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The Behaviors that Destroy Communication in Workplace (and How to Avoid Them)

The Behaviors that Destroy Communication in Workplace (and How to Avoid Them)

I’m going to kick this article off by giving you examples of two kinds of people: these are generalizations of course, but the idea here is for you to get a clear picture in your head of these people and see how that makes you feel. Who knows—maybe you’ll see yourself in one of these examples, as self-reflection often comes in unexpected places, and realize that there are a few things you could work on. Then again, let’s not get too lofty.

The Worst Guy 1:

Heather storms into your office (or cubicle or what have you), and says “Please tell me you’re ready for the meeting this afternoon. I hope you are, because I haven’t had time to get any of the work done. I’ve been so slammed with this extra project that Jack gave me, you know Jack right, the head of marketing? Well, he gave me this project to work on and I just haven’t had time to prepare for this meeting, so you’d better be on the ball because we don’t want to look stupid do we? Anyways, it’s not like you’ve been busy have you, I mean, what do you make thirty two a year…?”

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As you can imagine, it goes on for a bit longer, and you don’t manage to get maybe one or two words in, if you’re lucky. Heather, in this example, is far too aggressive. She barges in and starts yapping without any regard to what you may have been working on or what you may have been doing. Not only that, she is completely unprepared for a meeting and expects you to carry her. To add icing to the aggressive/annoying/obnoxious cake that she has brought into your office, she says that the reason that she isn’t prepared is because she was given this extra project and, in a way, is implying that she is special for having been chosen to do it.

Basically everything about this approach to communicating in the workplace is wrong.

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The Worst Guy 2:

You’re at the machine in the copy room, making sure there are enough flyers advertising the softball team to go around (keep in mind that these are just examples and it doesn’t matter whether there is a softball team, or if you work in a real office, at all). Gary walks in and stands behind you. He hasn’t announced himself yet, or tapped you on the shoulder, but you know he’s there. You also know that he’s the shy sort and likely won’t announce himself, so you turn around. “Heya, Gary” you say. “Oh. Hey, you” he responds. “So. I know that we have the end of quarter analysis coming up and that we’re all going to be busy, but, I don’t know, do you think that you could hurry up with that spreadsheet? I mean, you don’t have to. I guess. I could do it. It’s only, you know, I have this vacation coming up and, well, I did kind of want to take it before the next quarter. I guess I don’t have to, go on vacation I mean, it’s just that…”

This isn’t as bad as Heather, for sure, but nearly. Gary, in this case, is much too passive. In fact, he’s well beyond passive and bordering on milquetoast. For those of you who don’t know what a milquetoast is, it’s the perfect way to describe people like Gary: wishy-washy pushovers who don’t seem to be able to stand up for themselves, but also can’t help but play the victim.

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Again, the examples were drastic, but the point was to get the type across. When dealing with office relationships you can’t come off as too aggressive (it never pays to be on everyone’s “people to kill” list), and passive doesn’t work either because you’ll never get the respect that you deserve.

There is a fragile balance in the workplace where communication is concerned, especially at modern shared workspaces where you may not be speaking to someone in the same company.

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Here are some short-but-helpful tips to keep in mind when it comes to coworker communication:

  1. Get to know your coworkers—taking the time to befriend the people you work with is time well spent, believe me. It’s always nice to have someone on your side, and a friendly work environment is more productive.
  2. Look for the positive—everyone has faults, but it’s often the case that someone’s faults can become positive attributes, when focused through the right lens.
  3. Goals are the key to a successful business relationship—this goes for clients as well as coworkers. If you find yourself having difficulty communicating with someone, approach them and try to find a common goal you can both work towards. You’ll be surprised how quickly the differences between you fade.
  4. Stand up for yourself—there always comes a point, unfortunately, when looking for positive traits, and commons goals just doesn’t work. It’s then that you have to stand up for yourself. Don’t submit to the Heathers of the world who expect you to do their work for them.
  5. 5. Keep the dialogue open—this goes for everyone. Whether you are having a phenomenal time with Heather, or are about to nudge Gary out of an open window, the lines of communication must be open; between you, your coworkers, and your boss. This is easier said than done, I know, but well worth the effort in the end.

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Last Updated on July 2, 2020

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe. But it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that’s when it becomes a source of concern, hurt, or sorrow.

Life problems, depending on their magnitude, can be clogs in the wheel of progress, and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don’t learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives as suggested in Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last.

In this article, I have identified some common areas where you will most likely face problems as you make progress towards reaching your full life potential. I have also suggested practical approaches in handling, managing, and solving such problems.

1. Financial Crisis

We live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis, it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years.

It could be that you lost your job or a major investment, got slammed with a lawsuit that threatens your savings, or have your livelihood be affected by a major disaster. So what do you do when you are in a financial mess?

Solution

To overcome a financial crisis, you will have to come to terms with the crisis. Acknowledge and accept the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right.

The next thing to do is to identify the cause of the crisis. If it’s due to a job loss, then your effort should be directed at getting a new job. If it is having multiple debts, look for ways to consolidate your debt so that your monthly debt repayment can be consolidated into one instead of being burdened with multiple payments.

You can also sell some of your assets to raise money to save the situation, or look for a better job if you are earning less at your current job. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends if you need to.

2. Health Crisis

Another major problem that might come up in your life is a health crisis. This is not far-fetched because our body systems work round-the-clock, even when we are sleeping. As a result of this, and if you don’t maintain routine health habits, health deterioration might begin to set in. Things might even get serious if you don’t attend to it early.

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Solution

When you are facing a major health crisis, the first thing to do is to consider lifestyle changes. This includes cutting down on junks, eating healthy diets, exercising, breathing fresh air, taking some sun, etc.

Apart from the lifestyle changes, you have to seek quality medical help and make sure you get different opinions about the state of your health so you can get the best affordable care.

3. Relationship, Marriage, and Family

There may not be anything as sweet as love and family life, but it can also be the source of pain for some. Human imperfections in a relationship can cause a major crisis in life. This has been a stumbling block to many on their path to fulfillment.

Solution

The best thing to do is to prevent relationship problems from happening, but if they do happen, you need to face reality and begin to take steps towards addressing them. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open as this can help in strengthening your struggling relationship. Talk about the challenges with your partner and look for common grounds.

You can also arrange to see a counselor together or read books that address the specific challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to end a relationship and that’s only when you have exhausted all other options.

4. Workplace

The workplace is supposed to be a place where we dutifully render the services for which we’ve been hired.

However, it is not impossible to face animosity at work—dealing with toxic people who would rather not see any good in what you do. It might be caused by differences in background, attitudes, and unhealthy competition that can result in personal conflicts. This can create undue stress and reduce productivity.

Solution

Be as professional as possible when dealing with toxic people. Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation.

You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself.

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5. Career Pressure

In your quest to become more successful, you will likely encounter work-related pressure. Such can come when trying to stabilize your career or climb the career ladder. It can also come as a result of overworking and having no life. Career pressure is one of the most common life problems.

Sometimes, it may be that the promotion you are working hard to get is not coming or positions you are qualified for are being offered to others. The pressure can get more intense when you find that most of your colleagues are moving ahead of you.

Solution

Check to find if you have personal or attitudinal problems. Some attitudinal problems can put you at a disadvantaged end. It may be poor communication, poor personal grooming, or poor relationship and networking skills. If it is any of these problems, then work on improving yourself in those areas.

You can also observe your colleagues who are succeeding and take note of what they are doing differently.

6. Unfair Treatment

We are in a world where some people often think they have some privileges over others and may want to exercise this thinking and treat others unfairly. If you find yourself in an environment where you are being oppressed or treated badly because of your race, gender, or current status, this can make you feel really bad and can also affect your psyche and productivity.

Solution

There is the temptation to decry your treatment, defend yourself, and demand a change immediately, but you should really wait for the right opportunity to do that.

When the time is right, reach out directly to the person or authority involved, and make it private. Meanwhile, you should be factual about the instances of your unfair treatments. Don’t just say it that you are being treated badly; give several undeniable instances.

Once you’ve made your grievances known politely, keep being you. If things don’t change, you can cocoon yourself in that environment. If you have an option to leave, you can do so as well.

7. Emptiness and Boredom

When you are in a rut, everything becomes normal, dull, unproductive, and yet difficult to change. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom. This may not seem like a serious life problem, but it can have a great impact on your life.

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Solution

To overcome boredom and emptiness, break out of your routines, and deliberately create a new experience for yourself. If you can’t leave your job to find a new one, start doing other things that reflect your true passion. Sometimes, the things that give us the needed drive in life are not our day jobs.

8. Confusion

Confusion is described as a change in mental status in which a person is not able to think with their usual level of clarity.[1]. It is inherent in forgetfulness and lack of concentration.

It can be caused by different things including medical and environmental factors. It can also be due to the experience of a loss, a heartbreak, or abuse.

Solution

Don’t allow the situation to deteriorate into something more serious. Try to snap out of whatever experiences you have had that is causing confusion. Seek medical help if necessary or talk to a psychologist.

9. Friendship Problems

We need friends in our lives to rob minds and hang out together and even help us when we run into trouble. But many people have found themselves in serious trouble as a result of the company of friends they keep. They’ve experienced jealousy, backstabbing, and betrayal of trust. Some friends have even used the information freely provided in times of friendship to betray trust.

Solution

Don’t open up on everything to friends. Keep some information only to yourself. If you notice that a friend is working against you, confront them with the truth. Limit your interaction with them or get rid of such toxic friends completely.

10. Haunting Past

We all have pasts, and we might have done some crazy stuff in the past before we begin to live a more civilized and decent life. But sometimes, the past comes back haunting. It’s even worse when life problems of the past haunt you back and become problems of the present.

It may be that what you have done is now striking your conscience, keeping you awake at night. Or someone who knows about it is trying to use it against you, and it is standing in the way of your progress.

Solution

Be true to yourself and forgive yourself. If it is an issue with another person, you can reach out to the person to settle with them. If it is a secret that is now being leaked out, own up to it, take responsibility, and move on.

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11. Safety and Security

You may find yourself in an environment where there have been unexplained murder, gun violence, police brutality, insurgencies, and other life-threatening situations. This can make you feel like you might be the next victim. What should you do in this situation?

Solution

Ensure that you watch where you go and keep your home secure. You can also get involved in a neighborhood community watch to collectively find solutions to the threat. If the situation persists, you can move to a more secure location.

12. Failure

Failure can bring disappointment and can also slow the pace of progress. But failure is also part of life, and we have to learn to deal with it. But what do you do when an experience of failure weighs you down?

Solution

You can read a book or biography to get inspired by other people’s success stories.

13. Grief

No one loves to grief but we can’t totally shield ourselves from it. The loss of a loved one is painful and, if not properly handled, can lead to an emotional breakdown.

Solution

Take your time to express emotions. You can also pen an emotional tribute to the individual. Writing can help us bring out the feelings that cannot be expressed otherwise, and it helps us breathe a sigh of relief.

You can also cope with your grief by helping them to realize some of their unfulfilled dreams or do something in their honor. Lastly, while you think about your loss, you will still have to move on, accepting the fact that life is transient.

The Bottom Line

Problems are what make life worth living. They help us adapt to become tougher as we adapt to different situations. Always remember that whatever problem you are facing has a solution or, at least, a manageable approach.

Therefore, never allow your challenges to stop you from fulfilling your true potentials in life.

More Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Featured photo credit: Danka & Peter via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medicinet: Confusion: Symptoms & Signs

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