Sometimes, the cause of our unhappiness is our very own nature. We are naturally inclined with certain characteristics which needs to be changed in order for us to live a happier and fulfilled life. To hold on to these natural characteristics and still aspire to be happy and live a fulfilled life is impossible. The only thing that stands between you and happiness is you. Change these natural characteristics of you and find your way to a happier destination.
1. Selfishness
It is very easy to think of other people as selfish but the truth is we are all naturally selfish. Of course, some people may be more selfish than others but we all have a dose of selfishness in our genes. Whose face do you first look at in a group picture? You! And so does everyone else.
If all the people in the world remained selfish, then the world will be such a horrible place to live. Selfishness must be replaced with empathy and selflessness. We must realize that, others are important in the world too. We are not the only important people, we need to look out for others the same way we would want them to look out for us. We might not be homeless, but if we were the homeless person on the street, will we expect others to help us or walk by.
When you trade selfishness for selflessness, you will realize that nothing is more fulfilling and joyful like helping and looking out for others. Help the homeless man get on his feet again, sponsor an orphan in Africa, with sites like this you can donate as little as $50 a month which will go a long way to change the future of others and give you the happiness and joy for making a difference.
2. Jealousy
If you are never truly happy at other people’s success, then you need to give it up for a fulfilled life. Jealousy rips away joy and happiness. Jealousy makes you angry, causes stress and can lead to depression. Jealousy blinds you of the great things in your life to be happy for and makes you miserable for the few things you don’t have that others have.
Be genuinely happy about other people’s success and not only when you will benefit from it. Being happy for others and giving up on jealousy will make you happier and successful, instead of being depressed and miserable by jealousy, your will be excited and more open to opportunities which will help you succeed.
3. Use your brains and not emotions
It is very easy to be led by emotions and not the mind. But being led by emotions all the time will only lead to disaster. It is common sense to exercise daily, but not all of us do. It is common sense to save and invest, but not all of us do. It is common sense not to procrastinate, but most of us do. Common sense is not common action. This is as a result of the battle between emotions and mind. The mind knows it is right to exercise instead of watching TV, but our emotions ‘feels’ like watching TV instead. The mind knows it is a good thing to log out of social media and do something worthwhile with your time but your emotions ‘feels’ like spending more time on social media instead of attending to the business.
The mind road is very narrow and difficult and only few people take that road, the emotional road is very broad and easy and many people take that road. No wonder there are more unsuccessful people than successful people in the world.
4. Lack of self control/discipline
If you want to live a happier and fulfilled life. You need to have discipline. Knowledge is power but if you lack the discipline to do that which you know to do, knowledge becomes futile. In other words, knowledge is useless without discipline. If you know you do not have to eat junk food but lack the discipline and self control to actually not junk food, you will still be obese and unhealthy regardless the knowledge you have.
5. Don’t dwell on negative comments
Isn’t it strange that one hundred people can tell us we look beautiful and compliment our personality and we soon forget but if one person tells us we look ugly it takes forever to forget, making us sad and bitter. Instead of dwelling on negative comments and letting positive comments die fast, rather let negative comments die fast and dwell on positive comments.
6. Judgemental
Ironically, we hate to be judged but find pleasure in judging others. We hate to hear mean things about us but never think twice in saying mean things about someone else. This is because naturally we are insensitive to other people’s feeling. We think others deserve our hurtful words and judgement but be mindful that to every one else in the world, you are the ‘other person’. Let us be less judgemental and correct others in love if need be. Every behaviour no matter how bizarre has meaning to the one performing it. Let’s be open-minded rather, there are more than enough judgemental people in the world already.
7. Unforgiveness
You pick up your husband’s phone and see naked pictures of other women on his phone. Your girlfriend whom you loved so much and invested your money, resources, love and time just left you for another person. You become the victim. Think of betrayal, hurt, pain, heartbreak, disappointment, you are a perfect definition. They don’t deserve forgiveness. You have cried and sobbed amidst the emotional trauma. You have two options; To hate them forever after all they are heartless, wicked and insensitive and to hold on to the scenes of their actions and tread on a bitterness lane-where you will always hurt inside and see them as the horrible beast they are or to put yourself together and say ‘you know what, they don’t deserve it, they are mean, wicked, betrayed me, disappointed me, defrauded me’ but I will forgive them not because I want to, but because I have to. Choosing the latter is the best decision.
Forgiveness is hard to do initially but it’s worth it. Taking the bitterness lane is such a horrible way to live. We need to forgive and let go after all, we all have one thing in common, we are human beings and none of us are perfect. It’s true we may be hurt because someone has hurt us and find it hard to forgive but think of all the people you have hurt yourself in the past. To err is human, once you are human, you have hurt someone before too so forgive.
