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How to Become Empowered and Actualize Your Possibilities

How to Become Empowered and Actualize Your Possibilities

The discovery of the self is a lifelong process which takes place between two worlds; internal and external. At first, finding your moral and ethical place in the world—or even your high school—can be overwhelming, being so focused on your internal, adolescent self. But as you absorb and experience new things, your cognitive functions become more cosmopolitan, allowing you to perceive the context of your bubble of reality within The Big Picture. This might make you feel like an insignificant stepper in the “Grand March” of history, but distinguishing the details of your individual identity (i.e. unique circumstances, emotional associations, semantic idiosyncrasies) is the first step to facing life with more confidence and optimism, becoming more spontaneous and ambitious, while actualizing your possibilities.

Do Not Compare Yourself to Others

“Our lives look a lot more interesting when they’re filtered through the sexy Facebook interface. We star in our own movies, we photograph ourselves incessantly, we click the mouse and a machine confirms our sense of mastery.” -Jonathan Franzen

Remember this: Every human being is equal and unique, born into varying circumstances, locations, and times. Facebook—and the rest of social media—is a crude, passive tool for forming and maintaining social connections; while it is handy for travelers and “a more connected world,” developing an online identity can disfigure your real one—becoming more narcissistic, self-critical, or envious. It is unfair to compare your internal life with the “highlight reel” on someone else’s timeline, and you never know what is hidden beneath their surface.

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Respect Your (Real) Friendships

“Even the smallest person can change the course of history.” -J.R.R. Tolkien

Between Tweeting like a celebrity and scanning Netflix in obscurity, your friends will always remind you that your life really does matter—if it doesn’t to you, it does to them. In a way, your friends see you more clearly than you can ever see yourself: have fun, be honest and sympathetic, and express yourself without fear of judgment. Friendship is an ancient and legendary bond: without it, you can forget how incredible, quirky, and valuable your life is.

Learn from the Past, Plan for the Future, but Live in the Present

“You shouldn’t chase after the past or place expectations on the future. What is past is left behind. The future is as yet unreached. Whatever quality is present you clearly see right there, right there.” -Buddha

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While you ruminate on the past or the future, remember that each time you recall a memory, you recreate it: the more you return to certain memories, the more distorted they may be. Regret often exaggerates the magnitude of past mistakes and the fear of future ones. This may prove that emotional stress can cloud your working memory—which strongly correlates to your IQ—and cause your worldview to become pessimistic and vague. You can escape the pressures of another time by accepting and immersing yourself in the present, no matter where you are.

Be Secure Enough to Change

“Maybe the most under-appreciated thing about Steve [Jobs] was that he had the courage to change his mind.” -Tim Cook, Apple CEO

As you stumble onward in your journey, you will find that life is full of contradiction and paradox—and so are you. Though your brain tends to dislike the dissonance produced by conflicting ideas, many of our choices are the lesser of two (or more) evils. No one is perfect, and the heroes among us make the best of their mistakes by learning from them without feeling personally attacked or being hypersensitive to criticism.

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Trust Your Judgment, Act Accordingly

“Centuries of centuries and only in the present do things happen; countless men in the air, on the face of the earth and the sea, and all that really is happening is happening to me…” -Jorge Luis Borges

The Big Picture is impossibly grand and labyrinthine, but if you trust your instincts, your morals, and your experience to guide you, you will find yourself in the right place. The Galileos and Jobses of our time have shown us that if there is no “right way” to do anything. Nothing is true; everything is permitted. And the time is now. One definitive act is much louder (and much rarer) than a thousand vague words.

Links to previous Lifehack articles:
In Be Secure Enough to Change: “the dissonance produced by conflicting ideas

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In Respect Your (Real) Friendships: “ancient and legendary bond

Featured photo credit:  Raised arms man in the summit of mountain via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on December 2, 2020

7 Reasons Why Quitting Facebook Now Is Good for Your Future

7 Reasons Why Quitting Facebook Now Is Good for Your Future

For the past 100 years or so, there have been huge improvements in communication. From letters to phone calls to text messages to video calls to social networks. Following all these improvements, one of the biggest inventions of the 21st century was founded in 2004[1], and it started to spread like wildfire, first in the US and then around the world. Now, quitting Facebook has become nearly unheard of.

There are more than 1 billion monthly active Facebook users. Although initially it aimed to bring all people together for the sake of connecting, the effects of Facebook on masses became a huge debate after it gained so much popularity, with some even suggesting you deactivate your account.

The advantages of social media and its ability to connect us to people around the world are well known. Now, it’s time to dive into the ways Facebook affects your productivity and why you should ultimately consider quitting Facebook.

1. Facebook Allows You to Waste Time

While being on Facebook and scrolling through the news feed, many active users are not aware of the time they actually spend on viewing others’ life events or messaging with Facebook messenger. It has become so addictive that many even feel obliged to like or comment on anything that is shared.

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You might think of the time spent on Facebook as your free time, though you are not aware that you can spend the same time taking care of yourself, learning something new, or doing your daily tasks.

2. It Can Decrease Motivation

By seeing someone else’s continuous posts about the parties they went to or friends they see frequently, you might feel insecure about yourself if your own posts are not as impressive as the ones in your news feed.

However, there is rarely such a thing as going out every day or having amazing vacations every year. Unfortunately, though, we internalize the posts we see and create a picture in our minds of how others are living.

One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[2].

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Basically, when we see posts depicting lives we consider “better” than ours, our self-esteem takes a hit. As many of us are doing this for hours at a time, you can imagine the toll it’s taking on our mental health. Therefore, if you want to raise your self-esteem, quitting Facebook may be a good idea.

3. You Use Energy on People You Don’t Care About

Look at the number of friends you have on Facebook. How many of them are really good friends? How many of the friend requests you get are real people or your actual acquaintances?

You have to admit that you have people on Facebook who are not related to you and some you barely know, but who still comments on their photos or offer a like now and again. Basically, instead of offering your time and energy to the genuinely rewarding relationships in your life, you’re spending it on people you don’t really care about.

4. Facebook Feeds You Useless Information

It is one thing to read newspapers or magazines in order to get information, but it is an entirely different thing to be faced with false news, trends, and celebrity updates through continuous posts. I bet one of the things that you will not miss after quitting Facebook is the bombardment of information that seems to have no effect on your life whatsoever.

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5. It Damages Your Communication Skills

When is the last time you actually hung out in real life with your friends, relatives, or colleagues? Because of the social media that is supposed to help us communicate, we forget about real communication, and therefore, have difficulties communicating effectively in real life. This negatively affects our relationships at home, work, or in our social circles.

6. You Get Manipulated

One of the biggest problems of Facebook is its influence on people’s creativity. Although it is assumed to be a free social media site, which let’s you to share almost anything you want, you have this tendency to want to get more likes[3].

In order to get more likes, you must work very hard on your shared posts, trying to make it funny, creative, or clever, while you could spend the same time doing something that genuinely improves your creativity. After quitting Facebook, you’ll be amazed at all the creative hobbies you have time to develop.

7. It Takes Over Your Life

The marketing strategy of Facebook is quite clear. Its creators want you to spend as much time as possible on the site. While working on their posts and choosing which pictures to share, many people actually try to be someone else. This often means they end up being isolated from the real world and their true selves.

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It is possible to put the same time and energy toward becoming a better version of yourself instead of faking it. Why not try it by quitting Facebook?

Final Thoughts

There are many reasons to try quitting Facebook. By knowing how it may be impacting your productivity and mental health, you can search for motivation to get off social media and back into your real life.

These points will guide you in seeing what your life would be like if you were to delete your account. Leaving Facebook doesn’t sound so bad after all, does it?

More on How to Quit Social Media

Featured photo credit: Brett Jordan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The Guardian: A brief history of Facebook
[2] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem.
[3] Better by Today: Do Facebook ‘Likes’ Mean You’re Liked?

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