How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City

November 24 by | 52 comments | Communication | Tags: , , , , ,

New Friends

Even if you are naturally shy, these three tricks will help you to quickly build a new social circle in any new city.

1. Take Pictures

One of the great things about taking pictures at an event or party is that it gives you an excuse to get in touch with the person later.  Everybody loves seeing pictures of themselves, and it’s very easy after taking a picture to say “Are you on Facebook?” or “If you’d like I can email it to you.”

This can be the seed that leads to new connections. The next time you hear about a fun event email your new contacts to let them know about it.

2. Eat Alone In Public

If you don’t know anyone in a new city, it can be tempting to order take-out and retreat back to your lonely apartment or hotel room.  Instead, try eating by yourself in public as often as possible.

You might feel self-conscious eating by yourself but it has an important benefit: you are much easier to approach when you are alone.  People may be afraid of interrupting you or being rude if you are in a conversation with someone else.

Bring a book or newspaper to read (this will make you feel less self conscious).  Plus, having an interesting book with you will give others an excuse to start a conversation if they’ve read it.

3. Join A Class, Sports Team, Or Club

Yoga, salsa dancing, volleyball, jogging, Toastmasters (a public speaking club), a class for work, martial arts, etc.  Take up a new hobby or continue an old one!

These are all great places to meet new people, primarily because you will be forced to see the same people over and over again in the class.  You will automatically make friends with them if you have a common interest and are forced to see each other again.

If you’re having troubling thinking of a good one to join, try browsing the many clubs on MeetUp.com or the events on CraigsList.com

Bonus Tips:

  • In the beginning, never turn down an invitation from someone, even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally do.
  • Email your new friends with fun things to do instead of always asking what their plans are.  If they have a better plan you can always still drop yours and join them.  This will help establish you as someone who is contributing value instead of just taking it (people want this in a friend).
  • Don’t let little things in life piss you off or be a negative person.  Others won’t want to be around you!

Brian Armstrong is a 25 year old entrepreneur who achieved financial freedom working for himself! Today he seeks to help others do the same as a writer, speaker, and consultant. Prior to becoming self employed, Brian’s work experience ranged from fortune 500 companies, to several small startups with less than 15 employees. In 2001, he ventured out on his own with his first company and was instantly hooked, starting two more in the next five years. Brian currently resides in Houston, TX leading authority on how to quit your job to work for yourself.

  • Pingback: DYSPEPSIA GENERATION » Blog Archive » How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City

  • http://torley.com Torley

    It’s intriguing, taking pictures has helped me make a lot of friends in the virtual world of Second Life. I’m a perpetual tourist there: http://www.flickr.com/photos/torley/sets/72157605740036376/

    I HAVE come across many people who enjoy seeing snapshots of themselves, or their creations posted up! =D

  • http://www.healthmoneysuccess.com Vincent

    Joining a club can definitely help to make some new friends with similar interest.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  • http://www.thevisionboardkit.com/ Ron Towns

    This article has some great tips! I’ve just recently moved to another city, and have had some trouble with this, along with other goals. I’ve been using vision boards to create focus around my desires. They are images pasted on a board that represent your hopes, dreams, and goals. Studying these boards every days plants seeds of these goals within your subconscious mind. Here’s the best resource I’ve found so far on vision boards: http://www.thevisionboardkit.com. The author (John Assaraf) is letting everyone download a free first chapter now!

  • http://www.dreambank.org Julie

    If you’re living abroad, taking a language class is a good way to meet ex-pats, like yourself. However, the real fun is in meeting locals.

  • http://maria-sobkiewicz.blogspot.com Maria

    I’ve got a perfect tip for newcomers. As a professional migrant (I lived in 3 countries by now and the 4th is coming soon) I learned that the best way to meet new people is through hospex (hospitality-exchange) organizations. There are 3 most prominent networks but the best one in my opinion is http://www.bewelcome.org. You create a profile and you can get in touch with people from all over the world. You can also write to people in your city and invite the for a coffee – they are out there to meet new people so they will be more than happy.
    It saved me from a lonely evening more than once.
    Give it a try.

    Maria

  • http://www.munandu.com Hilko

    To add to Maria’s comment: another great ‘hospex’ organization is CouchSurfing (http://www.couchsurfing.com). I suspect it’s bigger and more popular than the site mentioned, but hey, even if it isn’t; the more the better (I could also suggest hospitality club).

    Most people use CouchSurfing primarily to find places to stay when they’re traveling, but I’ve met many ‘non-local locals’ here in Amsterdam that have used it to make friends.

    The concept is quite simple. You create an account, tell people a bit about yourself, upload pictures, etc. Then, you join relevant groups (say, Amsterdam, or a particular interset). From there, the usual step is to approach people in cities that you’re traveling to, but it’s perfectly acceptable to approach people in your own city.

    At the same time, people from all over the world will message you with requests to stay at your place, or maybe just to have a cup of coffee. For example, there are many requests in the Amsterdam group by people who have to wait a few hours or even a day before their flight leaves. A perfect way to build an international, or national network.

    Finally, most (larger) cities organize ‘CouchSurf meet-ups’, with ‘ambassadors’ in charge of a particular city. In Amsterdam this is a weekly event, in Utrecht just monthly. At these meet-ups in a nice café, you’ll meet the local ambassadors, other locals, and usually a group of people that are looking for a place to stay. Another great way to find a ‘community’.

  • oliver

    Might want to note that this advice is highly dependent on culture. For example, number 2 would never work in Sweden, where it’s not socially acceptable to sit down beside an unknown person in that situation. It’s considered respectful of people’s privacy.

    Number one would also be very hard to pull off, unless the two of you have some common reason for being there.

    Number 3, however, would work very well. Social clubs (föreningar) is, except for work and school, the Swedish people’s primary way of getting to know more people.

    • Kegn21

      Number 2 wouldn’t work in the states either. Especially at amusement parks when foreigners ask you if they could sit beside you and your family. It’s considered creepy, which I imagine sitting next to a complete stranger would be.

  • Ralph

    this is a nice article, yes but it is a bit to gender specific. To me this sounds to female, can you see some guy snaping pics of all over at a party?

  • http://www.StartBreakingFree.com StartBreakingFree.com

    Yep, I can imagine it Ralph, that was me last night!
    Brian

  • http://www.babatek.com john laptop

    haha, i want to be friend with you. my friend.

  • http://FutureDelivery.tv Jun Loayza

    I’m actually getting ready to take a trip to the east coast. I have met a lot of people through the blogging community, and am trying to set up “dates” with everyone as I stop by their city.

    I’m sure there will be times when I have no one to meet so I’ll definitely implement all of your strategies. I’ll document the strategies on my show http://FutureDelivery.tv

    Look forward to reading more great stuff!

    - Jun Loayza

  • Pingback: McColley.net » Blog Archive » Be the Designated Photographer to Make New Friends [Personal Relationships]

  • Pingback: Reading it later 2 at Otakurean?

  • Pingback: Querystring » Be The Designated Photographer To Make New Friends

  • Pingback: DHCPme » Blog Archive » Be the Designated Photographer to Make New Friends [Personal Relationships]

  • Pingback: We once were red…. » Be the Designated Photographer to Make New Friends [Personal Relationships]

  • Pingback: Oh Snap! I’m Moving To South America…

  • http://www.publicspeakingtips.org publicspeakingtips.org

    Great tip on adding public speaking club(s)!

  • Pingback: Home Business Answered » Oh Snap! I’m Moving To South America…

  • http://www.american-switches.com switch

    Maybe it’s very Good,but some people won’t do that like you.Thanks.

  • vassily

    Thanks for the great topic. I just moved to a new country (Canada). Well actually it’s been about a month. All I can say now is that I’m just surprised at how much social skills I have lost in the past 8 years. I mean when I was 18, I just used to make friends waaay quicker. I also moved to another coutnry when I was 18 and I made friends all over the place in my first month then. Now it’s been a month here and I have absolutely no friends. I mean I do know some people but never passed the “Good morning” “What a nice day” stage. Funny huh? Life is full of surprises, but the biggest surprise is how YOU change.

  • http://no govinda rao

    nice to meet you

  • kiran

    Thankyou for nice tips.I moved to new country first time and into a new culture. I had been here for 3 months and have no friends yet…. I hope your will help me to get new friends.

  • http://www.vanlocator.co.uk van dealer

    I’m moving to a new city soon and this is exactly what i needed, thanks!

  • http://www.hrredsea.com Muda

    What a great tips
    Still can’t make friends like minded in my city, their is hug turn over in my city alomst every 3 month some friends goes and some new comes, my city called Sharm El Sheikh google it ;-)

  • http://www.togedoo.com Anastasia

    Hi guys!
    http://www.togedoo.com – it is in a beta-version (!) means – no users yet :) . But I thought it is within the topic discussion – it is a search for people in your ZIP who have same interest. So let them find you – create you free 29 seconds profile :)

    regards,
    Anastasia

  • http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=161725754091 Peter

    If you’re a recent college grad moving to a city, you can also check out Turned City on Facebook. It’s basically a dating website for friendships. You enter your interests, location, hobbies, etc and you’re matched up with similar people. Check it out.

    http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=161725754091

  • Pingback: Preparing to Launch (Part 1). « I'm not here to make frenemies.

  • MJ KIM

    This article helped me a lot. Thank you for the resources and tips!

  • Cheyenne

    If you're in Chicago, check out http://www.meetjoe.net – local service exclusively in Chicago where a real guy named Joe meets you and then facilitates introductions to other people who are hand-picked based on who you are and what you like.

  • LittleTuna

    I recently moved to nyc and all my “friends” cashed me. I know, it sounds depressing, but I am better of without them! Thanks lifehack.org for these inspiring words of wisdom which will be the foundation for my new adventure through the journey of life.

  • http://twitter.com/katiehartle katie hartle

    I would personally go with FriendMatch, it is an online matchmaking service (free) for friends only, no dates allowed though… http://www.friendmatch.us Good luck everyone!

    • Syed Syed70

      hi dear

  • Swethaishu

    Very nice topic .Friendship is the thing which we have in all stages of life.There is a site which i surfed which has private chat to make friends.Friends in this site are only womens they are very caring and understanding..Friends you make here can longlast for more years.Want to make friends in chennai just check this link
    http://www.chennaimoms.com

  • Azarimano98

    I need to write an oral presentation about how to make new friends but I can’t find the right information! :(

    • Samira

      oh its OK but you’ll get it done before its doe!

  • Riley

    What do I do in order to make friends. It’s been almost four months and I still have no friends

    • malb

      Really man? Whats up where you from

  • Sheila B.

    I used to make friends really fast and keep them, since I move to America things changed completely. It made me search the web trying to find out whats wrong with. I think the tips will help a lot! Thanks for your help

  • Shlomih1980

    http://www.2match2.com
    Discover new friends with similar interests

  • James Wilkinson

    Yep, you gotta have friends in a foreign city. Otherwise..

    I also recommend reading this one: http://www.howdoimakefriends.com

  • Katie Lynn

    Making new friends can take a little time. Patience is one thing to have and once you meet a few people, more seem to follow. A great site to meet new people is http://www.blendabout.com You get to go out for dinner with a whole group of new people.

  • Jon

    Thank you for the fantastic tips. While here, I would like to mention http://www.grooovy.me as an iphone app that would allow you to create events in the first place for meeting people. It’s just an alternative to think about besides joining a club which might not be readily accessible to some. 

    Disclaimer: I’m involved with Grooovy.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XRREUFJCGAY33TNBVAVSF7Y6RE RAJ

    i liked the part of eating outside and being easier to approach which is very true. I recently moved to a new city and found this video to help http://www.yourcharismacoach.com/episodes/no-friends-how-to-make-more-friends-episode-11/ and the accompanying article.

  • Joblo

    One time I ate out by myself and I got harassed by nasty old men. Never want to do that again

  • jude:)

    i moved from south africa im 15 and i have no real friends every weekend im by my self….i live in england…i now hate life almst..

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZF5UMRBXBR5VMZ2VDGUTIAXVCE Musiime

    Thank you for the tips.  I would love to employ myself but I need someone to help me.  I started a school with 14 students and now it has grown to 350 children.  However, I lack  decent classrooms for better learning environment.  I need someone who can help me build better classes or whom i can partner with.  My email is [email protected].  thank you so much.

  • Pingback: You’re Invited | Teacher Exchange

  • http://twitter.com/carblade Carl

    I have no friends since 1999, since I moved. I’m so shy and pathetic lol… I think it’s so hard to approach and start a talk. I feel so mad and sad that I feel like I would be better dead, and maybe starting again another new life… it’s disgusting to be me! Man, I really don’t know what to do.