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Why Having a Baby is the Best Thing That Can Happen to Your Productivity

Why Having a Baby is the Best Thing That Can Happen to Your Productivity


    It happened again.

    You thought you could work at home on your personal projects, when all of a sudden your newborn baby starts to cry. You and your child’s mother rush to nurture the baby and finally she settles down. Even though things cool down for now, you are still very tired because of the many wake-ups you had last night – all caused by your hungry baby.

    All of this makes you worried. Even though you love your new family member a lot, these constant interruptions of your work, sleep and productivity is stressing you out. You have a ton to do in the coming months, but you start to wonder if you will even be able to get anything done.

    To make things even more challenging, you don’t have the luxury of working on your projects full-time because you have a day job and you also want to spend time with your family.

    It’s no wonder that you are frustrated, tired and stressed in this situation.

    New and wonderful life

    Let’s face it: The lack of productivity and tiredness caused in this scenario is from your newborn baby.

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    She doesn’t live by the same schedules as parents – your baby lives in the moment and lets parents know if something is not right: Maybe it’s too hot, maybe it’s too cold, maybe she likes to be nurtured, maybe they are hungry …

    There is so much going on in your baby’s life and the only way to communicate her feelings is to cry (at least in the very beginning).

    One part of your frustration is just that – the communication and the lack of words. Sometimes when your baby is crying, you have to guess what is going on: Could it be hunger? Do the baby need to be nurtured?

    To make things even more confusing, a baby’s irregular sleeping habits can drive parents crazy in the beginning. Constant wake-ups are a reality in most cases and you wake up tired when the alarm clock rings. Yet, you must go to work so that you can earn living for your family.

    It’s no wonder that at times things look pretty chaotic – take it from me…I have been there! Living with a new dynamic new family member causes you to rethink your own priorities and re-evaluate your plans.

    Bite your lip and deal with it!

    Tiredness, frustration and lack of productivity are the symptoms in this situation, but the real reason behind all the symptoms are the false expectations towards parenthood and living with a new family member.

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    Especially if this baby was your first one, there were so many things that changed in your life at once. And even with some mental preparation in advance, this change may seem too big to handle at times.

    False expectations can even emphasize the effects of the symptoms. In fact, your attitude will play a big role on how you handle everyday stress when you have a baby in your home.

    It’s also your attitude that defines whether you decide to find ways to deal with the situation or whether you keep on complaining and become more frustrated.

    From chaos to control, from frustration to appreciation

    No matter if you are tired, no matter if you frustrated, no matter if you are confused, there is one thing that can change all of this: understanding – getting the big picture.

    I can hear you saying, “Okay, so I can make myself productive, erase my sleep debt and feel happy just by understanding the situation? No, I don’t think so!”

    Here is the thing: when you go through these mixed feelings, do you really understand the whole picture of parenthood?

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    Sure, it’s not nice when you aren’t getting stuff done and things aren’t going as planned, but hey – that’s what being a parent (and especially with a newborn baby) is all about!

    No one said that it’s going to be dancing on roses. Instead, it’s a lot of work required from both of the parents!

    And what about the big picture then? Well, it’s interruptions, it’s distractions, it’s supporting your spouse, it’s changing diapers, and it’s doing a lot of extra work. That’s the reality and that’s the name of the game.

    Once you understand that this is part of parenthood, you start to change your attitude and that makes handling the everyday frustrations easier.

    Besides, do you think that you are alone in this situation? Nope, there are millions of confused and stressed parents around the globe – not just you and your spouse!

    When you change your attitudes a bit, you also start to realize that even if you have less time at your disposal, you are finding more creative ways of getting things done. In fact, you start to appreciate even the smallest moments that you have for your work.

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    Finally, when you know that your daily routine may change all of a sudden because of your baby, learn to plan your days the night before. When you know your tasks in advance, this helps you to take action as soon as you have even a tiny time pocket available.

    While having a baby will decrease the amount of your overall free time, you’ll start to focus on things that really matter and get rid of secondary stuff. In fact, you come to the realization that having a baby is the best thing that ever happened to your productivity!

    How I do it

    To describe how I – a part-time work-at-home dad – get stuff done with a baby in our home, here are the steps I have taken and practice on a daily basis:

    1. Attitude and appreciation. I’m listing this first, since this is the foundation for your productivity. Once you understand what parenthood is (especially with a newborn baby), you start to tolerate those interruptions and unfinished task lists better. Also remember, if you are in a regular routine right now, it will most likely change at some point. For example, in the beginning me and my wife were tired because of constant wake-ups during the night. Things are now much better and we can pretty much sleep our nights without interruptions.
    2. Working times. Notice the daily rhythm of your child. For instance, I know approximately at what time my son goes to sleep in the evening, when he takes a nap and when he wakes up. Based on this knowledge, I try to get my work done during those times. Also, be aware that the rhythm will change – at least in the beginning – and adjust your working time according to them.
    3. Focus on things that matter. The biggest productivity benefit I’ve experienced from having a baby is that I’m no longer doing secondary stuff that doesn’t take me closer to my goals. In fact, I’m super-focused and doing only the important work that matters.
    4. Plan your day. Plan your day the night before. Write down the most important tasks that you want to get done and keep that list of things in your head all the times. Put emphasis on those tasks which take closer to your goals. Being a parent requires flexibility, so don’t always expect to get everything done every day. If a hectic day like that occurs, then continue working on the task the next day.
    5. Hire some help. When it comes to online business related matters, one of the best decisions I have made was to hire a coach. This helped me to reduce the non-important work and put the focus on things that helped me to reach my ultimate goal. Another thing that helped was to outsource small tasks as much as possible. This was yet another way to lighten the workload. Remember, not only is the outsourcing limited to just your business tasks – it can be done on a household level too: cleaning, cooking, babysitting, taking care of the lawn …
    6. Spot the time pockets. Finally, to get work done, recognize those small time pockets that exist every day. Remember when I told you to keep your task list in your head during step #4? Well, this is the reason why. When you spot a time pocket (for e.g your kid is a sleeping), you can work on your own stuff during that time. When you know what your next action will be, you don’t have to figure out what to do next. Instead, you can start working on it without any additional pondering, thus not losing valuable time.

    Conclusion

    Don’t let the frustration and confusion get to you – especially if you are having your first baby. In most cases, your attitude and mindset have to change as well. Also, to get work done – even with a limited amount of available time – doing some planning as well as hiring some external help will do wonders for your productivity.

    Remember, it’s your baby that helps you stay focused on the right things.

    (Photo credit: Cute Baby Reading via Shutterstock)

    More by this author

    Timo Kiander

    Productivity Author and Founder of Productive Superdad

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    Last Updated on October 16, 2019

    Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

    Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

    Do you like making mistakes?

    I certainly don’t.

    Making mistakes is inevitable. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be at ease with them?

    Perhaps there is a way to think of them differently and see their benefits.

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    Why Mistakes Feel Dangerous

    Mistakes often feel dangerous. Throughout human history, our errors have often been treated as dangerous for a variety of reasons:

    • Our vulnerability. We have limited and fragile support systems. When those systems fail, people often lose their lives.
    • Real dangers. Nature can be dangerous, and making mistakes can put us at the mercy of nature and its animal residents seeking a meal.
    • Ignorance. Many cultures scapegoats someone whenever there is a failure of some kind. Scapegoating can be serious and deadly.
    • Order. Many societies punish those who do not conform to the prevailing orthodoxy and treat difference and non-conformity as a mistake. Even our brains flash an error message whenever we go against prevailing social norms.

    We have a history of handling mistakes and failure in an unpleasant way. Since each of us carries our human history with us, it can be a challenge to overcome the fear of making mistakes.

    If we can embrace the reality of mistakes, we can free ourselves to be more creative in our lives and dig up some interesting insights.

    Why We Can’t Avoid Making Mistakes

    Many people operate under the notion that making mistakes is an aberration, a mistake if you will. You can call it perfectionism but it is a more substantial problem. It is really a demand for order and continuity.

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    When we think we can eliminate mistakes, we are often working from a perspective that sees the world as a fixed place. The world, however, is not so obliging. Like it or not, the world, and everything in it, is constantly changing.

    Change is more constant and pervasive than we can see with our own eyes which is why we often miss it. Our bodies are constantly changing. The natural conditions of the earth change constantly as well. Everything, including economic and cultural systems have life cycles. Everything is in a constant state of flux.

    We cannot see all of the changes going on around us since rates of change vary. Unfortunately, when we try to create a feeling of certainty and solidity in our lives or operate from the illusion of stability and order, we are fighting reality and our natural evolution which is built on adapting to change.

    It is better to continually bend into this reality rather than fight every change we experience. Fighting it can cause us to make more mistakes. Finding the benefits in change can be useful and help us minimize unnecessary mistakes.

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    Lessons Learned from Making Mistakes

    Life has so many uncertainties and variables that mistakes are inevitable. Fortunately, there are many things you can learn from making mistakes.

    Here is a list of ways to harness the mistakes you make for your benefit.

    1. Point us to something we did not know.
    2. Reveal a nuance we missed.
    3. Deepen our knowledge.
    4. Tell us something about our skill levels.
    5. Help us see what matters and what does not.
    6. Inform us more about our values.
    7. Teach us more about others.
    8. Let us recognize changing circumstances.
    9. Show us when someone else has changed.
    10. Keep us connected to what works and what doesn’t work.
    11. Remind us of our humanity.
    12. Spur us to want to better work which helps us all.
    13. Promote compassion for ourselves and others.
    14. Teach us to value forgiveness.
    15. Help us to pace ourselves better.
    16. Invite us to better choices.
    17. Can teach us how to experiment.
    18. Can reveal a new insight.
    19. Can suggest new options we had not considered.
    20. Can serve as a warning.
    21. Show us hidden fault lines in our lives which can lead us to more productive arrangements.
    22. Point out structural problems in our lives.
    23. Prompt us to learn more about ourselves.
    24. Remind us how we are like others.
    25. Make us more humble.
    26. Help us rectify injustices in our lives.
    27. Show us where to create more balance in our lives.
    28. Tell us when the time to move on has occurred.
    29. Reveal where our passion is and where it is not.
    30. Expose our true feelings.
    31. Bring out problems in a relationship.
    32. Can be a red flag for our misjudgments.
    33. Point us in a more creative direction.
    34. Show us when we are not listening.
    35. Wake us up to our authentic selves.
    36. Can create distance with someone else.
    37. Slow us down when we need to.
    38. Can hasten change.
    39. Reveal our blind spots.
    40. Are the invisible made visible.

    Reframe Reality to Handle Mistakes More Easily

    The secret to handling mistakes is to:

    • Expect them as part of the process of growth and development.
    • Have an experimental mindset.
    • Think in evolutional rather than fixed terms.

    When we accept change as the natural structure of the world, our vulnerability and humanness lets us work with the ebb and flow of life.

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    When we recognize the inevitability of mistakes as part of the ongoing experiment which life is, then we can relax more. In doing so we may make fewer of them.

    It also helps to keep in mind that trial and error is an organic natural way of living. It is how we have evolved over time. It is better to be with our natural evolution than to fight it and make life harder.

    When we adopt an evolutional mindset and see ourselves as part of the ongoing human experiment, we can appreciate that all that has been built up over time which includes the many mistakes our ancestors have made over thousands of years. Each one of us today is a part of that human tradition of learning and experimenting,

    Mistakes are part of the trial and error, experimental nature of life. The more you adopt the experimental, evolutional frame, the easier it becomes to handle mistakes.

    Handling mistakes well can help you relax and enjoy all aspects of life more.

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    Featured photo credit: Sarah Kilian via unsplash.com

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