Advertising
Advertising

Keeping Confident to Ward Off the Workplace Vampire

Keeping Confident to Ward Off the Workplace Vampire


    “Workers are drawn to those with an upbeat attitude, especially when challenges emerge, and it can start with you. It’s contagious.”  

                   – Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant   

    When you think of a person who is effective and successful at work, likely one of the prominent characteristics that individual possesses is confidence.

    Advertising

    Confidence suggests a sense of self empowerment and self-love that is steady despite life’s ups and downs.  Of course, this inner core of self-efficacy in the workplace does not start and end there. Rather, confidence is something a person carries within and is a key ingredient not only in work but in life.

    When people are confident in themselves, they contribute to making the workplace a positive environment.  People who are confident bring infectious energy to the workplace, as opposed to workplace vampires – those who suck the energy out of the workplace by negativity and drama and can make the workplace tediousWorkplace vampires tend to blame others for making them feel the way they do instead of taking responsibility. They have little self-reflection towards their poor attitude, and focus on what is wrong rather than what is going well ( as they tend to find fault in everything).  Workplace Vampires tend to be judgmental while lacking insight into themselves. Despite the insensitivity such people display to to others, they are exquisitely sensitive to injustices done to them.

    But the paradox does not end there.  Rather, the confident and righteous persona is underscored with emotional fragility and confusion.  To add insult to injury, the individual is so well defended that they have no clue they are that way.  And if they do have a shred of insight into their problems, they are masterful at shifting responsibility and blame their problems on others anyway!

    Advertising

    It is important to note that workplace vampires are not bad people – they are unhealthy and no one really means to be unhealthy.  Such individuals lack insight into themselves and spend more time judging others rather than understanding themselves. Ironically, despite their insensitivity, they are often indignant that they do not feel supported at work and their lack of emotional sensitivity and insight puts them on the defensive.

    Obviously, the humanly tragic plight of a workplace vampire  does not start and stop in the workplace.  Rather, such behavior is an extension of a greater emotional crippling in the fabric of their personalities, and their real victims are themselves.

    So even though the general reaction to the workplace vampire is one of avoidance and anger, remember that no one means to be a workplace vampire. No matter how old they are chronologically, emotionally they are young and stuck in a more emotionally primitive state.  Their own immaturity prevents them from being more positive and “spreading the love.” Keep in mind that workplace vampires are really human – and unhappy humans at that. People who are filled with judgmental and negative thoughts are not happy campers. They are caught in a spiral where problems beget more problems!

    Advertising

    Confident people, on the other hand, are more solution-focused instead of being problem-focused.  They remain positive even in face of adversity, and take responsibility of what they can change rather than focus on what they can’t change. Rather than tending to blame others when things go wrong, they size up a situation and focus on what they can do to make things better. In essence, confident people are more resilient and bounce back better from setbacks at work and in life.  All too often people think that being positive means you follow the mantra “Don’t Worry – Be Happy!”  That is far from the truth.  You can still be positive even if you are expressing dissatisfaction, with the goal to find a solution in hopes that things can get better.  Expressing concerns (and even feelings of upset and anger) with the hope that things can improve is positive – not negative.

    Thus, keep in mind that expressing negative feelings is not vampire-like if the goal is to be an agent of change to make things better. But keep in mind that you must direct change not through complaining. With this type of attitude, you will not only be an agent of change and a role model for resilience to others, you will also increase your own confidence and sense of empowerment no matter what comes your way.

    Improving your own confidence and self awareness will make you more resilient to the workplace vampire and will ensure that you will not get bitten with those fangs and become one yourself!

    Advertising

    (Photo credit: Silhouette of Vampire via Shutterstock)

    More by this author

    Judy Belmont

    Mental health author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist

    11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People Robin Williams’ Death Is A Wake-Up Call: 12 Natural Ways To Fight Depression Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ? 7 Essential Ways That Inspirational Quotes Can Literally Change Your Day … and Your Life!

    Trending in Work

    1 How to Quit Your Job That You Hate and Start Doing What You Love 2 8 Things to Remember When You Don’t Know What to Do with Your Life 3 17 Things You Need to Know to Achieve Career Success at Any Age 4 19 Ways to Improve Creative Thinking Skills in the Workplace 5 Top 10 Online Learning Sites To Advance Communication Skills at Work

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on October 16, 2018

    How to Quit Your Job That You Hate and Start Doing What You Love

    How to Quit Your Job That You Hate and Start Doing What You Love

    Everyone of us has a plan in our head that was taken over by family responsibilities, social pressure or sheep mentality. This made us a slave to instant gratification and started killing our plan and dreams.

    There is a way to revive your plans and dreams and live a happier life. No amount of salary can exceed your desire to do something that you are really passionate about.

    If you hate your job and have thought about leaving your job, here’s how to quit your job and start doing what you love:

    1. Identify if you really want to quit to follow your passion

    There could be many possible reasons to figure out why you are discouraged to go to work and start thinking about how to quitting your job. Figure out the reasons or signs that make you feel that you should really quit your job.

    If these reasons are not related to your office environment or your ultimate goal is to pay your bills from your job, you should consider getting a new job in the same field. It’s better to be an experienced receptionist than to live a dream that is not yours.

    2. Start with the side hustle and keep it going

    Work after you get back home and build up your product or service enough to gain confidence to quit your job.

    Build the website, write down the business plan, design your product, make marketing collaterals or do whatever it takes for you to start working full time on your new venture before quitting your current job.

    You could also consider part-time working opportunities if your current job sucks a lot of your energy. This way you could save your energy and dedicate more time to your side hustle.

    Ensure that you don’t quit until your new venture really demands your full time dedication. You might lose interest in your new venture if you fall short of survival money.

    3. Save enough to pay your bills

    If you need to pursue your passion, you need your monthly bills to be taken care of, without any worries. You must cut down on unnecessary expenses and squeeze in those extra bucks on your savings while you are at your current job. You should forget those weekend parties and social outings unless they’re meant for networking.

    It makes no sense to quit your job without having any savings. Your new venture will not start paying you immediately. Starting a recurring deposit account is a good idea to start off with. Put aside a considerable amount every month as soon as you get your paycheque and forget about that money until you quit your job.

    4. Write down your goals

    It is important to have visual proof and a daily reminder of why you quit your job and started a new hustle.

    Advertising

    Write down your goals and read them at least once a week. If you are a forgetful person, create cell phone or desktop wallpapers of your goals and set them until you achieve them. Visual proof keeps you on track.

    These goals are the bigger picture of what you wish to achieve in your pursuit to doing what you love.

    For example, if you are wish to design the best dresses in the whole state, write it down. If you wish to fly to Mars, write it down. If you really wish to give up your career for something, it better be worth remembering everyday. Show it to yourself daily.

    5. Make a plan

    Write down a plan of action for the next 12 months. It’s like writing down an elaborate execution plan in your calendar. This could be a daily, weekly or monthly to-do list of your tasks to achieve your goals.

    Learn how to make a plan if that’s not your area of expertise. Ensure that you know what you’re going to do next and not run like a headless chicken after two months of working for yourself.

    Review the plan time and again to track your progress. This will give you a clear picture of your performance and your shortcomings.

    Also, have a backup plan. Even great planners and strategists fail before achieving success. Ensure that you have a second plan if your first one does not work out as you predicted.

    6. Get professional advice

    Talk to experienced people in the field you want to venture out. Go to networking events and connect with people in your industry. Most people will help you out with good advice and good contacts.

    Get professional courses in part time colleges. It could be great to network and the teachers can be of great help to understand more about the industry. They will help you analyse your plan and connect you to influential people.

    7. Prepare yourself to put a resignation

    Prepare yourself mentally to quit your job after you’ve realized the potential and prepared yourself to take a deep dive into your new profession.

    Leave on a friendly note. Don’t make enemies with your bosses. These connections could help you further in your profession.

    Don’t burn the bridges. It’s better to have a face-to-face conversation with your boss or reporting manager than sending a surprise mail.

    Advertising

    Tell them sincerely about your new venture and why it is important for you. Serve the notice period completely and work till the last day. Complete all your tasks as you would on a regular day. This will maintain your respect and keep your relationships intact.

    8. Be prepared to get your hands dirty

    As an entrepreneur, you have to do everything that’s needed to keep your work going.

    You have to perform all the tasks needed to keep your new venture going. You have to be a janitor, an administrator, an accountant, a designer or a salesperson all at once.

    There would be a point of time where you will have to perform tasks that aren’t your favourite. Be ready to perform such tasks without cringing.

    9. Have no baggage

    Don’t have a debt! Clear all your loans, debts and pending commitments before starting off. You want to fully concentrate on your new activity and not be bent down by loading your shoulders with any burden.

    You would want to enjoy your freedom to work incessantly. No distractions whatsoever are allowed to come close to you when you are fully involved in the rhythm of development. Shun away materialism!

    10. Don’t be in two minds

    It’s good to analyze the best and the worst possibilities in your head, but it’s not at all good to doubt yourself.

    Move ahead with confidence. It’s your life, your plan and your rules. Nothing and nobody can stop you from doing what you wish to do.

    The more you start getting noticed, the more people will point fingers at you. Don’t let them affect you and create doubts in your head. As William Shakespeare said,

    “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

    11. Learn to handle failure

    You are going to be a loser and it’s a good thing! If you fail and lose, you will learn to not repeat your mistakes and make yourself stronger with every punch you throw out.

    It takes time till you start losing. The key is to not be demotivated by failure. The more the failure, the more closer you are to success.

    Advertising

    12. Try your hands at investing in stock market or cryptocurrency

    It’s a good way to keep your side income rolling in. While you are busy building your dream project, you could invest your money in the stock market or cryptocurrency and let it grow while you sleep.

    As Warren Buffet famously quoted,

    “If you don’t find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die.”

    Find a good stock broker who has enough experience to not lose your money. Stop immediately if you are losing a lot of money. Don’t burn away your money.

    13. Keep a healthy routine

    It’s easy to forget about your health when you are working on something that you’re really passionate about. Set reminders about your health routine.

    Exercise! Most successful people start their day early and take time out to exercise at least thrice a week. It helps you give more energy and time to your work.

    Always remember that you started your new venture to be happier. Bad health will not let you enjoy your success.

    Join yoga classes or learn meditation from youtube. Avoid sitting too long at one place for more than 15 minutes at a stretch, take breaks. take a walk, especially up-down the staircase as much as you can to skip age related joint pains and muscle atrophies.[1]

    14. Enjoy your days off

    Taking a break helps your creativity and clears your mind from clutter. You need your days off to come back afresh and take on your tasks. You can’t be working 24/7.

    Remember that being able to take your days off is one of the beneficial quirks of an entrepreneurial journey. You can have a routine designed by yourself, for yourself.

    Take your days off when you are too stressed and can’t think straight. Self-discipline might sound simple but practice takes ages. Schedule down time for yourself.

    15. Take these steps to quit your job without burning bridges

    Resume.io has this infographic about the steps you should take after you’ve decided to quit your job:[2]

    Advertising

      16. Remember why you quit your job

      Lastly, remember why you quit your job and started doing what you love. There would be bad days that will make you regret your decision, but don’t let them dominate the reason why you took the plunge.

      Your soul wasn’t happy with what you were doing. Your new venture is what you always wanted to do.

      Never forget that.

      If nothing works out, you could still go back to any job you want, but at least, you’d be spared from regrets and constantly arriving “What if?” question in your head.

      So, start now and live without any regrets.

      Execution matters more than thought. Turn your dream into a reality starting today. Start small and grow big.

      Besides, it’s never too late to do what you want to do. Here’s the proof:

      How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

      Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

      Reference

      Read Next