guess that’s a question you have to ask yourself. I certainly didn’t intend that people should do *all* these things, though some will naturally flow from the others. Doing one or two — or even re-committing yourself to one you’re already doing — is probably more than enough challenge for many people’s lives!
And here’s a bonus #11 that for some reason I didn’t think of when writing this post, despite the fact that education is my primary career: Go back to school!
Chloe says on March 15th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I would add something to the list, along the lines of #1, but more important and distinctly different: becoming financially independent. Financial independence is NOT moving out of your parent’s basement nor is it owning your own job as a ’self-employed’. Try Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki for more details.
BTW I also agree that “Secret bashing” is unproductive. I believed in the so-called secret before I knew it was a movie. There are many books that describe it like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Millionaire Next Door, and Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, etc.
Jonathan Mead says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I really liked this article, common sense and worthwhile goals to go after.
Jaime Ramos says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I agree with most of the points, socialization is one important aspect of life, we must try to do things that involve other people.
The other Kris says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I’m in total agreement with Dustin here. I loved the opening, and I’m so so tired of hearing from the brainwashed “Secret” cult about how the rest of us just don’t “get it”.
Honestly, I don’t know why people talk about it as if it’s rocket science. Sorry, it’s not. And you’re not smarter or more aware than everyone else either.
Good freakin’ grief.
Cody says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I agree with Amy wholeheartedly.
The Secret’s marketing crap is very exciting and the Secret is very entertaining. You need to dig a little deeper and check out some of the work by folks featurued in the secret.
I really like folks like Neale Walsch (Conversations with God), Abraham-Hicks, Hale Dwoskin (The Sedona Technique), and Michael Beckwith. You can check all of them out for free. Hit up YouTube for some free stuff. If you know where to look, then you can also find some of their content that they sell freely downloadable.
Their messages are inspiring and their idea that you get what you get based on your overall attitude toward life and your daily thought processes are pretty much dead on, IMHO.
I like the positive part of this post, but I don’t think slamming others is really conducive to achieving much positive?
Look at everything with an open mind/heart but think about things.
Could you let go of your distrust? Would you? When?
Ha ha ha…
Cody says on March 15th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Sorry, it’s the Sedona Method, I get it confused with Larry Crane’s Release Technique (both basically the same thing in my opinion), and sorry for the bad spelling. :)
Krunal Jariwala says on March 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Yes, I completely agree with you… its easy to think positive, but its very difficult to put these thinking into action… and thats what more important is… making it happen is all matter.
Steph says on March 15th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Thanks for your response, Dustin, and everyone else’s, too. This whole discussion is FABULOUS!
I must apologize for my delivery, though. Please bear with me as I clarify what I meant by my comment and as I address Dustin’s very valid points:
When using the Secret, you don’t ever fail because you believe so thoroughly that anything you want is attainable, and it’s only a matter of time before you find your way around your obstacles.
By no means does this suggest that those who choose to give up on their hopes and desires should be thrown to the wolves.
The Secret teaches (first for yourself, then others) compassion, forgiveness, generosity, acceptance, respect, love, integrity, honesty…all the good things in life. And above all else: gratitude.
To get in that positive mind frame (in order to feel what it’ll be like when your desire is fulfilled) you must take a look at everything you have now and be grateful for it.
In this respect, what you want isn’t necessarily better than what you have now, it’s just different, the next step.
The focus on the material is logical because when your basic needs are taken care of, then you have more time to spend on more important things: like giving back to the world by using your individual talent to help people who want your help.
So, thanks for listening to my take on the Secret. And really, everything in life is based on your perception, right? I find value in the Secret but I also respect those who don’t. Again, my apologies if failed to communicate this the first time.
Again Dustin, great job on the post but you really excelled in sparking a hot debate. Congrats and thank you!
rooben says on March 15th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I’d like to add “build your own house to that” – (probably like point 10 -set an outrageous goal).
Its hard, challenging work, takes ages but at the end you will be reminded every day that hard work and a good idea will always make yor life better. So you can go and do something even more amazing !
Santosh says on March 15th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Nice blog. I liked the way you tried to explain the ingredients that goes in for doing something worthwhile in life. I also kinda feel that how much ever motivation one may have, one has to face the twists n turns this life has to offer. I always feel its the passion that one carries for achieving something that takes him there. If your passionate enough no matter what you face in life,you’d find yourself at the right time n the right place to be.
John Thomas "Kooz" Kuczmarski says on March 15th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I’ve already done those! They DO improve your life massively!
Bruce Lewin says on March 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Excellent thoughts :-)
Rubina says on March 16th, 2008 at 9:14 am
I’ve started writing a book.. let’s see how that goes!
Blaze says on March 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Starting a business puts you in control of your work life, and your money. One of the reasons I decided to work from home. I put many hours in but also enjoy being able to take time off without having to ask permission from a boss or supervisor.
Iggy says on March 16th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Great list, but you should point out one thing: non-Muslims face serious problems if they’re caught trying to go to Mecca.
Here’s the sign on the way to Mecca:
http://baraka.progressiveislam.....20sign.jpg
Be careful about reccommending Mecca…it still has religious apartheid though a lot of people erroneously think that practice has ended.
Dustin Wax says on March 17th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Iggy: I certainly hope that my off-the-cuff examples aren’t what people ar eusing to make major life decisions with! If anyone’s planning to go to Mecca now because I recommended it, take a moment and consider if there might not be something *important to you* you’d rather do instead.
That said, non-Muslims can’t really make Hajj, since it’s not required of us as a pillar of our faith. Since I’m sure that a number of Muslim readers read Lifehack, and that making the pilgrimage to Mecca may well have life-defining meaning for them, the recommendation still stands.
The point is, do something outrageous that has profound meaning for you! And if I — or anyone else — warns you not to, do it anyway.
Sangrail says on March 17th, 2008 at 3:28 am
If you take ‘The Secret’ to it’s logical conclusion, you end up with a blame the victim mentality.
Anyone who gets cancer, anyone caught in a war zone, an accident, or was born disadvantaged – it’s *their* fault. They must have *attracted* it to them.
Look at what Steph wrote:
“you don’t ever fail because you believe so thoroughly that anything you want is attainable, and it’s only a matter of time before you find your way around your obstacles.”
Because people don’t fail, they don’t have bad things happen, nope – “those who choose to give up on their hopes and desires”
They’ve ‘chosen’ it.
Watch what happens when someone in a circle of ‘Secreters’ is struck by misfortune. Their ‘friends’ drop like flies, because it’s not that something bad happened to them, no, they’re just not ‘doing the secret’ right.
They’ve ‘chosen’ to give up, and so the people with that mindset abandon them, for fear of being ‘contaminated’ by their ‘choice’.
New Orleans? Famines in Africa? Totally their choice.
Oh, and how can you tell if someone is spiritually in tune? Aligned with The Secret? They’re rich! Yup, that’s not just independent of, but the *sign* of a spiritually/’Secretly’ in tune individual.
There’s a lot of ways that people have wilfully chosen to deny reality, and ignore the alleviable suffering of others – this is just one of them.
It’s not a group of people, or a cultural mindset, I’d like to live in.
Luckily, it’s not. Go to India if you want to feel that people’s misfortune is their karma, meanwhile, I’m here, with a good life, good friends, and you know what? If shit happens, it happens.
:P
Sangrail says on March 17th, 2008 at 3:30 am
Oh – not singling India out here, just an example of a place where there’s often extremes of poverty, and people come up with excuses to ignore it.
It’s common the world over.
James says on March 17th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Great article
James
http://www.iwantvouchers.com
Ged says on March 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
This is a brilliant post and so different from the “have a scented bath, go for a walk” boring school of Self-improvement! Although I don’t think it’s necessarily true for everyone, many of need inspiring, challenging goals to give our life purpose.
I like the two extra ones as well: go back to school and build your own house.
I was excited to find that, in my 60th year, I’ve already done most of these -and writing the book is what I’ve got down for this year’s goal … building the house will have to wait until I’m 65!
As Dustin says, many of these goals are hard, but they don’t need any mysterious “Secret” to fulfil them … just imagination and commitment – support from others is good, too.
Since the age of 50 I’ve started 2 new businesses, become a professional singer, gained an MBA ,served as Chairperson of my choir, started a book club and moved to a new country with a different language. None of this brings perfect happiness and contentment … we all have to face life’s vicissitudes relating to health, money, family and relationships, but I do feel as though I’m living life (with all its ups and downs!) to the full …
Oh, I would add two more: learn to make something with your hands (soapmaking is the best stress-beater I know!) and learn a language. I would also recommend that if you’ve already done some of these – do them again in a different way.
I’m also trying VERY hard to ignore number 9 …. sport, ugh, have I GOT to?!
Thanks again fdor the inspiration!
Ged
Jehangir says on March 18th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Gandhi said it best:
‘Be the change you want to see in the world’
Kelly says on March 20th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Cool! I’m already working on #6: writing a book. I thought it was going to be easy…well, this is interesting, because I was taking a fifteen minute break from writing to do some stumbling. I just came across this, first stumble. Another “just when you need it” motivation to get you through the tough stuff.
tracy Ho says on March 21st, 2008 at 9:31 am
There are realy a New tips that I had read ,
Great view , Thanks a lot
Tracy Ho
wisdomgettingloaded
lothar patten says on March 22nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
i’m trying to find ways to make life alot better for everyone.lothar patten.
John says on March 23rd, 2008 at 9:23 am
What are you saying that hasn’t been said before, on this blog? How many words could you have saved, and said the same thing? 80%? Would linking to an old article that says the same thing have saved you time to do something else more productive — and your readers time, because they already read it?
Those are the questions I’d ask myself if I were you.
Also, don’t tell me to start a business, and don’t tell me about your dad. Tell me about your business you started, and tell me what your dad did, and much money he made / impact on the world he made.
Most people are very stupid when it comes to business. Telling them to do that is like telling them it’s a good idea to buy a house because then you have equity.
Even if you make profit for somebody else, if you make 60K working for them, but only 40K working for yourself, and you’re working harder… what exactly about that computes (other than you FEEL good? — only you don’t because you’re working on the weekends).
So maybe the point there is just make better decisions.
-John
Dustin Wax says on March 23rd, 2008 at 11:59 am
John: I only disagree with you 186%, so I felt I should make a quick comment. First of all, it’s true that everything that could be said has already been said. Since few of us are up to Shakespeare’s snuff, you’re right — all writing should cease except for technical specifications for new iPods and stuff.
However, for the handful of people who haven’t *read* all the good stuff that was said before, some of us keep writing.
On starting a business, I’m a freelance writer. I write about writing a lot on this site, so I usually make a decision to keep that out of posts that aren’t explicitly about writing. That said, I’m *showing* you my business by writing — I don’t feel I have to always be *telling* you about it.
More importantly, I have *never* met anyone whose biggest regret in life was starting their own business. I’ve met people who regretted some of the mistakes they’d made in *running* their business, I’ve met people who wished they’d made more money, but nobody ever regrets the simple fact of self-employment — even when they could make more money working for The Man. In fact, making less is something every entrepreneur accepts “out of the box”, since new businesses by definition lose money for some time, and many (most?) fail. Still, as others have said here, it’s the *trying* that counts, the taking charge and making one’s own way. You’ll never hear an entrepreneur complain about being locked into a dead-end job — nobody controls your advancement path but you.
And that is, as the title suggests, crazy *hard*.
Liz says on May 28th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Thanks Dustin! I like your perspective on things. Looking at my life, I can see that some of my greatest sources of pride and satisfaction fit onto your list, and the fact that they were hard makes them all the more important.
Runescape Forums says on August 7th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I very much like the goals idea ;D
Krunal Jariwala says on August 16th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Great Article…
I’ve read your this article at the time when you’ve published it, and today while browsing I come across it again. There has been lot of changes in me, since then, because I’ve actually tried to follow few of this hard things to make my life good. I already have small business, additionally I’ve joined local community club, and a football club in our area.. and these small-small things have ultimately helped make my life Better….
Thanks for such a wonderful article…
All the Best.!
Krunal
Aeroshift says on August 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Dude, keep writing. You see all these people that contributed to your article? It’s amazing!
And this article helped me a lot. Thanks.
mine says on March 1st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
thanks a lot!!! i read this article while i was really upset and i thought i would get into pieces but your article help me. i feel better now :). once again, thank you.
sd says on April 14th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Loved it. Thank you.
todd says on June 10th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
so boring and cliche
devskii says on July 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 am
do you know real secret behind ‘the secret’? well the secret is to ’sell’ the idea of ‘the secret’. thats right.. sell books, cd, dvd, consulting, therapy, conference, etc etc. that is how rhonda byrne and co. made their millions.
Mary says on August 7th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Hey Kris–rich people are rich because they’re willing to stand on other people, and because they have a mistaken notion of how to BE in this world, of what’s important. Can’t we begin thinking in terms of doing something true and meaningful, rather than in terms of making ourselves bright and happy? The obsession with ‘happiness’ in a culture where everyone is miserable and alienated is understandable. But more important than happiness is truth, the art and the real that comes straight and uniquely from within us. Everyone wake the f up and start doing something interesting and edgy, not this same old pathetic self-help crap…