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How to Alleviate Pressure by Making It Work for You

How to Alleviate Pressure by Making It Work for You

Stress kills.

Stress has been indicated as a key factor in heart disease, stroke, and cancer. It breaks up relationships and ruins careers, and ultimately, it seems that the only thing you need to know about stress is this: get away from it.

A lot of people think that stress and pressure are the same thing, so when they feel pressure, they try to do the same thing as when they feel stress: just get away. The thing is, stress and pressure are not the same, and they don’t affect you the same way. How can you tell them apart? It’s simple: if the feeling goes away as you remove yourself from the situation causing it, it was stress. If, as you try to move away, the feeling hunts you down, chases after you, and even gets worse, it’s pressure.

By that measure, pressure sounds far nastier than stress, but pressure can actually be a useful, good sensation. Pressure is a messenger: it’s trying to help you, and has vital information that you can use. Stress is just mean—it just causes pain with no real purpose behind it.

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I Always Loved My Dentist Until…

Dentists get a bad rap: everybody seems to associate them with drills and needles, but I liked my dentist  when I was a kid. Dr. Bauer was friendly and kind and he had an amazingly gentle touch. And, to a boy, the dentist’s office was full of some really cool contraptions. Oooh, and they had Highlights magazine in the waiting room. Yup, it was just a place for adventure.

Of course, I had pretty much only been there to have my teeth cleaned. One day, my best buddy John came around looking all sad, and was in a fair amount of pain too. “What happened to you?” I asked my sad friend.“Oh, I just got back from the dentist. I had to have a tooth pulled.” Hmm, I had all my teeth, so I had no perspective on this. “So how’d it go?” I inquired. “Well, he practically crawled up on my chest to pull that thing.” That didn’t sound good. “But he used anesthetic, right?” I asked hopefully. “Well sure, but it’s not like it helped.” What? Anesthetic didn’t help? This was starting to sound ugly.

“He whipped out these big pair of chromed pliers and started yanking. Then he said to me, ‘John, what you are feeling is not pain (grunt), it’s pressure.’ Let me tell you something, it sure felt like pain to me.”

Of course it did. For what might have seemed like good reasons, John associated that pressure with pain and so pain is what he got.

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I Only Make Associations Because They Are Associated

In that moment, John wasn’t too open to the idea that the association he made between pressure and pain was completely of his own choosing: he went into the experience expecting pain, and so, whatever he felt, it was going to be linked to pain. The good dentist even attempted to decouple the two for him but he would have none of it.

What do you associate with pressure? Pain? Defeat? Depression? Anger? Restriction? I am guessing that your list will look something like that one, with each association more negative than the last. So, let me whisper a little secret in your ear: Cut it out!

You can make any associations you like so let me make the case for making some positive associations, like: learning opportunity; wake-up call; early warning; and protection.

Pressure Is Communication Without Language

Pressure is a feeling. Since it doesn’t come in words, we might not feel it if it’s elevated to the level of reasoned thought. But feelings are thoughts; merely thoughts that are expressed in your body instead of in your mind.

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So when experiencing pressure, you have to be more like a veterinarian than a doctor. My apologies to all the doctors out there but vets have a harder job—they have to do all the same healing work as you do, but their patients can’t tell them what’s wrong. Any decent vet will probably come to the defense of all their doctor friends right now saying, “Oh but my patients do talk to me, just not in words.” Yup, vets are such nice people.

Listen Up

What really matters is that you listen. Pressure is a feeling that’s trying to help you, but it doesn’t have a vocabulary, so it uses the only means available to it. Granted, those means are generally uncomfortable, but you have to admit that they are effective.  Pressure does get your attention. So now what will you do? Brush it off? Run? Argue it down? Instead, give listening a chance.

Just asking the question, “Why am I feeling this pressure right now?” will likely result in an immediate answer. So ask. Then ask if there is more, and don’t stop until you are clear about what the message is. How do you know when to stop asking? Simple: stop when the pressure subsides.

This would be good enough advice if the only result was that your pressure went away, but it does far more for you than that: it now allows you to wield the pressure as a tool that will help to reap fruitful results. We use tools to accomplish work so why not make pressure work for you rather than cause you suffering?

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Have you listened to your own inner pressure? Tell us about it by commenting below.

Featured photo credit:  Young business woman tormented via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

If you’re going to spend 1/3 of our life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you because I was there too. Before implementing the tips below, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

1. Discover the root(s) of the problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

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So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

2. Practice gratitude for an instant uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?[1]

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

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For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

3. Take meaningful time for yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

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No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

4. Get productive and feel accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

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Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The bottom line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

The only question is — which tip will you try first?

Featured photo credit: Ellyot via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Psychology Today: The Healing Power of Gratitude

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