How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City
Even if you are naturally shy, these three tricks will help you to quickly build a new social circle in any new city.
1. Take Pictures
One of the great things about taking pictures at an event or party is that it gives you an excuse to get in touch with the person later. Everybody loves seeing pictures of themselves, and it’s very easy after taking a picture to say “Are you on Facebook?” or “If you’d like I can email it to you.”
This can be the seed that leads to new connections. The next time you hear about a fun event email your new contacts to let them know about it.
2. Eat Alone In Public
If you don’t know anyone in a new city, it can be tempting to order take-out and retreat back to your lonely apartment or hotel room. Instead, try eating by yourself in public as often as possible.
You might feel self-conscious eating by yourself but it has an important benefit: you are much easier to approach when you are alone. People may be afraid of interrupting you or being rude if you are in a conversation with someone else.
Bring a book or newspaper to read (this will make you feel less self conscious). Plus, having an interesting book with you will give others an excuse to start a conversation if they’ve read it.
3. Join A Class, Sports Team, Or Club
Yoga, salsa dancing, volleyball, jogging, Toastmasters (a public speaking club), a class for work, martial arts, etc. Take up a new hobby or continue an old one!
These are all great places to meet new people, primarily because you will be forced to see the same people over and over again in the class. You will automatically make friends with them if you have a common interest and are forced to see each other again.
If you’re having troubling thinking of a good one to join, try browsing the many clubs on MeetUp.com or the events on CraigsList.com
Bonus Tips:
- In the beginning, never turn down an invitation from someone, even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally do.
- Email your new friends with fun things to do instead of always asking what their plans are. If they have a better plan you can always still drop yours and join them. This will help establish you as someone who is contributing value instead of just taking it (people want this in a friend).
- Don’t let little things in life piss you off or be a negative person. Others won’t want to be around you!
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
BrianArmstrong
At StartBreakingFree.com I write about proven ways people just like you are using to say goodbye to the rat-race and build successful home based businesses on their own terms, in their own way.
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Comments
Torley says on November 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
It’s intriguing, taking pictures has helped me make a lot of friends in the virtual world of Second Life. I’m a perpetual tourist there: http://www.flickr.com/photos/t.....740036376/
I HAVE come across many people who enjoy seeing snapshots of themselves, or their creations posted up! =D
Vincent says on November 24th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Joining a club can definitely help to make some new friends with similar interest.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Ron Towns says on November 24th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
This article has some great tips! I’ve just recently moved to another city, and have had some trouble with this, along with other goals. I’ve been using vision boards to create focus around my desires. They are images pasted on a board that represent your hopes, dreams, and goals. Studying these boards every days plants seeds of these goals within your subconscious mind. Here’s the best resource I’ve found so far on vision boards: http://www.thevisionboardkit.com. The author (John Assaraf) is letting everyone download a free first chapter now!
Julie says on November 24th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
If you’re living abroad, taking a language class is a good way to meet ex-pats, like yourself. However, the real fun is in meeting locals.
Maria says on November 25th, 2008 at 9:05 am
I’ve got a perfect tip for newcomers. As a professional migrant (I lived in 3 countries by now and the 4th is coming soon) I learned that the best way to meet new people is through hospex (hospitality-exchange) organizations. There are 3 most prominent networks but the best one in my opinion is http://www.bewelcome.org. You create a profile and you can get in touch with people from all over the world. You can also write to people in your city and invite the for a coffee – they are out there to meet new people so they will be more than happy.
It saved me from a lonely evening more than once.
Give it a try.
Maria
Hilko says on November 26th, 2008 at 7:54 am
To add to Maria’s comment: another great ‘hospex’ organization is CouchSurfing (http://www.couchsurfing.com). I suspect it’s bigger and more popular than the site mentioned, but hey, even if it isn’t; the more the better (I could also suggest hospitality club).
Most people use CouchSurfing primarily to find places to stay when they’re traveling, but I’ve met many ‘non-local locals’ here in Amsterdam that have used it to make friends.
The concept is quite simple. You create an account, tell people a bit about yourself, upload pictures, etc. Then, you join relevant groups (say, Amsterdam, or a particular interset). From there, the usual step is to approach people in cities that you’re traveling to, but it’s perfectly acceptable to approach people in your own city.
At the same time, people from all over the world will message you with requests to stay at your place, or maybe just to have a cup of coffee. For example, there are many requests in the Amsterdam group by people who have to wait a few hours or even a day before their flight leaves. A perfect way to build an international, or national network.
Finally, most (larger) cities organize ‘CouchSurf meet-ups’, with ‘ambassadors’ in charge of a particular city. In Amsterdam this is a weekly event, in Utrecht just monthly. At these meet-ups in a nice café, you’ll meet the local ambassadors, other locals, and usually a group of people that are looking for a place to stay. Another great way to find a ‘community’.
oliver says on November 29th, 2008 at 2:28 am
Might want to note that this advice is highly dependent on culture. For example, number 2 would never work in Sweden, where it’s not socially acceptable to sit down beside an unknown person in that situation. It’s considered respectful of people’s privacy.
Number one would also be very hard to pull off, unless the two of you have some common reason for being there.
Number 3, however, would work very well. Social clubs (föreningar) is, except for work and school, the Swedish people’s primary way of getting to know more people.
Ralph says on November 30th, 2008 at 9:46 am
this is a nice article, yes but it is a bit to gender specific. To me this sounds to female, can you see some guy snaping pics of all over at a party?
StartBreakingFree.com says on November 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Yep, I can imagine it Ralph, that was me last night!
Brian
john laptop says on December 1st, 2008 at 2:07 am
haha, i want to be friend with you. my friend.
Jun Loayza says on December 2nd, 2008 at 8:58 pm
I’m actually getting ready to take a trip to the east coast. I have met a lot of people through the blogging community, and am trying to set up “dates” with everyone as I stop by their city.
I’m sure there will be times when I have no one to meet so I’ll definitely implement all of your strategies. I’ll document the strategies on my show http://FutureDelivery.tv
Look forward to reading more great stuff!
- Jun Loayza
publicspeakingtips.org says on January 20th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Great tip on adding public speaking club(s)!
switch says on April 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Maybe it’s very Good,but some people won’t do that like you.Thanks.
vassily says on June 4th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Thanks for the great topic. I just moved to a new country (Canada). Well actually it’s been about a month. All I can say now is that I’m just surprised at how much social skills I have lost in the past 8 years. I mean when I was 18, I just used to make friends waaay quicker. I also moved to another coutnry when I was 18 and I made friends all over the place in my first month then. Now it’s been a month here and I have absolutely no friends. I mean I do know some people but never passed the “Good morning” “What a nice day” stage. Funny huh? Life is full of surprises, but the biggest surprise is how YOU change.
govinda rao says on June 13th, 2009 at 2:10 am
nice to meet you
kiran says on July 27th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Thankyou for nice tips.I moved to new country first time and into a new culture. I had been here for 3 months and have no friends yet…. I hope your will help me to get new friends.
van dealer says on August 5th, 2009 at 7:15 am
I’m moving to a new city soon and this is exactly what i needed, thanks!
Muda says on October 14th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
What a great tips
Still can’t make friends like minded in my city, their is hug turn over in my city alomst every 3 month some friends goes and some new comes, my city called Sharm El Sheikh google it ;-)
Anastasia says on November 22nd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Hi guys!
http://www.togedoo.com – it is in a beta-version (!) means – no users yet :) . But I thought it is within the topic discussion – it is a search for people in your ZIP who have same interest. So let them find you – create you free 29 seconds profile :)
regards,
Anastasia
Peter says on January 22nd, 2010 at 11:56 am
If you’re a recent college grad moving to a city, you can also check out Turned City on Facebook. It’s basically a dating website for friendships. You enter your interests, location, hobbies, etc and you’re matched up with similar people. Check it out.
http://www.facebook.com/apps/a.....1725754091