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How to Discuss Finances with Your Partner Without Killing Each Other

How to Discuss Finances with Your Partner Without Killing Each Other

Money is often cited as the number one topic that couples fight about. This can be incredibly trying, especially when you and your significant other have different views about the ways that your money should be saved and spent. Listed below are a few ways that you can talk openly and honestly about money in your relationship, but of course, no two relationships are the same, so you might have to try several of these tactics in order to find the one that works best for you.

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    Understand Their Background

    Instead of fighting about money, first try to understand how your significant other grew up. Were they raised in a home where they were taught to pinch pennies? Or, were they raised in a home where they were able to buy whatever they wanted? Often, people have difficulty leaving their personal upbringing behind when it comes to creating their own way of managing money. We often mimic the money management systems that our parents use, which might not work when we bring another person into our lives. Understanding why they are the way that they are in terms of finances can help open the door for some clear conversations.

    Establish Trust

    Establishing trust is one of the most important things a couple can try to do when they are managing their money. This can be difficult since many people might wish to buy extravagant things without telling their partners, thus breaking their trust. At first, you might have to resort to only using cash and writing down what you spend, but you should be able to rebuild that trust eventually and communicating within the relationship will become easier.

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    Have a Common Goal

    We should all have some idea of the money we want to save and financial goals we want to achieve, be that taking a trip, paying off credit card debt, or something entirely unique . If you and your partner share the same goal (like a romantic vacation), working together to save the money for it can put a positive spin on managing money.

    Talk To a Financial Counselor

    There are many financial counselors who also specialize in helping relationships: you just need to do an Internet search to find one who can help you plan for your future and understand your partner’s goals and habits as well. Going to talk to a financial counselor can definitely be an intimidating experience, but people often feel so much better after they do, since financial counselors can give you realistic numbers of the amount of money you should be saving and spending. You’ll leave feeling informed, organized, and rejuvenated.

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    Have “Fun Money” Accounts

    Most of the arguments that couples have about finances are in regard to how each person should be spending money—most often, with one partner getting mad or upset that the other has purchased something they shouldn’t have. This can be avoided if each person has a specified amount of money that they can spend on whatever they like. If they want to save for a few months and buy an iPad, they can do that; if they want to spend it all right away on a hundred packs of M&Ms, they can do that too. The important thing is that each person can decide what to do with his or her own “fun money”—this establishes trust and allows each person to get what he or she wants (within reason).

    Manage it Together

    If you find that you and your partner consistently argue about money, it’s time to get organized. Sit down together once a week for a budget meeting so each person is fully aware of how much each other has, and what needs to be done each week to keep your budget in check. This type of meeting can really keep the lines of communication open and encourage each of you to stay accountable for the amount of money you spend.

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    Track Your Money

    Getting into the habit of writing down everything you buy will help you to be aware of your spending patterns, and so much more. Pretty soon, you will consider each purchase and ask yourself if you want to write it down—this keeps you from spending needlessly. If both you and your partner get into this habit, you can be well on your way to attaining financial freedom and having fewer arguments about money.

    The tips and techniques above are not for everyone, and I’m not a relationship expert. I do know from experience, however, that utilizing at least one of them can help your relationship to be more open, honest, and understanding. Every relationship has trying times now and then, and these tips can help you to avoid some of the tensions that can arise when you disagree about money.

     

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    Published on November 8, 2018

    How to Answer the Tough Question: What are Your Salary Requirements?

    How to Answer the Tough Question: What are Your Salary Requirements?

    After a few months of hard work and dozens of phone calls later, you finally land a job opportunity.

    But then, you’re asked about your salary requirements and your mind goes blank. So, you offer a lower salary believing this will increase your odds at getting hired.

    Unfortunately, this is the wrong approach.

    Your salary requirements can make or break your odds at getting hired. But only if you’re not prepared.

    Ask for a salary too high with no room for negotiation and your potential employer will not be able to afford you. Aim too low and employers will perceive as you offering low value. The trick is to aim as high as possible while keeping both parties feel happy.

    Of course, you can’t command a high price without bringing value.

    The good news is that learning how to be a high-value employee is possible. You have to work on the right tasks to grow in the right areas. Here are a few tactics to negotiate your salary requirements with confidence.

    1. Hack time to accomplish more than most

    Do you want to get paid well for your hard work? Of course you do. I hate to break it to you, but so do most people.

    With so much competition, this won’t be an easy task to achieve. That’s why you need to become a pro at time management.

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    Do you know how much free time you have? Not the free time during your lunch break or after you’ve finished working at your day job. Rather, the free time when you’re looking at your phone or watching your favorite TV show.

    Data from 2017 shows that Americans spend roughly 3 hours watching TV. This is time poorly spent if you’re not happy with your current lifestyle. Instead, focus on working on your goals whenever you have free time.

    For example, if your commute to/from work is 1 hour, listen to an educational Podcast. If your lunch break is 30 minutes, read for 10 to 15 minutes. And if you have a busy life with only 30–60 minutes to spare after work, use this time to work on your personal goals.

    Create a morning routine that will set you up for success every day. Start waking up 1 to 2 hours earlier to have more time to work on your most important tasks. Use tools like ATracker to break down which activities you’re spending the most time in.

    It won’t be easy to analyze your entire day, so set boundaries. For example, if you have 4 hours of free time each day, spend at least 2 of these hours working on important tasks.

    2. Set your own boundaries

    Having a successful career isn’t always about the money. According to Gallup, about 70% of employees aren’t satisfied with their current jobs.[1]

    Earning more money isn’t a bad thing, but choosing a higher salary over the traits that are the most important to you is. For example, if you enjoy spending time with your family, reject job offers requiring a lot of travel.

    Here are some important traits to consider:

    • Work and life balance – The last thing you’d want is a job that forces you to work 60+ hours each week. Unless this is the type of environment you’d want. Understand how your potential employer emphasizes work/life balance.
    • Self-development opportunities – Having the option to grow within your company is important. Once you learn how to do your tasks well, you’ll start becoming less engaged. Choose a company that encourages employee growth.
    • Company culture – The stereotypical cubicle job where one feels miserable doesn’t have to be your fate. Not all companies are equal in culture. Take, for example, Google, who invests heavily in keeping their employees happy.[2]

    These are some of the most important traits to look for in a company, but there are others. Make it your mission to rank which traits are important to you. This way you’ll stop applying to the wrong companies and stay focused on what matters to you more.

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    3. Continuously invest in yourself

    Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. Cliche I know, but true nonetheless.

    You’ll grow as a person and gain confidence with the value you’ll be able to bring to others. Investing in yourself doesn’t have to be expensive. For example, you can read books to expand your knowledge in different fields.

    Don’t get stuck into the habit of reading without a purpose. Instead, choose books that will help you expand in a field you’re looking to grow. At the same time, don’t limit yourself to reading books in one subject–create a healthy balance.

    Podcasts are also a great medium to learn new subjects from experts in different fields. The best part is they’re free and you can consume them on your commute to/from work.

    Paid education makes sense if you have little to no debt. If you decide to go back to school, be sure to apply for scholarships and grants to have the least amount of debt. Regardless of which route you take to make it a habit to grow every day.

    It won’t be easy, but this will work to your advantage. Most people won’t spend most of their free time investing in themselves. This will allow you to grow faster than most, and stand out from your competition.

    4. Document the value you bring

    Resumes are a common way companies filter employees through the hiring process. Here’s the big secret: It’s not the only way you can showcase your skills.

    To request for a higher salary than most, you have to do what most are unwilling to do. Since you’re already investing in yourself, make it a habit to showcase your skills online.

    A great way to do this is to create your own website. Pick your first and last name as your domain name. If this domain is already taken, get creative and choose one that makes sense.

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    Here are some ideas:

    • joesmith.com
    • joeasmith.com
    • joesmithprojects.com

    Nowadays, building a website is easy. Once you have your website setup, begin producing content. For example, if you a developer you can post the applications you’re building.

    During your interviews, you’ll have an online reference to showcase your accomplishments. You can use your accomplishments to justify your salary requirements. Since most people don’t do this, you’ll have a higher chance of employers accepting your offer

    5. Hide your salary requirements

    Avoid giving you salary requirements early in the interview process.

    But if you get asked early, deflect this question in a non-defensive manner. Explain to the employer that you’d like to understand your role better first. They’ll most likely agree with you; but if they don’t, give them a range.

    The truth is great employers are more concerned about your skills and the value you bring to the company. They understand that a great employee is an investment, able to earn them more than their salary.

    Remember that a job interview isn’t only for the employer, it’s also for you. If the employer is more interested in your salary requirements, this may not be a good sign. Use this question to gauge if the company you’re interviewing is worth working for.

    6. Do just enough research

    Research average salary compensation in your industry, then wing it.

    Use tools like Glassdoor to research the average salary compensation for your industry. Then leverage LinkedIn’s company data that’s provided with its Pro membership. You can view a company’s employee growth and the total number of job openings.

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    Use this information to make informed decisions when deciding on your salary requirements. But don’t limit yourself to the average salary range. Companies will usually pay you more for the value you have.

    Big companies will often pay more than smaller ones.[3] Whatever your desired salary amount is, always ask for a higher amount. Employers will often reject your initial offer. In fact, offer a salary range that’ll give you and your employer enough room to negotiate.

    7. Get compensated by your value

    Asking for the salary you deserve is an art. On one end, you have to constantly invest in yourself to offer massive value. But this isn’t enough. You also have to become a great negotiator.

    Imagine requesting a high salary and because you bring a lot of value, employers are willing to pay you this. Wouldn’t this be amazing?

    Most settle for average because they’re not confident with what they have to offer. Most don’t invest in themselves because they’re not dedicated enough. But not you.

    You know you deserve to get paid well, and you’re willing to put in the work. Yet, you won’t sacrifice your most important values over a higher salary.

    The bottom line

    You’ve got what it takes to succeed in your career. Invest in yourself, learn how to negotiate, and do research. The next time you’re asked about your salary requirements, you won’t fumble.

    You’ll showcase your skills with confidence and get the salary you deserve. What’s holding you back now?

    Featured photo credit: LinkedIn Sales Navigator via unsplash.com

    Reference

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