When living out our daily lives, it’s often easy to look around and blame the world for our problems. Common complaints include:
- The poor economy is making me unable to live comfortably.
- My relationship with my spouse is putting a strain on my work performance.
- I’m constantly treated poorly by friends and family.
While it’s true that there are things in the outside world we can’t control, the biggest difference between two people is simply their reaction towards it. Having understood this for a while, I’ve often asked the question, “How?”
How is it possible to change your reaction to a particular event or situation?
While I always searched for tips to figure out how to make my life easier, what I observed in my own character was that things became far easier once I understood why we should stop complaining and change our reaction towards things. Because once I truly understood the benefits of this, my motivation to change increased.
So why should you stop complaining? Here are three reasons that I believe—if you truly understand them—will help you move forward and live a less stressful life:
1. The world owes you nothing
It really is true! The world really does have nothing to do with you or anyone else on this planet. There are no rules beyond societal expectations, and it’s up to you to make something of the chaos that is the natural order. The planet will continue to exist without you on it, which—as depressing as it sounds—should also provide you with excitement and a first glimpse of the reality of what your life should truly be about.
Through this, questions start to emerge such as: “If the world is irrelevant, who’s in charge of my life?” And, “What happens to my life from this point forward?”
You suddenly start to realize that while we were nurtured and looked after as kids, this really isn’t the case once we’re an adult. The world doesn’t provide us with the same blanket of comfort as our carers once did, which only means one thing: It’s up to us to provide that blanket for ourselves and no one else. Which brings me on to the second reason…
2. You are in charge of your own life
If you look back at your own life, you’ll begin to realize that everything you have ever done up to the present moment was all a result of the decisions you’ve made. Sure there may have been people around you who have convinced you to do some of the things you may have done. But it all ultimately depends on your decisions and no one elses: So who’s really to blame?
You really do have the control. Suddenly, there is no one else to blame but yourself.
You begin to see that amongst everything that’s happening around you, what you have is a blank canvas. Suddenly, your hopes and dreams aren’t dreams at all but are within the realm of possibility.
What are your dreams? What are your hopes and goals for the future? Do you have a plan? Start to think about what it might be and remind yourself daily that it’s all up to you to make things happen.
3. You can’t be a leader if you behave like a victim
Would you rather live a life with rules, or lead a life that is governed by you? I’m certain the answer is simple.
It’s really easy to put blame on things that are external to you, as it avoids personal responsibility and allows you to refuse the possibility that you may have things that can be changed. So what can you change?
Being a leader in your life takes courage and requires the willingness to face your fears, experience failure, and take complete personal responsibility of everything that happens to you. It will break away your ego yet build a new one: one of strength of character, humility, and humbleness.
I challenge you to turn the mirror on yourself and to ask yourself the following question:
“How and what can I now do to turn my life around?”
You have no one else but you to make it happen.
What do you want to achieve from the complaint? How to Complain Successfully (and Get Results)
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