Advertising

Using NAKED to Get What You Want

Advertising
Using NAKED to Get What You Want


    We all have goals, ambitions, and desires.

    In other words, we all want things.

    Maybe we want them for ourselves, maybe we want them for our loved ones, and maybe we want them for our society, or the entire world.

    Whatever it happens to be, we all want something.

    And usually, we need other people to help us or cooperate with us in order to get those things.

    The question is, how do we get them to help out? How do we get them to stop what they’re doing, care about what we’re describing, and get what you want?

    Get What You Want: The Naked Truth

    Hardly anyone will help you just for the sake of helping you; there needs to be something in it for them.

    Advertising

    This isn’t wrong, and it isn’t unkind, it’s just human nature. Strangers don’t typically help strangers unless there’s a benefit to be had.

    That benefit could be an outcome that they desire, information or knowledge they want, or they could have some kind of personal interest in your success.

    There are occasional altruistic, kind-hearted exceptions, but for the most part, getting someone to take an action that you want them to take can be a challenge. The thing is, though, that there are many occasions when we need to do it; from shopping, to our social lives, with our families, and with our businesses.

    Does this sound a little sleazy to you?

    Well, it certainly can be, but it doesn’t have to be, and really, it SHOULDN’T be.

    So before I get into the nitty gritty of how to convince people that they want what you want, let’s talk a little bit about how NOT to do it…

    Not About Pick-up Artistry or Manipulation

    If you got the impression that you have to trick people into thinking that they want what you want, you got it wrong.

    This is a common misconception in the world of pick-up artistry – pick up artists help people justify doing things that they feel like, but don’t really want, and will probably regret in the morning.

    Advertising

    This is completely unsustainable in the context of any serious relationship. We’ve all that that friend who always had their hand out – for your time, your advice, even your money, and never returned the favor, or even made any pretense of doing so! It may take a while, but sooner or later you’re going to cut that friend loose!

    You’ve had that experience, haven’t you? Maybe not just with a friend, but in another context?

    We’ll use the example of a purchase (to avoid dredging up last Thanksgiving’s family theater!):

    Think about a time when you hemmed and hawed and finally bought something, maybe against your better judgment, and then learned that it was really, really a mistake. When you went to the snake-oil salesman who convinced you to buy in the first place – they barely took the time to listen to you.

    Did you feel alienated? Angry? Disgusted? Hurt?

    The same feelings crop up, albeit sometimes more slowly and under the radar in less formal relationships; maybe the Homer Simpson-esque neighbor who forever borrows your lawn mower, but lets his dog do its business on your front yard. Someone who uses and takes advantage of the people in their lives is a swindler, the same way the snake-oil salesman and the pick-up artist are.

    No one wants to help a swindler, and you’ll find yourself going it alone sooner than you’d imagine if you manipulate and abuse people.

    All About Seduction and Persuasion

    Seduction and persuasion are a dance – they happen when two people arrive together at a common goal.

    Advertising

    If you want to seduce and persuade, you have to understand why something is good for you, but also why it’s good for them.

    And I’m not talking in terms of the warm fuzzies someone will get from helping you out (although never underestimate the power of a warm fuzzy); I’m talking about the real, solid benefits a person can get from being able to align their wants and needs with yours. There are several steps to powerful persuasion:

    • Spending time developing a relationship with people first.
    • Listening to what they say and responding honestly.
    • Backing off when you’re goals aren’t aligned – with no hard feelings.
    • And once you get what you want, whether it’s a ride to the mall or a donation to your charity, you take the time to thank the person who helped you.

    You see, seduction and persuasion aren’t always bad – they can be fantastic when the process is transparent. Seduction, when employed correctly, is a pleasure for all parties involved.  Persuasion is the same – it’s the method by which you encourage someone to make a decision that will be good for you both.

    Sexy to You isn’t Sexy to Me!

    What’s sexy and seductive to me, after all, may not be what’s sexy and seductive to you. People respond to different things – that’s what makes the world such a wonderful, fascinating place, and part of what makes human relationships so exciting and rewarding.

    There are “best practices” to be sure: honesty, listening, empathy, etc. — but there is no one best way to engage in the dance of seduction and persuasion.

    The first step in starting the dance of seductive persuasion is getting to know the person you want something from – what makes them tick, what they need and what they value.

    In business, you do this by creating a comprehensive customer profile – a crib sheet on the heart of your ideal customer. Once you know what makes that person tick, you can use the information to give them what they want, when they want it.

    In life, in your relationships, it’s more subtle. You have to spend time thinking about what motivates the person you want something from.

    Advertising

    If you’re looking for donations to a food bank, you might appeal to a neighbor’s sense of civic duty. You know they have one because they run the flag up every day, make a point of being polite and friendly to passersby, and scrupulously bring out the recycling on the appointed day at the appointed hour.

    Every person has different things that motivate them, and if you take the time to figure out what those things are, and then frame your request in that light, your chances of success are much, much higher.

    And the person you wanted something from will be likely to thank you for the opportunity.

    Now that doesn’t sound too sleazy, does it?

    I’ve done my best to compile this idea into a framework, in a way that is both fun and informative. I call it the Naked Marketing Manifesto, and it will help you identify those motivators in the people you deal with, and then tailor your activities with them so that you end up with happy, loyal, long-term relationships – and not broke and alone and despised by everyone you used to be friends with.

    (Photo credit: Truth Road Sign via Shutterstock)

    Danny Iny (@DannyIny) is the co-founder of Firepole Marketing, the “Freddy Krueger of Blogging”, and the co-author (with Guy Kawasaki, Brian Clark, and many others) of Engagement from Scratch! (available on Amazon, or as a free download). The latest and greatest thing you can get from him (for free, of course) is his Naked Marketing Manifesto, about marketing that really works!

    More by this author

    Super-Efficient Writing: How I Consistently Write Over 1,000 High-Quality Words in Less Than 60 Minutes The Absolute WORST Day to Take a Vacation (It’s Not When You Think!) Using NAKED to Get What You Want What’s Your Brand of Courage? The “What’s Up Doc?” Way of Getting Productive

    Trending in Productivity

    1 20 Essential Apps And Websites For Digital Nomads 2 20 Online and App Resources to Help You Boost and Improve Productivity 3 Does the Pomodoro Technique Work for Your Productivity? 4 Eat the Frogs First – A Guide to Prioritizing 5 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on November 25, 2021

    20 Essential Apps And Websites For Digital Nomads

    Advertising
    20 Essential Apps And Websites For Digital Nomads

    Living a life of perpetual travel is pretty exciting – new destinations, new cultures and new incredible people to meet and hang out with! However, working on the road can get pretty hectic at times. As a digital nomad I have found myself in rather awkward situations a lot – from missed deadlines due to incorrect time zone conversion to a nearly missed plane when I forgot to print out my booking and confused the time (I did catch that plane though!).

    Being your own boss is equally awesome and hellish. Juggling numerous tasks at once and getting things done super-fast with a terrible wi-fi connection requirea killer organizational skills and zen-like concentration. Try using the next 20 websites and apps to make your life as a digital nomad easier, less stressful and even more exciting!

    1. Trello

    Trello is your go-to website to stay organized and work super-efficiently on the road. It’s a free service that allows you to create numerous boards for your ongoing projects and plans. Tired of having numerous notes scattered around different apps and lengthy email threads with your clients or team? Just drag and drop them all to Trello, where you can easily collaborate, quickly exchange ideas and notes in the form of cards, leave comments and track the overall progress of the project. You can create numerous boards and organize them the way you like, upload files to each, set deadlines and notifications, plus easily share everything with one click.

    My Trello contains two sets of boards – personal and business. I use the first to keep all my travel plans neat and make sure I won’t confuse the flight time or overstay my visa; the second to keep a visual account of my personal goals and various arrangements. The business board is where I have a list of ongoing projects composed into simple to-dos with their current statuses –  along with all the comments from my clients and a separate column for follow-ups.

    Trello is an incredible free alternative to similar project management softwares I used before and it can be used for tackling any job – from house renovation to multi-stage marketing campaign! Also available as an app for iOS and Android devices to get updates on the go.

    2. f.lux

    As a digital nomad you often find yourself working late at night or early morning to keep up with your clients’ time zones. Love checking your email or reading a few articles from your iPad before going to bed? (I do!). Even if you don’t feel it yet, your eyes are seriously suffering from those habits and you can end up having troubles with sleeping as the blue light from your devices negatively impacts your sleeping patterns. Use f.lux – a handy software that will automatically adjust the color of your computer’s display to the time of day – warm at night and like sunlight during the day. F.lux allowed me to be more productive in the mornings and made it easier to slow down my activity in the evenings. As a digital nomad it is essential to stay refreshed as your income depends solely on your productivity. Besides, haven’t we escaped the cubicle to have a better work/life balance and more rest in the first place?

    Advertising

    3. Focus@Will

    As we often find ourselves working at various places around the globe – from a crowded bus station to a jam-packed bar (the only place that has decent wi-fi in the area) – concentrating on your work gets extremely difficult. That’s where Focus@Will comes to rescue. The service offers a wide selection of white noise and simple tunes selected according to a neuroscience-based approach. It seems to work pretty great as I stayed way more concentrated on my work compared to the times when I just blasted my favorite tunes and murmured along. A 30-day free trial has a limited selection of tracks and will stop playing them in an hour (although it could be restarted immediately). The paid service will cost you around $10 for three months. Also available as a free app for iOS and Android devices.

    4. Shopify

    Let’s admit it, being a digital nomad and working solo gets challenging at times. There are days when you feel like a Renaissance man trying to tackle all things at once and getting expertise in numerous areas. That’s especially true when you are just about to launch your business website, blog or an online store. If you are a creative, you have only basic knowledge (if any) in CSS, HTML or integrated payment systems, so you spend endless hours figuring out how things work instead of doing what you are really good at and earning money.

    Try Shopify – a service providing custom no-hassle ecommerce solutions. They offer everything from secure hosting and mobile-optimized websites to secure check-outs with some 70 payment getaways to choose from and assistance with running your online marketing campaign. The rates are incredibly affordable and start from just $29 per month for unlimited access to all their services and features or opt for a 14 day free trial to test them out first!

    5. Rescue Time

    Proper time management is another great struggle all digital workers face. How many times you have found yourself spending over 12 hours a day in front of your screen and not having all things done? Yeah, it happens to me quite in a while, so I’ve started using Rescue Time – to stay on top of my productivity while still having a normal work/life balance. Install it on your computer and all devices to have an accurate picture of how much time you spend doing certain activities or browsing certain sites (khm..cat videos on YouTube). At the end of each week you’ll receive an email with a fair statement on your (un)productivity.

    Rescue Time enables you to give more accurate deadlines to your clients; create accurate hourly invoices as you know exactly how much time you’ve spent doing a certain task and adjusting your rates accordingly and eliminate random activity during your working hours. You can use Light Rescue Time version for free or opt for the premium plan at $6 per month.

    6. Every Time Zone

    As you probably work with people based anywhere from New Zealand to the West Coast keeping an eye on the deadline or updating them on your progress at 9 am each day may get tricky. Just as sending follow-ups, project proposals and invoices at the right time of the day. Every Time Zone is another great solution for keeping proper track of the time – your client’s time. Add all time zones you need, add your time in the marker at the top and see where this lands in everyone else’s day. No more crazy maths with figuring out when do you need to ring up Joe on Skype if he asked to do that at 11 am EST.

    Advertising

    7. XE Currency

    How many currencies do you have in your wallet? My guess is more than two. As a digital nomad and perpetual traveler you have to keep track on the conversion rates and different currencies all the time. To make sure you are charging an equally fair price in USD/EU/GBP or any other currency out there use XE Currency. Get live conversion rates instantly or add up a list of your preferred and sync ahead of time to have instant offline access from any device. XE Currency is available as a web service, iOS, Android, Windows Phone apps and more.

    8. Trail Wallet

    My second essential money app for digital nomads is Trail Wallet (currently iOS only). It’s a beautifully crafted and easy-to-use app for tracking your expenses across multiple countries and currencies. You can organize your spendings by country or my month, set max daily budgets and add each dollar you’ve spent on the go. At the end of the month the app will tell you if you gone over your budget or where exactly did the cash flow. It’s perfect for analyzing the cost of living and working at different cities and countries, thus finding the optimal home-base for you when you get tired of being on the road and need to settle down for a while.

    9. Xero

    And to keep better track of your business-related expenses try Xero. Arguably, the best online bookkeeping and accounting service out there for all the non-accountants. It’s perfect for sending invoices, keeping track of the cash-flow and setting payment notifications on credit cards and recruiting payments. It neatly categorizes all your bank transactions and reconciles them with the transactions you have made in Xero to keep things even more simple. Available for numerous iOS and Android devices, so you can always have access to your data at no time.

    10. Tripit

    Tripit is one of the best travel planners out there! It’s free, fast and most importantly – works off-line. Just say no more to papers and lost emails. Forward all your booking confirmations – hotels, flights, car rental etc and let the app do all the magic for you by turning it into an easy-to-follow itinerary. You can set up notifications and get access to your data from any device without internet connection. Tripit reduced my frustration of arriving to the wrong terminal or roaming around the new city with my baggage as I haven’t written down the hotel address correctly. It’s a great app I seriously recommend using it to basically anyone who travels.

    11. 1Password

    Sharing sensitive data, especially passwords with your clients or team and keeping track of them can get challenging. That’s why I’ve started using 1Password – a super secure password-sharing service that allows you to create special vaults with a set of passwords to tools and services only accessible to the people you’ve shared it with. Available for numerous devices, the service gives you peace of mind when sharing anything sensitive via unprotected networks. Speaking of which…

    12. Private Internet Access

    Keep all your data and computer protected by opting for Private Internet Access. Often we need to make those last minute payments or credit card purchases and the only internet available is a suspicious unprotected network your device somehow found. By using an anonymous encrypted VPN and a private IP you can be 100% sure none of your payment data will be fished or passwords stolen.

    Advertising

    13. Workfrom

    Find the best coffee shops and cafes in your area with this service. Workfrom has a great pool of venues in major US cities – New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle – and more destinations worldwide to be added soon! The service is free to join and you’ll get access to numerous cool spots with unbiased opinions of wi-fi connection and cappuccino quality from digital nomads just like you. Reviews also include price range, meals available, general atmosphere and noise range, along with some pro-tips on where to find sockets and which table is the most secluded. I have discovered some of my all time favorites this way like Mr Bean in Amsterdam.

    14. Spotted by Locals

    Another awesome service to discover good meals and thrilling events at your current base. Spotted by Locals is not that typical city guide with boring touristy routes, but an amazing resources with awesome recommendations from the locals on things to do and places to check out. After all, you’ve chosen a location independent lifestyle to explore the world more, not just spend hours tapping on the keywords in a different environment.

    Currently, the website has numerous recommendations for all major European cities – Paris, Madrid, Vienna, Warsaw and many more, plus it gradually expands into North America with Boston, LA, Toronto and Montreal guides recently added. You can browse around the free categorized selection of activities at the website or pay$ 2.99 for a PDF guide with all tips and places neatly listed on the map. Or opt for iOS or Android app ($3.99 each) to gain offline access to one of the city guides along with a detailed map.

    15. Jawbone UP

    Now when you know where to go and what to see, here’s a handy app that will help you get unstuck from your laptop. Jawbone UP will gently nag you when it’s time to get up and unwind a bit. Install the app and connect it to all your hardware, than let the Up Activity Tracker (a lovely bracelet) analyze your sleeping and activity patterns to help you creating a better lifestyle. The app will monitor and analyze all your actions and suggest you a healthier schedule, help you sleep better and keep up with the exercise routine (which gets erratic when you are on the move). Why do we need more time if we don’t spend it wise, right? The app is free for iOS and Android, however you’ll have to pay 129$ for the bracelet tracker or 49.99$ for the clip.

    16. SugarSync

    Some like DropBox, others opt for Google Drive, yet my go-to cloud storage service is SugarSync. It’s simpler, more powerful and has a really slick design. After you install it, you just need to right-click the file/folder to instantly back them up at the cloud. Besides, any further change you make to that data will be automatically synchronized. Large files get uploaded extra fast and you can get 250 GB storage space for just $99.99 per year. Also you can access, share and edit all your files via free iOS or Android app supported on numerous devices. Now, I’ve finally stopped worrying what should I do if my laptop gets broken/stolen.

    17. Contactually

    If you don’t like to get broke and return home, you have to invest a fair share of your time in building ongoing relationships with your clients, vendors or customers depending on what do you do for a living. To avoid this whole thing becoming a huge pain try using Contactually – a simple, yet powerful service that will tell you when and whom you should keep in touch with and how you could maximize your ROI by connecting with the right people at the right time. It will send you notifications when you’ve fallen out of touch with certain contacts (which can mean missed opportunities in the perspective) and prompt when you should reconnect with the most important contacts from your network by providing helpful context clues like social updates and recent conversations to make the whole thing look more genuine. The service boasts that their users get up to 40% more referrals after using their service (backed by case studies) which is kind of essential for you if you’d like to live the nomadic life and work for yourself!

    Advertising

    18. Schedule Once

    If you are working on multiple projects with multiple clients at a time – Schedule Once is your kick-ass service to schedule online meetings and conferences. Create a sleek pre-set calendar when you are available and send people a unique link that allows them to select a suitable time for both of you to connect. The service is fantastic for anyone offering consulting services or coaching sessions and costs just 5$ per month!

    19. Spaxtel

    Sometimes the internet gets so crappy that calling by Skype is impossible. Or you have a very-very important conversation scheduled and you don’t want any possible glitches to interrupt you. That’s when it’s worth using Spaxtel – a cool service that enables you to make land-line quality phone calls via callback. You don’t need to install any software or have internet access. The rates depends on the quality of call you choose (the lowest discount is pretty great) and the countries from/to you are calling. So far, the price proved to be nearly Skype-affordable for a better overall quality of connection.

    20. Earth Class Mail

    Snail mail isn’t that popular these days, but you still get some important stuff via it. Say bills and some paychecks. If you don’t want to bug your parents or friends’ to deal with your mail while you are out, try using Earth Mail Class – an affordable mail forwarding service that scans and forwards your mail to the e-mail address of your choice, deposits your checks (for a fee), saves PDFs of your postal mail online and offers in-person pickup and package signing.

    Featured photo credit: Avi Richards via unsplash.com

    Read Next