Advertising
Advertising

The One Thing You Need to Close the Deal on Change

The One Thing You Need to Close the Deal on Change

stockxpertcom_id20544871_jpg_2f922e5d7194ccc102952e3a056caef5

    You know what you want. You know what to do. So why is nothing happening?

    There are thousands of texts and approaches in the productivity & success universe. Many of them are good, some are great. Some, like the writings of Marcus Buckingham approach genius in their rich simplicity.

    Advertising

    So why, if there are so many great ways to become more productive and more successful, are so many of us still struggling to make real change happen in our businesses and lives?

    I believe we consistently miss one key element is undertaking a change process: the coaching relationship.

    Change is an abstract idea until it is made real in three ways: what you are committing to must appear on your schedule, have a line in your budget, and be supported by a coaching relationship. I have seen no evidence that it is possible to successfully conclude a change process without commitment through these three constants.

    Advertising

    Of the three constants that must be brought to bear on a change process, the most important is the coaching relationship. I want to be clear that I am not talking only about professional business or personal coaches, but any person or group that meets certain criteria in order to play a coaching role in your process.

    Coaching relationships are distinct from others in your life. A coaching relationship is one that fits the following criteria:

    • Coaching requires fearless honesty. Not brutal, not abrasive, just consistent, unflinching honest feedback about your goals and your progress.
    • Coaching has a mentoring component. While it is possible to be in a coaching relationship with an individual or group that is not an expert in the area you are working on changing (health, finances, employee relations, etc.), the risk of making errors that may derail you will increase.
    • Look for commitment. The coaching relationship is a formal one, with a clear commitment to a particular process. If you have hired a professional coach like a personal trainer, a business coach, a re-designer, a financial advisor, etc. the commitment on their part is built in. The commitment is that you will work with them for a specified period of time to reach a specified goal. That same commitment can be made between friends, collegues, mentors at work, or other team members. The more clearly the nature of the coaching relationship is spelled out (preferably in writing) the greater the chance of success.
    • Look for ease and openness. A great coaching relationship has one additional hallmark: an inter-personal ease that encourages openness, honesty, and trust. Keep this in mind when seeking or establishing a coaching relationship. Mentoring is possible between people who do not share that ease that is also found in great friendships, but coaching is made more difficult without it.

    When you have established a coaching relationship, what role will it play in your change process?

    Advertising

    • Outside perspective. We all have blind spots. The best coaching relationships allow the perceptions and voice of another person to help us avoid old patterns or see things in ways defined by our existing prejudices. Great coaching relationships allow us to break truly new ground in our journeys.
    • Scaffolding. A good coach will provide a manageable approach to the change process by creating a structure to follow, and by breaking down a huge task into small, daily or weekly pieces. This is the mentoring component of most coaching relationships, and why they should be knowledgeable in the area they are coaching you in. They erect the scaffold for you based on what they know about what needs to be done. You do the building.
    • Accountability. A coach will help you be accountable for your commitments. A coach will monitor your progress and encourage you to complete the tasks you have committed to.
    • Unconditional support. Change is hard. Sometimes change is deeply disruptive in unpredictable ways. There are always moments where everything feels like it is going backwards, and things are worse than they ever were. In those moments, coaching provides support, encouragement, comfort, and the confidence that you need to refocus on your journey. Coaching support is unconditional. It is without judgement, without expectations other than your success, and is unshakeable within the timeframe you have committed to.

    As you can see from this list, sustained success without coaching support is almost impossible. Without the outside perspective, scaffolding, formal accountability, and unconditional support, the likelihood that a change process will stall or go off the rails is unacceptably high.

    Without a coach, a plan is only a possibility. Without a coach, a budget and a timeline only signal good intentions.

    When you rely entirely on your own perspectives and habits there is a good chance that, like someone lost in the woods, you will find yourself where you started again, after months of hard work. When you work without a scaffold assembled by a knowledgeable mentor, the task becomes overwhelming, its foundations weakened by flaws right at the start. When you have not made yourself accountable to someone, in the darkest moments it is too easy to walk away, because no one will know. When you hit those those deeply disruptive setbacks that come out of nowhere, there are few of us who can keep moving forward without someone providing that steadying hand on our shoulder.

    Advertising

    When you begin the next change in your business or in life, consider it truly started once it has a place on your schedule and budget. But most of all don’t start without identifying the one relationship that will make the difference between getting lost and getting there: the coaching relationship.

    More by this author

    The One Thing You Need to Close the Deal on Change If your business disappeared tomorrow… You Want Engagement? Then Start Being Clear! Are you Satisfied? Searching for a Shared Virtual Workspace?

    Trending in Work

    1 13 Characteristics of Highly Successful Entrepreneurs 2 5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All 3 10 Simple Habits Every Effective Manager Needs to Learn 4 10 Ways To Help Your Employees Have A Healthy Work-Life Balance 5 Top 10 Workplace Safety Tips Every Employee Should Know

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on March 29, 2021

    5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

    5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

    When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

    What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

    The Dream Type Of Manager

    My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

    I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

    My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

    Advertising

    “Okay…”

    That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

    I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

    The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

    The Bully

    My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

    However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

    Advertising

    The Invisible Boss

    This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

    It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

    The Micro Manager

    The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

    Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

    The Over Promoted Boss

    The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

    Advertising

    You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

    The Credit Stealer

    The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

    Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

    3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

    Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

    1. Keep evidence

    Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

    Advertising

    Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

    Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

    2. Hold regular meetings

    Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

    3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

    Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

    However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

    Good luck!

    Read Next