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Simple Steps to Move Forward So That Success is Inevitable

Simple Steps to Move Forward So That Success is Inevitable

It’s strange isn’t it?

Why is it so hard to move forward? One step forward, another back, yet another sideways? Sometimes it can seem like we are just going around in circles.

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Blockages

Most blockages come from unresolved problems. So how do we become blocked and what can we do about it so that we are free to move forward? Most blockagesare in our heads. These mental blocks come from a variety of sources but they usually fall into these categories:

  • The past. We were either hurt in the past or made a mistake and it still bothers us. Perhaps we have experienced serious adverse circumstances and may have a lot of forgiving to do. Whatever the reasons you still have to move forward in spite of any unfinished business. Unfortunately, the past can linger in your brain as a distraction that continually pulls on your attention and energy to give it its due, so it can be hard to move forward when this occurs. Unfinished business can also make claims on your energy that prevent you from being wholeheartedly in the present.
  • The future. The future always holds uncertainty which opens the door to self-doubt. It can harness our imaginations in a negative way and make it hard for us to see useful decisions and choices. It can also open the what-if door and keep us suspended in questions that cannot be answered.
  • Our view of ourselves. All of our blockages reflect in some way our view of ourselves, our abilities, competence and potential for success. If our self view was damaged, then we may have a hard time visualizing a way to move forward.

How To Handle Blockages To Move Forward

Blockages are tricky to handle. We really cannot ignore them. If we do, our inner voice will demand our attention. We also need to realize that many of our inner challenges can’t be easily solved with an affirmation or visualization. They take a concerted effort and some time to heal and repair. What’s needed is a strategy so that we can move forward. So what can we do? I think the easiest way to handle blockages is to treat them as long-term companions in our lives. And give them their due. One way is to write in a journal every day in the morning and the evening. The amount of time doesn’t have to be great. By giving attention to the part of you that needs healing you are then freer to move forward. And you will feel better about yourself and therefore do better as a result.

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There’s More…

Ok, so we have set aside time and attention for our healing needs, but we still have to move forward somehow. How do we do that in a way that enables us to take intelligent risks and still honor ourselves and our limitations? The trick is really in how we go about it:

  • Avoid pushing yourself too hard and too fast. By accepting limitations, you actually stand a better chance of success because you are not fighting yourself.
  • Be prepared for and accept obstacles as important information. Sometime obstacles occur because of details that we need to pay attention to. We may not notice when we are going too fast or when we need to take a step back because we have missed something important.

Achieving Goals That Matter

You can succeed in anything you do as long as you give the work your all. To be able to give your work your all, you must have total acceptance of yourself. This is why making sure you address your hurts and unfinished business is so important. It frees your energy for your current tasks. To really achieve goals that really matter, and to be able to consistently work at them try this approach. Start with these questions:

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  1. Where am I? Define or acknowledge where you are.  This step also lets you be honest with yourself about the skills, resources  and limitations you have.
  2. What do I need? Notice I said need not want. Sticking to our needs keeps us closer to our true and authentic self and less likely to go off on a wild goose chase or seek less fulfilling pursuits – like excessive consumption.  Need can be anything from a need to earn enough to live on to engaging in creative work. But it needs to be a real need  born of our talents and desire to contribute to the world and not one that comes from others or societal pressures.
  3. What do I need to do to get what I need? Here you close the gap between the present and the future but you do so in a grounded way, because you are staying in touch with the realities of the present, who you are and your real needs. You can move forward intelligently and confidently, taking one step at a time.

The Benefit Of Being Grounded

Being grounded has the important benefit of enabling us to be serious about what we are doing, Seriousness has important implications for the quality of our work and therefore makes our work more satisfying. Have you ever decided on a goal, and felt a certain weakness inside about it? That feeling of weakness come from something not being right, probably in one of the steps above. Using the three questions will help you feel confident, appropriate and serious about what you are doing. That internal synchronicity will show up in your excellent results.

Featured photo credit:  Young businessman moving a knight on a chessboard via Shutterstock

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More by this author

Maria Hill

Maria Hill is the owner of Sensitive Evolution, an online platform dedicated to improving the lives of highly sensitive people.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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