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You’ll Hate Yourself Later If You Don’t Get Rid Of These Habits

You’ll Hate Yourself Later If You Don’t Get Rid Of These Habits

Some people succeed and others fail. The key difference between the two groups is not talent or luck. It is what they choose to do and choose not to do. Here are seven of the key habits of ineffective people.

1. They drift.

Ineffective people drift though life with no clear goals. They approach each day in a haphazard way without any priorities. They do not have a to do list, or if they have one they ignore it. They are busy all day without ever accomplishing the really significant things they should do. They find it hard to differentiate between jobs that are urgent and jobs that are important. They do not measure progress against written objectives because they do not set themselves any objectives.

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2. They settle for second best.

These people do not lack ambition, but they have modest ambitions. They want to do well, but do not demand high standards of themselves. Deep down they know that they are capable of achieving much more in their chosen fields, but they are satisfied with mediocre attainments. Highly effective people are self-critical. They have enormous self-belief and they set high standards for themselves.

3. They avoid risk and discomfort.

Successful people are prepared to move out of their comfort zones and take some calculated risks. Ineffective people prefer to stay doing what they know they can do. They do not want to try new things at which they could fail or make a fool of themselves. They are reluctant to learn new skills; instead they are keen to keep treading the paths they know well.

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4. They are easily distracted.

Unproductive people spend time on easy, low-value activities and find it hard to get round to the really tough but critical tasks. They waste time watching TV, reading social media, surfing the web or playing games. They mean to do some important work but find that other things keep getting in the way.

5. They are indecisive.

Successful people make choices, they are decisive – and they get quite a few decisions wrong. But they move forward. When they see an opportunity, they seize it. Unsuccessful people often avoid hard choices. They defer decisions. They wait to see what will happen. They fear that if they make a decision it might turn out to be the wrong decision so they pause. They do not move forward. They miss opportunities.

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6. They do not work through people.

Successful people achieve success by asking, motivating and involving others. They network and approach contacts for help and information. Ineffective people prefer to browse the internet and occasionally meet some familiar people face to face. They do not actively network and engage others in their plans and projects.

7. They blame others.

Ineffective people have a long list of excuses. They are victims. Their parents, teachers, bosses and colleagues have all let them down from time to time. They have been unlucky. Fate has conspired against them. Successful people take ownership of their lives and do not blame others. They know that it is their actions and choices that determine their success or failure.

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If you read the biographies of successful people in different fields you find that they share some common habits. They set goals, they believe in themselves, they take risks, they work through people, they demand much of themselves, they make decisions and they take full responsibility for their careers and objectives. It is not so easy to read the stories of ineffective people because, although there are a great many of them, very few warrant a biography. However, just like the successful, the ineffective are shaped by their habits, actions and attitudes.

How can an ineffective person become effective and successful? First by acknowledging that they have some bad habits that are restricting them, and then by taking actions to break the habits. Ingrained habits are hard to break, but it can be done. That is what successful people do.

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Paul Sloane

Professional Keynote Speaker, Author, Innovation Expert

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems.

In this article, you will learn why it isn’t easy to build new habits, and how to change habits.

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

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Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

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Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

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2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

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6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

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Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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