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8 Effective Ways To Be More Assertive

8 Effective Ways To Be More Assertive

Do you often find yourself feeling like a pushover? Your friends constantly call on you to help with the smallest of things, yet you never get time to get your own things done? Have you missed the last two promotions at work because you’re letting others take the credit for the job you’ve done? If this sounds like you, then you need to learn to be more assertive in life. Here are 8 effective ways that you can learn – and become – more assertive.

1. Make quicker decisions

It is important when you’re asked a question that you answer quickly. Doing so will prevent you from over-thinking and changing what your gut instinct says. For instance, you’ve got 15 loads of laundry to catch up on, and want to get a quick workout in, so when your friend calls for a ride, say no immediately because that’s what you’re really be thinking anyways.

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2. Know what you want

Many people who feel they’re left behind often don’t know what they want, so they have a difficult time standing up for themselves. It’s important that you have a vision of what you want in your mind, so that you can go after it. For instance, a promotion is coming up and you want it. Strive to show your boss that you’re the one that’s doing all the work and deserves the position.

3. Set clear expectations

In order to be more assertive, you need to clearly know what to expect from yourself and others. If you’re someone who’s always on the back-burner, don’t expect to rise to the top immediately. Set clear goals and expect to move at a steady pace, gaining the ground you deserve.

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4. Overcome your fears

It’s possible that one of the reasons you’re overlooked is because you prefer to stand in the shadows. When it comes to a presentation at work that you’ve done all the groundwork for, don’t let someone else give your presentation. Overcome your ‘stage fright’ and take the front seat at that presentation. Remember that courage isn’t the lack of fear. Courage is acting despite having your fears.

5 . Use body language to project confidence

Even though you might be in a situation where you don’t feel confident, don’t let anyone see that. Use body language to mask your true fears and give off a confident vibe. Stand straight, chin up, shoulders back and don’t fidget.

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6. Don’t fumble your words

When people are nervous and lacking confidence, they tend to talk quietly and mumble, sometimes making many mistakes with simple words. It is much better if you speak so that you can be heard, as well as slowly and clearly. Avoid fast-talking, as that really allows your lack of confidence to show through.

7. Dress to impress

Not that outer images should make a difference, but the truth is, they do. It’s important that you dress for success. Make sure your clothes fit properly, are cleaned, and in some cases, ironed. You want to look more confident, which will help you feel more confident on the inside.

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8. Change the way you think

The most important factor to become more assertive is to change the way you think. Allow yourself to stand up for what you believe in, what you think is right, and don’t think about what others think. For instance, when someone tries to take over your presentation, or say that they’ve done the work that you’ve done, don’t allow them to do this, as you have in the past. Change the fact that you let others walk all over you and stand up for yourself!

Featured photo credit: LOA via Shots of Insight

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Last Updated on December 7, 2018

10 Steps For Success: Applying The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

10 Steps For Success: Applying The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

How big is the gap between you and your success?

What is the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people?

It is as simple as this: successful people think and talk about what they are creating, and unsuccessful people focus on and talk about what they’re lacking.

So how do you bridge that gap between wanting success and having your success? Let’s make an important distinction. You see, there is a big difference between “Wanting” and “Having” something.

Wanting: means lacking or absent. Deficient in some part, thing or aspect.

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Having: means to possess, to hold, to get, to receive, to experience.

You can have one OR the other, but not both at the same time with any particular object of your desire. You either have it or you don’t.

When it comes to your subconscious, if you’re focusing on the “wanting”, i.e. the not having, guess what, you will build stronger neural networks in your brain around the “wanting.” However, through the power of your subconscious mind, you can focus on the “having” as if it has already happened. Research has shown that your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you’re visualizing inside your mind versus what is happening out there in your reality.

This is a regular practice of elite athletes. They spend as much timing creating the internal mental imagery of their success playing out as they do actually physically practicing. This helps create both the neural pathways in their brain and the muscle memory to consistently deliver on that success.

Here are 10 “brain hack” steps for success that you can take to create your version of a happy life. Make these steps a regular habit, and you will be astonished at the results.

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Step 1: Decide exactly what you want to create and have

This is usually the biggest problem that people have. They don’t know what they want and then they’re surprised when they don’t get it.

Step 2: Write down your goal clearly in every technicolor detail

A goal that is not written down is merely a wish. When you write it down in full detail, you signal to your subconscious mind that you really want to accomplish this particular goal.

Step 3: Write your goal in simple, present tense words

…that a three year old can understand on a three-by-five index card and carry it with you. Read it each morning after you awake and just before you go to sleep.

Step 4: Backwards planning

See your goal achieved and identify all the steps required that it took to bring it to life. Making a list of all these steps intensifies your desire and deepens your belief that the attainment of the goal is already happening.

Step 5: Resolve to take at least one step every day from one of the items on your list

Do something every day, even if it is just one baby step, that moves you toward your goal so you can maintain your momentum.

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Step 6: Visualize your goal repeatedly

See it in your mind’s eye as though it were already a reality. The more clear and vivid your mental picture of your goal, the faster it will come into your life.

Step 7: Feel the feeling of success as if your goal were realized at this very moment

Feel the emotion of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure that you would have once you have achieved your goal. Visualize and feel this success for at least 20 seconds at a time.

Step 8: “Fake it till you make it!”

Confidently behave as if your subconscious mind was already bringing your goal into reality. Accept that you are moving toward your goal and it is moving toward you.

Step 9: Relax your mind

Take time to breathe, pray or mediate each day. Disengage the stress response and engage the relaxation response. A quiet state of mind allows your brain to access newly formed neural pathways.

Step 10: Release your goal to your subconscious mind

When you turn your goal over to the power of the universe and just get out of the way, you will always know the right actions to take at the right time.

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Starting today, try tapping into the incredible power of your subconscious mind.Start with just one goal or idea, and practice it continually until you succeed in achieving that goal. Make it a game and have fun with it! The more lightly you hold it, the easier it will be to achieve. By doing so, you will move from the “positive thinking” of the hopeful person to the “positive knowing” of the totally successful person.

Hit reply and let me know what you’re creating!

To your success!

Featured photo credit: use-your-brain-markgraf via mrg.bz

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