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Why I’m Trying to Become a Quitter

Why I’m Trying to Become a Quitter

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    I’m one of those people who’s terrible at saying no. I take on too many projects at once, and spend too much of my time doing things I’d rather not be. I get stuff done, but it’s not always the best I can do, or the best way I can spend my time.

    That’s why my newest goal, both as a professional and a person, is to be a quitter.

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    Being a quitter isn’t being someone who gives up, who doesn’t see important things through to the end. I aspire to be the opposite of those things, and think we all should. The quitter I want to be is someone who gets out when there’s no value to be added, or when that value comes at the expense of something more important.

    I want to quit doing things that I’m asked to do, for no other reason than I’m asked to do it. I want to be able to quit something in mid-stream, because I realize there’s nothing good coming from it.

    A friend of mine once told me that “I knew I was an adult when I could stop reading a book, even after getting 500 pages into it.” Odd though it sounds, we all tend to do this. We get involved in something, realize we don’t want to be a part of it, but keep trucking through. We say “well, I’ve already invested so much time in this, I might as well stick it out.”

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    I propose the opposite: quit as often as possible, regardless of project status or time invested. If you’re reading a book, and don’t like it, stop reading. Cut your losses, realize that the smartest thing to do is stop before your losses grow even more, and quit. If you’re working on a project at work that isn’t going anywhere, but you’ve already invested tons of time on it, quit. Take the time gained by quitting the pointless project, and put it toward something of value. Instead of reading an entire book you hate, read 1/2 a bad one and 1/2 a good one. Isn’t that a better use of your time?

    If you’re stuck doing something, and don’t really want to do it anymore, step back for a second. Ask if you really have to do this, and what value is being produced from your doing it. Don’t think about the time you’ve put into it, or how much it’s taken over your life. If you don’t want to do it, and don’t have to do it, don’t do it.

    By quitting these things, you’ll free up time to do things that actually do create value, for yourself and for others. You’ll have time to read all the great books out there, or at least a couple more. You’ll be able to begin to put your time and effort into the things you’d actually like to do.

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    Let’s try it together: what are the things you’re doing, that you’re only doing because you’ve been doing them for so long? Quit. Don’t let time spent dictate time you will spend. Let’s learn how to say “no” at the beginning, or in the middle, and free up more of our time to do the things we’d like to be doing, and the things actually worth doing.

    Saying no is hard, and admitting a mistaken yes is even harder. But if we do both, we’ll start to make sure that we’re spending our time creating value, rather than aggravating our losses. Let’s be quitters together.

    What do you think? What in your life can you quit?

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    Photo: windy_sydney

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    Published on July 22, 2019

    The Secret to Success Is Failure

    The Secret to Success Is Failure

    You see a job that you’d love to do; and, you decide to go for it.

    You submit your application, and then are pleased to find a few days later that you’re invited for an interview. This goes well, and you begin to have quiet optimism that a job offer will be coming your way soon…

    It doesn’t.

    Instead, you receive a letter saying thank you — but, they’ve decided to go with another candidate.

    At this point, you could allow yourself to feel defeated, sad, and perhaps even a little angry. These are normal responses to bad news. Yet, it’s not wise to let them fester and disrupt your goals. Successful people don’t let failures kill their dreams.

    Sure, they might temporarily feel deflated. But, very quickly, they pick themselves back up again and begin planning their next steps towards success.

    How about you? Do you currently feel embarrassed or guilty about failing?

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    Don’t worry if you do, as most of us have been programmed since childhood to see failure as a bad thing. Yet, as I’m going to show you in the next few minutes, this programming is dead wrong — failure is actually an essential part of success.

    Don’t Be Tempted by Perfection

    The first thing I want you to think about is this:

    Resisting failure is, at its core, seeking perfection. And, perfection doesn’t exist.

    That’s why perfectionists are also likely to be chronic procrastinators.

    As Psychology Today noted in their article Pitfalls of Perfectionism, people who constantly seek for perfection stop themselves from engaging in challenging experiences.[1] That’s because these perfectionists are less creative and innovative than the average person — plus they’re less likely to take risks. Add these factors together, and you have someone who is overly focused on their own performance and is always quick to defend themselves. Unfortunately, these traits prevent them from having the necessary focus when it comes to learning new tasks.

    Let me be clear: Striving for perfection is not the same as striving for excellence.

    The former is a fool’s quest for the unattainable; while the latter is really just about doing our very best (which we can all obtain).

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    And, there’s another problem that perfectionists have to deal with. Namely, when they fail to reach their ideal, they feel dejected and defeated. And — as you can imagine — repeat this often enough, and these people can end up feeling bitter and depressed about their lives.

    So, forget about seeking perfection, and instead, focus on always doing your very best.

    Why Failure Is Good

    I recently came across a Forbes article Failing Your Way To Success: Why Failure Is A Crucial Ingredient For Success[2] that helped explain why most people are opposed to failure.

    The article referenced the work of two world-renowned psychologists (Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky), who were awarded a Nobel Prize for their work. They discovered something very interesting: the effect of a loss is twice as great as the gain from a win.

    Have you ever thought about that before?

    What it means is that failure has a far greater negative impact on us than the positive impact of an equivalent win. It’s no wonder then that most people are afraid to fail.

    And, here’s where it gets interesting…

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    Amazon (which along with Apple, Facebook and Google, is considered one of the Big Four technology companies) has a culture that is tolerant of failure. And Jeff Bezos — Amazon’s founder and CEO — believes that this culture is one of the main reasons for the company’s big achievements over the last 25 years. In a letter to shareholders, he said:

    “Failure comes part and parcel with invention. It’s not optional. We understand that and believe in failing early and iterating until we get it right.” 

    The truth is, failure can open up a world of exciting opportunities for you.

    How does it do this?

    By constantly showing you new avenues to travel on. And, by helping you learn from your mistakes — so you can be better next time around. It also helps you identify what’s not working for your life, and what is.

    So instead of seeing something as detrimental to success, you should see it as a tool FOR success. A tool that will help you to continually refine your journey in life.

    If you still need some convincing that the secret to success is failure, then take a look at the following excerpts from our article 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On:

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    • J.K. Rowling encountered a catalog of failures shortly after graduating from college, including: being jobless, the breakdown of her marriage, and living as a lone parent. However, instead of giving up on life, she used these failures to propel her to write the Harry Potter fantasy series — the best-selling book series in history.

    • Walt Disney didn’t have an easy start either. He dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt to join the army. Later, one of his early business ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt. He was also fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.” (Yes, you read that correctly.) Was he defeated by these failures? Just ask Mickey Mouse.

    • Michael Jordan had this to say about the power of failure: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

    Embrace Failure, and Prepare for Success

    I hope this has been an eye-opener for you.

    Failure has long been branded a leper; but in reality, it’s a healthy, essential component of success.

    The trick of course is to develop the mindset of a winner. Someone who sees failures as stepping stones to success — and defeats as important learning experiences.

    So, are you ready to embrace your failures and take the proud road to success?

    I sincerely hope so.

    Featured photo credit: Bruce Mars via unsplash.com

    Reference

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