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The Leader as Kipuka (Create your Kipuka, Part II)

The Leader as Kipuka (Create your Kipuka, Part II)

Last Thursday, we talked about creating a haven of creativity and rejuvenation for ourselves, called Kipuka in Hawai‘i. I had ended my article asking you to consider how people can be like the Kipuka, those verdant oases of life in scorched lava fields which hold the promise of what will flourish and grow once more.

The common name they may go by in our normal awareness? Leaders. Held within them is the promise of a future the rest of us may not sense yet. They lead in that they start to move toward it before the rest of us do, and they are so certain and self-assured, so positive and full of energy, that they pull us along with them. We follow very willingly, feeling comfortable in their confidence.

What we do sense, is that within their Kipuka a spot will be made for us to take root, find nourishment in fertile ground, and grow too. We are sure they will add some richness to our lives.

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These leaders are not always larger than life. They are not always older, better traveled, or more experienced than we are. In fact, they could even be our children. They are leaders who may not have a title of leadership, but they act like leaders, and so in our picture frame of our present world, that’s who they are. That’s who we want them to be.

“Leadership is about getting things done with others and through others, and as such, aspiring to leadership is not a goal or quality reserved for those with title, position, or power. Conversely, when you have been one to demonstrate your leadership, people take notice you have it, and those promotions of title, position, and power will find you.”
—Managing with Aloha, on Alaka‘i, the Hawaiian value of Leadership

So if title can’t clue you in to recognize leadership when you see it, what does? The vegetation on the Kipuka stands out so remarkably when it is surrounded by nothing but hardened black lava. The best leadership is not as obvious in our everyday consciousness. How can you get better at putting yourself in the company of the leaders worth following, the ones who will mean something great in your life? What does “great leading” look like to you?

If you feel you have an answer, or a story to share, do share it with us here.

Why? So we can learn from the great leaders of our world, and try to be like them.

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You see I believe that a) leadership matters, and b) that leading is something we can all do. As I wrote in Managing with Aloha, titles and positions of power are irrelevant. As a coach, I want to help people lead when they feel the calling to do so. As a member of the human race, I want more of us to lead effectively when we believe we can, and when we should. I long for us to be more impatient, lead more often and in more small ways, so we can banish apathy and complacency.

It seems to me that we tend to think of leadership as way bigger than it really is in real-life, normal practice. I like the thought that we can each be the best in some way and with some thing, when we choose to excel at those things we can do, and do exceptionally well, versus striving to be the best with what might be out of our league.

I don’t think that’s a condescending thought at all; it’s liberating. What it means to me is that we can all stop waiting for a looming presence of leadership to come save us, excite us, or otherwise rock our world. We can do it ourselves in whatever small ways we can, just like the Kipuka, seemingly alone and small in the vast destruction of rivers of lava. Because of the Kipuka life does not end. Because of us, possibility never ends.

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Everything is impossible unless the first person does it. Will you be that person?

Article References:
Create your Kipuka
“Great Leading” means what, exactly?

Rosa Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business and the Talking Story blog. She is also the founder and head coach of Say Leadership Coaching, a company dedicated to bringing nobility to the working arts of management and leadership.

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More by this author

Rosa Say

Rosa is an author and blogger who dedicates to helping people thrive in the work and live with purpose.

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Last Updated on July 23, 2019

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

In the journey of growth, there are times when we grow and excel. We are endlessly driven and hyped up, motivated to get our goals.

Then there are times when we stagnate. We feel uninspired and unmotivated. We keep procrastinating on our plans. More often than not, we get out of a rut, only to get back into another one.

How do you know if you are stagnating? Here are some tell-tale signs:

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  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

When we face stagnation in life, it’s a sign of deeper issues. Stagnation, just like procrastination, is a symptom of a problem. It’s easy to beat ourselves over it, but this approach is not going to help. Here, I will share 5 steps to help you move out of this stagnation. They won’t magically transform your life in 1 night (such changes are never permanent because the foundations are not built), but they will help you get the momentum going and help you get back on track.

1. Realize You’re Not Alone

Everyone stagnates at some point or another. You are not alone in this and more importantly, it’s normal. In fact, it’s amazing how many of my clients actually face the same predicament, even though all of them come from different walks of life, are of different ages, and have never crossed paths. Realizing you are not alone in this will make it much easier to deal with this period. By trying to “fight it”, you’re only fighting yourself. Accept this situation, acknowledge it, and tell yourself it’s okay. That way, you can then focus on the constructive steps that will really help you.

2. Find What Inspires You

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Stagnation comes because there isn’t anything that excites you enough to take action. If you don’t have a habit of setting goals, and instead just leave yourself to daily mundanes, it’s not surprising you are experiencing stagnation. What do you want to do if there are no limitations? If you can have whatever you want, what will it be? The answers to these questions will provide the fuel that will drive you forward.

On the other hand, even if you are an experienced goal setter, there are times when the goals you set in the past lose their appeal now. It’s normal and it happens to me too. Sometimes we lose touch with our goals, since we are in a different emotional state compared to when we first set them. Sometimes our priorities change and we no longer want to work on those goals anymore. However, we don’t consciously realize this, and what happens is we procrastinate on our goals until it compounds into a serious problem. If that’s the case for you, it’s time to relook into your goals. There’s no point in pursuing goals that no longer inspire you. Trash away your old goals (or just put them aside) and ask yourself what you really want now. Then go for them.

3. Give Yourself a Break

When’s the last time you took a real break for yourself? 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Never? Perhaps it’s time to take a time-out. Prolonged working can cause someone to become disillusioned as they lose sight of who they are and what they want.

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Go take some extended leave from work. A few days at bare minimum; a few weeks or months will be great. Some of my ex-colleagues have quit their jobs and took months out to do some self-reflection. Of course, some of us might not have that luxury, so we can stick to a few weeks of leave. Go on a trip elsewhere and get away from your work and your life. Use this chance to get a renewed perspective of life. Think about your life purpose, what you want and what you want to create for your life in the future. These are big questions that require deep thinking over them. It’s not about finding the answers at one go, but about taking the first step to finding the answers.

4. Shake up Your Routines

Being in the same environment, doing the same things over and over again and meeting the same people can make us stagnant. This is especially if the people you spend the most time with are stagnant themselves.

Change things around. Start with simple things, like taking a different route to work and eating something different for breakfast. Have your lunch with different colleagues, colleagues you never talked much with. Work in a different cubicle if your work has free and easy seating. Do something different than your usual for weekday evenings and weekends. Cultivate different habits, like exercising every day, listening to a new series of podcasts every morning to work, reading a book, etc (here’s 6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick). The different contexts will give you different stimulus, which will trigger off different thoughts and actions in you.

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When I’m in a state of stagnancy, I’ll get a sense of what’s making me stagnate. Sometimes it’s the environment I’m in, sometimes it’s the people I’ve been hanging out with, sometimes it’s my lifestyle. Most of the times it’s a combination of all these. Changing them up helps to stir myself out of the stagnant mode.

5. Start with a Small Step

Stagnation also comes from being frozen in fear. Maybe you do want this certain goal, but you aren’t taking action. Are you overwhelmed by the amount of work needed? Are you afraid you will make mistakes? Is the perfectionist in you taking over and paralyzing you?

Let go of the belief that it has to be perfect. Such a belief is a bane, not a boon. It’s precisely from being open to mistakes and errors that you move forward. Break down what’s before you into very very small steps, then take those small steps, a little step at a time. I had a client who had been stagnating for a long period because he was afraid of failing. He didn’t want to make another move where he would make a mistake. However, not wanting to make a mistake has led him to do absolutely nothing for 2-3 years. On the other hand, by doing just something, you would already be making progress, whether it’s a mistake or not. Even if you make a supposed “mistake”,  you get feedback to do things differently in the next step. That’s something you would never have known if you never made a move.

More to Help You Stay Motivated

Here are some resources that will help you break out of your current phase:

Featured photo credit: Anubhav Saxena via unsplash.com

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