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Are You Having A Scarcity Conversation?

Are You Having A Scarcity Conversation?

money

    With the economy the way it is, lately I’ve heard a lot of comments like, “I want to start a business, but I just can’t afford it right now,” and “I want to invest in learning how to start a business, but I don’t have the money to put into it.”

    This is a legitimate, honest concern, but this kind of thinking could destroy your business dreams and sabotage your success. I’m going to show you how to make a small shift in thinking so you can stop the “scarcity conversation” and start an “investment conversation” that will transform the way you see your finances and your business.

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    “The scarcity conversation,” is a term I picked up from a client, who once said to me, “I’m scared to death because I know in my heart that I should start this business, but I don’t know if I can spend the money to do what I need to do to make it succeed. I’m having a major scarcity conversation with myself.”

    First, I want to tell you that I’ve been there. I had times when I was living paycheck to paycheck, barely getting by, praying nothing would go wrong with the car or the furnace. And once, in a single day, I received $3,000 in bills that I didn’t know how to pay. I’ll never forget those moments of abject fear and panic, wondering where I was going to find that money. I’ll never forget wanting to do things I didn’t think I could afford, needing to buy things and knowing I couldn’t.

    What is a “scarcity conversation,” anyway? A scarcity conversation is the dialogue you have in your head (or sometimes with other people) and you hear any of these words cropping up with regularity: “I can’t afford….” “I don’t know how I’m going to pay for….” “I wish I could ______, but I don’t have the money for that.”

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    Why is a scarcity conversation a problem? If you’ve read my blogs and e-zines, you know that I approach business in a way that’s different from most other startup experts. I have a hybrid approach that brings in all kinds of disciplines, including psychology and personal growth – because I know that your mindset and not just what you’re thinking but how you’re thinking have a massive impact on the level of your success. So the first reason why you want to get out of the scarcity conversation is because it constantly hammers away at the mindset you need to succeed. The scarcity conversation is all about fear. It’s about uncertainty. It’s about self-doubt. And you absolutely must get out of those thinking patterns to be able to make decisions as an entrepreneur, without doubting everything you do.

    The second reason to move out of the scarcity conversation is also mindset-related. The “I can’t afford it” mentality locks you into a way of thinking that you’ll find extremely difficult to get out of, and that becomes a real issue in business.  The “I can’t afford it” type of scarcity conversation has a way of growing and spreading so that it starts applying to anything, even things you need to grow your business. You won’t put your dollars in the right places if you have “I can’t afford it” floating around in your head.

    My company would never have become the success it is today if I hadn’t gotten out of this mindset. I forced myself to stop thinking in terms of scarcity at a time when my business wasn’t growing and I needed help. It would have been the easiest time to let “I don’t have the money for that” become the scarcity conversation in my head, but I took another path. I thought, “What does my business need to grow and thrive?” and that’s when I hired the consultants and attended classes and seminars that made the difference. If I had said, “I can’t afford this,” I’d still be back where I was, when finding $3,000 bills in my mailbox was panic-inducing.

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    The point I’m making is, if you spend your life focusing on what you can’t afford, things won’t change. But if you change your focus, everything will change. If you focus on putting your money- investing it- where it can bring you back the most return, your life, your business, your mindset will transform.

    Instead of having the scarcity conversation, have an investment conversation. And I don’t mean stocks and bonds. I mean a conversation about what you can invest in that will make the difference for you. It’s like that old adage, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” For you, that can be transitioned into “Find a consultant who can give you a fish, and you’ll invest in a nice fish dinner. Invest in a consultant who will show you how to fish, and you’ll be able to feed yourself for a lifetime.” 

    Figure out what classes, workshops and consultants will teach you how to fish – not just give you the fish for now – and invest in what they have to offer. You’ll be making a wise investment that will take you to a place where “I can’t afford it” will be a thing of the past.

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    Incidentally, that client I spoke of at the beginning of this article, the one who said, “I don’t know if I can spend the money to do what I need to do to make it succeed”? She went on to invest in her business. She invested in designing a  business that would work for the lifestyle she wanted, and got trained on how to create a unique brand with a clear target market, how to create and launch new products, how to let the world know she exists, and how to establish herself as an expert. And her business is thriving.  She no longer has the scarcity conversations because she knows now that each time she invests her money in her business, it’s going to come back, multiplied.

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    Last Updated on October 16, 2019

    How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

    How to Bounce Back Gracefully After Getting Fired

    Whether you saw it coming or not, getting fired is a real shock and its impact is daunting. What did you do wrong? What are you supposed to do next? When will you stop feeling so angry?

    But there are ways to deal with a layoff.

    The most important thing is to remain calm and see it as an opportunity to reflect, change and improve. This is a great time to consider what happened, look again at your needs and desires and start afresh on a stronger, more constructive basis.

    Let’s take a look at how you can bounce back gracefully after getting fired.

    1. Deal with the Shock of Getting Fired

    To lose your job is to lose your identity as a worker and as a person. Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, states that 7 out of 10 of us define ourselves by our job titles, since work is where we spend the majority of our time and energy.

    Being laid off affronts your sense of self-worth—it implies that you simply are not good enough. It’s no wonder you feel confused and emotional.

    The first thing, then, is to take some time to digest what happened and deal with the overflow of sensations. People who quickly recover from the pain of a job loss tend to do two things very well:

    First, they accept their feelings of sadness, anger, fear and shame as a part of the natural healing process.

    Second, they do their complaining to a friend.

    Never call out your boss in the office or on social media. It’s a bad form to speak ill of the company you work for. Stay stylish, and your employer will speak better of you when you need a reference.

    2. Stay Away from the Drama Queens

    Mass layoffs are, unfortunately, very common. If this is your situation, then you may be surrounded by a lot of angry people, ruminating and lamenting their fate.

    “It’s not fair!” they say. “After everything we did for this company! We don’t deserve this!”

    You’ve lost your job and that’s tough. But please resist the urge to join in the negativity. Positivity is by far the most important attitude to apply right now. If staying upbeat means you have to limit your exposure to the Negative Nellies, then that’s what you have to do.

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    Remember, life is not harder for you than it is for other people on this planet. You live in a democracy, you have freedom of choice and you enjoy a certain material abundance.

    Stay positive and focus on what’s going well in your life and the exciting future opportunities available to you. Getting fired is only a temporary setback.

    Staying positing could be challenging in a difficult situation, so these tips can help:

    10 Questions To Ask Yourself To Stay Positive When Facing Difficulties

    3. Take a Break and Let the Dust Settle

    Instead of running straight into another job that may not be the right one either, take a short break to recover from the job loss. You need a week or two to de-stress and meditate on the next step.

    Be attentive to your need for self-care during this interlude. Everything goes so fast these days that we often do not stop to think or give ourselves the permission to do a little mourning.

    Getting fired is a big shock: you need time to refocus and take stock of the new reality. Do not make things harder for yourself!

    What you need is to pause a while and do some self reflection:

    How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

    4. Be Anchored in the Present

    Since you no longer have a hold on the past, but have not yet designed your future, try to build yourself up with the present. What do we mean by that?

    We mean that right now is the only time you have any control over. Focus on that instead of losing yourself in memories or reliving the awful day you got fired over and over in your head.

    Get up at 7 a.m. each day, whatever happens. The body needs rhythm and habits. You will feel much more energized if you keep a consistent routine. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, revisit your budget, play sports, volunteer. Take care of the practical stuff like claiming unemployment. Enjoy the small pleasures of everyday life.

    When you’re busy, there’s no room for the inner critic to raise up and derail you. Keep active, and you will gain more of the precious energy you need so much to move forward.

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    Try these things to help you live in the moment:

    34 Ways To Live in the Moment And Grow in the Moment

    5. Understand the “Why”

    There are lots of reasons why people are fired. Sometimes the mistake is yours and it’s embarrassing to admit you backed yourself into this corner.

    Other times, it’s not your fault. Businesses change direction all the time—maybe yours is going through a major transition or merger and your job is disappearing.

    Either way, to give the situation some closure, you need to understand why you were dismissed. What slipped? What could you have done differently? Was your boss really out to get you or did you do something to put your job in jeopardy?

    Be honest with yourself. It’s not easy to admit that you might have dropped the ball but it’s the only way to turn the situation into a learning experience. Ask yourself:

    What skills do you need to improve?

    Is there training you can access, or learning you can do?

    In the end, did this job suit you that much? Were you happy there?

    Reflecting on these questions can help you put things into perspective. What lessons can you learn to avoid reproducing the same pattern in your next job?

    6. Find out If You Were the Right Fit

    Hiring decisions ultimately come down to personality. You can study for an interview all you like, but every candidate who is chosen for interview has the right credentials for the job.

    The final decision comes down to personality. Who does the recruiter like the best? Who is a better fit for the company culture? That’s the person who strikes it lucky.

    Firing decisions are based on personality, too. Slacking off, insubordination and playing fast and loose with the company rules—these are the official reasons why people are getting fired.

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    But all of these reasons boil down to one thing: personality. Specifically, they signal a personality clash between an employee and a manager, or an employee’s fit with the company’s culture.

    Here’s an example:

    Suppose you were fired for “not being a team player.” Some people, namely introverts, lose energy when they are surrounded by other people and gain energy when they are on their own. Forcing an introvert to continuously work on a busy, noisy team without any solitary rest periods means the job is a mission impossible. This employee will never perform at her best.

    Or how about the time the Kansas City Star newspaper fired Walt Disney for a perceived lack of imagination? Talk about a clash of personalities![1]

    Getting fired can be a signal to turn inward and do some self-reflection so you can better understand your personality and how it might fit in with corporate culture.

    In particular, personality assessments based on Isabel Briggs Myers’ sixteen personality types can help you to understand your own work style and how you can find a job and workplace that better match who you truly are.

    In many cases, it is totally liberating to realize that all the crap you had to deal with was just down to a clash of work styles and not something you did wrong!

    7. Rediscover Your Strengths and Talents

    A personality test can also give you clear insights into your strengths, weaknesses, motivations and work potential. Do you have leadership abilities? How do you communicate and manage conflict? What benefits do you add to an organization?

    Identifying your working style should be your top priority right now, otherwise you risk accepting a new position that has all the same problems as before. The last thing you want is to reproduce the same old dramas the next time around.

    When you become aware of your potential, you will have the confidence to search and find the type of work you love.

    For example, getting fired from your banking job may have knocked you sideways. But you have some stellar home decorating skills, and a personality test shows that you are curious, flexible, rational and resilient—all the traits of successful entrepreneurs. Maybe this dismissal is an opportunity to launch the business you’ve always dreamed of but never dared to admit to yourself?

    By considering all your special skills and talents, you increase your chances of finding a job you would really enjoy, and not just the one you can do.

    8. Get the Word Out

    At this point, you should be ready to take action and move forward with your job search. Let’s not sugarcoat the situation: getting a new job is tough. It helps to have a clear idea of the direction you want to go in, a list of all your crossover skills and a freshly polished resume.

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    Look around for inspiration. Talk to recruiters in your sector to establish what they consider to be your most valuable skills. Use all the resources at your disposal: job search agencies, headhunters, work coaches, careers websites and so on. These resources can help you match your qualifications to the job requirements and ensure you have the right keywords on your resume.

    Don’t hold back on marshaling your networks. Put friends and family to work to pop up leads, and don’t be afraid to ask for referrals. Sometimes the simple act of getting the word out to the people who know you is the surest way to find work fast.

    9. Anticipate Questions and Know How to Answer Them

    Even if it wasn’t your fault, getting fired can hurt you if you don’t know how to explain why you were let go. You have to be honest here and tell recruiters the truth. Even if a would-be employer does not specifically ask why you left your previous job, it is better to clarify the situation upfront before it comes out in your references.

    The best approach is to take your share of responsibility and show that you want to go forward and that you understand the lesson.

    For example, suppose you got fired for asking the difficult questions that no one wanted to answer and your candidness set people on edge. Acknowledge that some people perceive your communication style as abrupt and explain how you’re taking steps to increase your diplomacy skills.

    A recruiter can be seduced by someone who knows how to evolve and who shows a great energy for personal development.

    10. Adapt and Persist

    Throughout this journey, you inevitably will go through moments of self-doubt and disappointment. There are undulations in every road, and these are the normal steps for regaining self-confidence after getting fired.

    Stay tough! Don’t conclude that your future is hopeless just because the dream job doesn’t land straightaway. You open a positive path when you maintain focus. Have the confidence to know that the perfect job for you is out there.

    Remember, you are not alone. Many people walked this road and they would urge you to keep the momentum. Stay open-minded and go where the opportunities take you: it will bring you closer to the job you really want.

    Coming Out on Top

    While getting fired isn’t the ideal situation, it isn’t the end of the world either. Even if feels like a doozy right now, you will get through it and emerge happier on the other side.

    Be clear on what you want, have courage and believe in yourself. In the end, you may decide that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to you. It can be the catalyst for a powerful, career-fulfilling change.

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    Featured photo credit: Jesus Kiteque via unsplash.com

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