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Are You a Youthful Optimist or a Learned Pessimist?

Are You a Youthful Optimist or a Learned Pessimist?

Is the glass half empty or half full?

    There’s no question that the school of hard knocks can be, well, hard.

    When life becomes tough, many of us stop chasing our dreams and retreat under a big ugly flannel security blanket. Let’s face it: we’re terrified of failure.

    We’re afraid that we might not succeed, that our dreams are only pipe-dreams, that “reality” has to be hard because it is for every body else.

    Though we enter the world with a sense of youthful optimism: excitement about opportunity, a willingness to risk it all, and a belief that everything will turn out our way (In one survey, 96% of 18-24 year-olds agreed with the statement, “I am very sure that someday I will get to where I want to be in life”).*

    This is the time in life when we think that we can change rule the world.

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    And…then at least one of two things happens:

    1. You fail at something on your first, second, and/or third try.
    2. You spend too much time around uninspired people who view the world as a competitive place full of struggles, competition, and tears.

    And…after a few years, when you haven’t miraculously reached your dreams, you start to get discouraged. You start thinking:

    “Maybe they’re right.”

    “Maybe I’m just being a lazy optimist. I should settle down and do what is expected of me.”

    You do what you think is called, “growing up”.

    I won’t sugar coat it, you’re becoming a coward.

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    In his book, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, Harvard psychology professor Tal Ben-Shahar writes:

    “When we fail to attain a desire outcome, we often extrapolate from that experience the belief that we have no control over our lives or over certain parts of it. Such thinking leads to despair.”

    Thus, overcoming this feeling of defeat is your ultimate goal.

    To do so, you need one thing…and one thing only: Perseverance.

    Here’s a true story about how this plays out in the real world…

    When she was a child, my grandma knew that she wanted to become a chemist. She was of the first generation of an Italian immigrant family living in the Bronx. Her father died when she was two-years-old. Her mother wanted her to become a piano teacher.

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    In order to beat the odds, she had to work odd jobs for mean nuns, graduate high school at 16, and endure constant questioning from her mother: “when will you stop all of this nonsense?”

    It was not okay for a woman to become a chemist, and the world tried to make sure that she knew it.

    But instead of giving up, she persevered.

    Instead of hanging around people who didn’t support her, she surrounded her self with likeminded scientists (like my grandfather, whom she met at Columba while earning their PhDs).

    Her story inspires me every time I hear it.

    The thing is, my grandmother never made excuses.

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    Some of the excuses we tell ourselves are:

    1. I don’t know anyone who has done it before/ too many people are already trying.
    2. I don’t have enough (money, power, skills, education, time)
    3. If I was going to do it, I would have done it already.
    4. I have too many responsibilities.
    5. I am too old or young.
    6. I will never be the best. Too many people are ahead of me.
    7. It’s not the right time.

    But, what if we simply rephrased these excuses into empowering beliefs?

    1. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing, this is my dream.
    2. I have more than enough resources to get started.
    3. There’s no time like the present!
    4. My number one priority is living passionately.
    5. My age gives me a unique perspective, and is only a number.
    6. There will always be someone to learn from.
    7. It will never be perfect, so I might as well stop stalling and start now.

    Can I get a “hellz yeah” for youthful optimism?

    Look, I’m not saying that you should ignore the lessons that you’ve learned from your experiences. You’ve earned those. Instead, my suggestion is to learn learn to perfect your skills and become an even better person without losing that inspired-to-be-alive feeling.

    Think you can do it?

    I know you can.

    Take action right now to write down the empowering phrases that will benefit you the most and put them somewhere where you will see them every day.

    *Survey mentioned comes from Horbblower, M. (1997, June 9). Great Xpectations. Time, pp. 58-68.

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    Last Updated on June 26, 2019

    10 Things You Should Do If You’re Unemployed

    10 Things You Should Do If You’re Unemployed

    Regardless of your background, times today are tough. Uneven economies around the world have made it incredibly difficult for many people to find work.

    Regardless of age and qualification, stretches of unemployment have affected us all in recent years. While we might not be able to control being unemployed, we can control how we react to it.

    Despite difficult conditions, there are many ways to grow and stay hopeful. Whether you’re looking for work, or just taking a breather between assignments, these 10 endeavors will keep you busy and productive. Plus, some may even help push your resume to the top of the next pile.

    Here’re 10 things you should do when you’re unemployed:

    1. Keep a Schedule

    It’s fine to take a few days after you’re finished at work to relax, but try not to get too comfortable.

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    As welcoming as permanently moving into your sweatpants may seem, keeping a schedule is one way to stay productive and focused. While unemployed, if you continue to start your day early, you are more likely to get more done. Also, keeping up with day to day tasks makes you less likely to grow depressed or inactive.

    2. Join a Temp Agency

    One of the easiest ways to bridge the gap between jobs is to find temporary work, or work with a temp agency. While many unemployed people job hunt religiously, rememberer to include temp agencies in the search.

    While not a permanent solution, you will be in a better position financially while you search for something permanent.

    3. Work Online

    Another great option if you’re unemployed is online work. Many different sites offer a variety of ways to make money online, but make sure the site you’re working for is reputable.

    Micro job sites such as fiverr, as well as sites that pay for you to take surveys, are all quick, legitimate options. While these sites sometimes offer lower pay, it’s always better to move forward slowly than not at all.

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    4. Get Organized

    Unemployment is an excellent opportunity to get organized. Embark on some spring cleaning, go through old boxes, and get rid of the things you don’t need. Streamlining your life will help you dive head first into the next chapter, plus it helps you feel like your unemployed time is spent productively.

    5. Exercise

    Much like organizing your life, another good way to keep yourself enthusiastic and healthy is to exercise. It doesn’t take much to get slightly more active, and exercise can help you stay positive. Even a walk around the block a few times a week can do a lot for keeping you motivated and determined. If you take care of yourself, you can make the most of this extra time.

    6. Volunteer

    Volunteering is an excellent way to use extra time when you’re unemployed. Additionally, if you volunteer in an area related to your job qualifications, you can often include the experience on your resume.

    Not only that, doing good is a true mood booster and is sure to help you stay optimistic while looking for your next job.

    7. Increase Your Skills

    Looking for ways to increase your job skills while unemployed is a good way to move forward as well. Look for certifications or training you could take, especially those offered for free.

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    You can qualify more for even entry level positions with extra training in your line of work, and many cities or states offer job skills training. Refreshing your resume, and interview and job skills may make your job hunt easier.

    8. Treat Yourself

    Unemployment can be trying and tiring, so don’t forget to treat yourself occasionally. Take a reasonable amount of time off from your weekly job hunt to recharge and rest up. Letting yourself rest will maximize your productivity during the hours you job search.

    Even if you don’t have extra money for entertainment, a walk or visit to the park can do wonders to help you go back and attack your job hunt.

    9. See What You Can Sell

    Another good way to bridge the gap between jobs is to sell unused possessions. eBay and Amazon are both secure sites, but traditional garage sales are a fine option too. Sell off a few video games, or some electronics, for some quick and easy cash while you figure out a permanent solution.

    10. Take a Course

    Much like training and certifications, taking a class can be a good way to keep yourself sharp while unemployed. Especially when you’re between jobs, it can be easy to forget this option, as most courses cost money. Don’t forget the mass of free educational tools online.

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    Keeping your brain sharp can help you stay focused and may even help you learn some new, relevant job skills.

    The Bottom Line

    While unemployment numbers are still high, there are many things you can do to better yourself and move forward. While new skills to aid your job hung might seem out of reach, there are plenty of free ways to get ahead, online and off.

    Additionally, don’t forget that taking time for yourself can do wonders for keeping you productive in your job hunt. While it is a challenge, don’t give up–being unemployed can offer you extra time to better yourself, and possibly grow more qualified to find work.

    Featured photo credit: Resume – Glasses/Flazingo Photos via flickr.com

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