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The Behaviors that Destroy Communication in Workplace (and How to Avoid Them)

The Behaviors that Destroy Communication in Workplace (and How to Avoid Them)

I’m going to kick this article off by giving you examples of two kinds of people: these are generalizations of course, but the idea here is for you to get a clear picture in your head of these people and see how that makes you feel. Who knows—maybe you’ll see yourself in one of these examples, as self-reflection often comes in unexpected places, and realize that there are a few things you could work on. Then again, let’s not get too lofty.

The Worst Guy 1:

Heather storms into your office (or cubicle or what have you), and says “Please tell me you’re ready for the meeting this afternoon. I hope you are, because I haven’t had time to get any of the work done. I’ve been so slammed with this extra project that Jack gave me, you know Jack right, the head of marketing? Well, he gave me this project to work on and I just haven’t had time to prepare for this meeting, so you’d better be on the ball because we don’t want to look stupid do we? Anyways, it’s not like you’ve been busy have you, I mean, what do you make thirty two a year…?”

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As you can imagine, it goes on for a bit longer, and you don’t manage to get maybe one or two words in, if you’re lucky. Heather, in this example, is far too aggressive. She barges in and starts yapping without any regard to what you may have been working on or what you may have been doing. Not only that, she is completely unprepared for a meeting and expects you to carry her. To add icing to the aggressive/annoying/obnoxious cake that she has brought into your office, she says that the reason that she isn’t prepared is because she was given this extra project and, in a way, is implying that she is special for having been chosen to do it.

Basically everything about this approach to communicating in the workplace is wrong.

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The Worst Guy 2:

You’re at the machine in the copy room, making sure there are enough flyers advertising the softball team to go around (keep in mind that these are just examples and it doesn’t matter whether there is a softball team, or if you work in a real office, at all). Gary walks in and stands behind you. He hasn’t announced himself yet, or tapped you on the shoulder, but you know he’s there. You also know that he’s the shy sort and likely won’t announce himself, so you turn around. “Heya, Gary” you say. “Oh. Hey, you” he responds. “So. I know that we have the end of quarter analysis coming up and that we’re all going to be busy, but, I don’t know, do you think that you could hurry up with that spreadsheet? I mean, you don’t have to. I guess. I could do it. It’s only, you know, I have this vacation coming up and, well, I did kind of want to take it before the next quarter. I guess I don’t have to, go on vacation I mean, it’s just that…”

This isn’t as bad as Heather, for sure, but nearly. Gary, in this case, is much too passive. In fact, he’s well beyond passive and bordering on milquetoast. For those of you who don’t know what a milquetoast is, it’s the perfect way to describe people like Gary: wishy-washy pushovers who don’t seem to be able to stand up for themselves, but also can’t help but play the victim.

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Again, the examples were drastic, but the point was to get the type across. When dealing with office relationships you can’t come off as too aggressive (it never pays to be on everyone’s “people to kill” list), and passive doesn’t work either because you’ll never get the respect that you deserve.

There is a fragile balance in the workplace where communication is concerned, especially at modern shared workspaces where you may not be speaking to someone in the same company.

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Here are some short-but-helpful tips to keep in mind when it comes to coworker communication:

  1. Get to know your coworkers—taking the time to befriend the people you work with is time well spent, believe me. It’s always nice to have someone on your side, and a friendly work environment is more productive.
  2. Look for the positive—everyone has faults, but it’s often the case that someone’s faults can become positive attributes, when focused through the right lens.
  3. Goals are the key to a successful business relationship—this goes for clients as well as coworkers. If you find yourself having difficulty communicating with someone, approach them and try to find a common goal you can both work towards. You’ll be surprised how quickly the differences between you fade.
  4. Stand up for yourself—there always comes a point, unfortunately, when looking for positive traits, and commons goals just doesn’t work. It’s then that you have to stand up for yourself. Don’t submit to the Heathers of the world who expect you to do their work for them.
  5. 5. Keep the dialogue open—this goes for everyone. Whether you are having a phenomenal time with Heather, or are about to nudge Gary out of an open window, the lines of communication must be open; between you, your coworkers, and your boss. This is easier said than done, I know, but well worth the effort in the end.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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