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Find & Replace Limiting Beliefs, Part 1: Search Techniques

Find & Replace Limiting Beliefs, Part 1: Search Techniques


    Are you guilty of failing at your goals time and time again, only to ask “what’s wrong with the world?” and keep on trying to succeed with the same strategies and tactics?

    It may be time for an introspective examination of yourself. When success is hard to find, it’s not always the world that’s playing hide and seek. Sometimes, the problem is within our noggins, and we’re preventing ourselves from getting where we want to go. We are defined by the way we see the world.

    Another way of stating “the way we see the world” is “assumptions about reality” or worldview. Our worldview will consist of a combination of beliefs that are limiting and beliefs that are enabling—though always skewed to one end of the spectrum or the other.

    In true Lifehack spirit, we’re going to look at this using computer analogies. After all, the term “life hacks” comes from applying programming techniques to life. In this article we’ll be looking at search techniques—finding limiting beliefs—and in the next one, we’ll be looking at replacing them. Find & Replace—just like in Word!

    Questioning Your Assumptions About Reality

    We can only act in accordance with the boundaries of reality that we—or others—have set for ourselves.

    We cannot exceed those boundaries without first changing them. It’s a literal impossibility, or they aren’t really beliefs; if we can exceed them, we don’t really believe in them. Beliefs are a framework that thought and action cannot exist outside of without first expanding, changing or removing certain beliefs.

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    To make it harder to identify which beliefs are limiting you in some way, it’s not only those we currently hold that can affect our behavior and thinking—it’s also the beliefs we’ve held in the past, especially those that you were brought up with as a child. Even if your perception of reality has flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum, the effects of those earlier beliefs can stick with you for a lifetime.

    For instance, as Tim Ferriss mentions in The 4-Hour Workweek, your limiting belief may be that more time and effort spent equals greater productivity (or ‘hard work is good work’), hence making you hopelessly unproductive.

    What we are talking about here is examining and altering components of our worldview in order to effect a paradigm shift.

    Finding Limiting Beliefs

    Limiting beliefs are simply assumptions about reality that are not true. In order for our actions to have the greatest positive effect, we need to have beliefs that are as close to the reality as possible—deceiving ourselves will take us further from the goal. So, a limiting belief, when it comes down to it, is a belief that isn’t true.

    Since human perception and reality are fundamentally two different things, we will always have limiting beliefs. It is impossible to ever eliminate all of them. But, through observation, openness to new information, and trial, we can at least begin the process of closing the gap between reality and our perception of it.

    1. Observation

    Observe the world to see what works and what doesn’t work. Look at things different ways—for example, try being cynical or try being naive when you observe—you’ll see different things, and it’s likely that some of your limiting beliefs derive from being overly cynical or overly naive and trusting. There are many other viewpoints you can try.

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    What is observation? I always assumed that people would automatically know what I mean when I tell them to observe. In personal development, it is necessary to “observe” without having a specific target in mind. It’s a required state of mind to find both new ideas and bad habits. The other day I was talking about this concept of limiting beliefs and observation with a friend who said, “What do I observe?” and since then it has been obvious to me that it’s not an entirely intuitive practice.

    “Observe always that everything is the result of a change, and get used to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and to make new ones like them.” – Marcus Aurelius

    Aurelius was most definitely correct, but that only points us in the right direction—it gives us some idea of why we should observe reality instead of just taking the word of a friend, philosopher, minister or news anchor.

    The truth is that there’s no magic bullet that’ll automatically get you to mindfully observe your surroundings. It takes practice. Instead of living day-to-day in a passive “shutters-on” mode, you need to cultivate an active awareness of mind. Take note of your surroundings and be aware of them, instead of just existing in them. It’s not difficult to teach yourself this, in terms of the skill and knowledge required to do it, but it does take time and discipline before you’ll habitually stay in that mindful zone.

    What you’re doing is not only training yourself to observe everything throughout your day, but to spot disconnects more readily. Our default mode is to ignore disconnects in reality or accept them, thanks to beliefs that are out of line with objective reality. So, by cultivating this constant mindfulness and observation of everything we encounter, we’re overriding that default mode and telling our brain not to ignore those disconnects, but bring them to our attention. This allows us to determine where our ideas need tweaking.

    You’ll still be seeing reality through the lens of your current beliefs, but a lens can only distort an image, not present a totally different one (unless you’re really psychologically sick!), so with practice you’ll be able to determine (through pattern recognition) how your assumptions and ideas are distorting the perception of reality.

    In other words, you’re observing the world not to see more of it, but to see how your worldview ‘lens’ takes different concepts and distorts them in similar ways. By spotting the similarities in your perceptions of totally different things you’ll know that they’re artificial impositions on reality kicking in, and not objective truth itself. This gives you a better idea of what internal beliefs must change.

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    When you successfully do this for the first time, it’s a pretty enlightening moment—like seeing something with absolute clarity for the first time; like taking your sunglasses off and finally seeing all the color and depth of your environment.

    2. Openness to New Information

    Openness to new information is very important to seeking your own limiting beliefs and replacing them. If you’re open, you’ll allow yourself to see the way someone else does or sees things. Using the experience and beliefs of others to test your own is a massive shortcut to the process of finding and replacing limiting beliefs.

    This works best when others have fought their battles hard to find the optimal belief in an area, and you no longer have to because you’ve been open to their ideas. If you want to quit smoking, read about how other people have successfully removed harmful habits from their life and apply the beliefs that enabled them. The belief that it’s impossible to quit is usually the one that keeps people addicted.

    Essentially, being open to new ideas is a belief in itself, but this is one of the enabling beliefs. While some belief systems, especially the institutionalized ones, are very closed to new ideas—and hence, I might add, suffering for it—it is of absolute importance that you be open to new ideas if you ever want to improve and develop yourself. If close-mindedness is a part of your belief system, then change it immediately, or stagnate forever. If you don’t change that, there’s no point to be wasting time reading stuff like this—go be productive!

    Most people think they are open to new ideas, if “being open” means: when you find a good idea, be open to using it yourself. But this is not where the concept of openness stops; it hasn’t even begun. Being open is hardly about the ideas you think are good to begin with. It’s about the ones that you don’t like.

    Like the idea that if you never watched, listened to or read the news again, your life wouldn’t fall apart and you wouldn’t miss out on anything you need to know.

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    Cultivate a curiosity in both ideas that seem comfortable and wonderful, and ideas that seem uncomfortable and scary. The latter are the ones that will help you the most.

    And remember that being open doesn’t mean accepting all new ideas; once you’ve objectively entertained an idea, you can always reject it. Accepting every idea the world throws at you is a practice known as stupidity.

    3. Trialling New Information (or, Trial & Error)

    You can observe and be open, but you’ll never really find your own limiting beliefs until you actually try some new ones on for size.

    When you’ve found some areas of your belief system that you think need touching up, implement the proposed improvements and see if you’re doing better with or without them. You need to do this for at least seven to 30 days; the longer the better. If you “try it on” for a few hours or a day or two, you’ll never really know if the idea was good—all you’ll really discover is that it was uncomfortable to try something you weren’t used to. It takes time to get over the comfort hump, so take that into account.

    Set that time limit before you begin. Never, ever set it after. Stick to it.

    While you might not make it past the comfort hump of your trial, it’s also possible the opposite will happen: you’ll enjoy the fact of change itself, the act of doing (or thinking) something different for once, and you’ll mistake the source of that positive feeling as being the new beliefs. It could be a step backward, but because you finally got to find out how it feels to think differently and look at something in a new light, you’re oblivious to it.

    If you have any doubts at the end of your trial period, you should stop for a few days and go back to your usual operating mode and evaluate the difference from an objective distance. They keyword here is objective. It’s really important, especially when it comes to beliefs and perception of reality, that you find some level of objectivity (even though you’ll still be seeing the world from a skewed point of view, I know, I know). In this case objectivity is derived from detaching your emotions from your analysis.

    Next time: you’ve found your limiting belief of the day and want to exchange it for a new one. We’ll look at how to make this daunting goal a reality.

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    Joel Falconer

    Editor, content marketer, product manager and writer with 12+ years of experience in the startup, design and tech digital media industries.

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    Last Updated on June 26, 2020

    How to Stay Motivated and Reach Your Big Goals in Life

    How to Stay Motivated and Reach Your Big Goals in Life

    It is hardly a secret that the key to successfully accomplishing one goal after another is staying motivated. There are, of course, tasks which successful people may not like at all, yet they find motivation to complete them because they recognize how each particular task serves a greater goal.

    So how to stay motivated most of the time? Here are 5 simple yet effective ways on how to be motivated and get what you want:

    1. Find Your Good Reasons

    Anything you do, no matter how simple, has a number of good reasons behind it.

    You may not be able to find good reasons to do some tasks at first but, if you take just a few moments to analyze them, you will easily spot something good. We also have many tasks which don’t need any reasoning at all – we’ve been doing them for so long that they feel natural.

    If you’re ever stuck with some tasks you hate and there seems to be no motivation to complete it whatsoever, here’s what you need to do: find your good reasons.

    Even when you set goals, there needs to be reasons behind these goals. They may not be obvious, but stay at it until you see some, as this will bring your motivation back and will help you finish the task.

    Some ideas for what a good reason can be:

    • A material reward – quite often, you will get paid for doing something you normally don’t like doing at all.
    • Personal gain – you will learn something new or will perhaps improve yourself in a certain way.
    • A feeling of accomplishment – at least you’ll be able to walk away feeling great about finding the motivation and courage to complete such a tedious task.
    • A step closer to your bigger goal – even the biggest accomplishments in history have started small and relied on simple and far less pleasant tasks than you might be working on. Every task you complete brings you closer to the ultimate goal, and acknowledging this always feels good.

    Here’re 9 Types of Motivation That Make It Possible to Reach Your Dreams.

    2. Make It Fun

    When it comes to motivation, attitude is everything. Different people may have completely opposite feelings towards the same task: some will hate it, others will love it.

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    Why do you think this happens? It’s simple: some of us find ways to make any task interesting and fun to do!

    Take sports for example. Visiting your local gym daily for a half-an-hour workout session sounds rather boring to some. Yet many others love the idea!

    They like exercising not only because they recognize the good reasons behind it, but simply because it’s fun! At certain time of their daily schedule, they find going to gym to be the best thing to do, simply because nothing else will fit their time and lifestyle so perfectly.

    Depending on how you look at it, you can have fun doing just about anything! Just look for ways of having fun, and you’ll find them!

    A simple approach is to start working on any task by asking yourself a few questions:

    • How can I enjoy this task?
    • What can I do to make this task fun for myself and possibly for others?
    • How can I make this work the best part of my day?

    As long as you learn to have the definite expectation of any task being potentially enjoyable, you will start to feel motivated.

    Some of you will probably think of a thing or two which are valid exceptions from this statement, like something you always hate doing no matter how hard you try making it fun. You’re probably right, and that’s why I don’t claim everything to be fun.

    However, most tasks have a great potential of being enjoyable, and so looking for ways to have fun while working is definitely a good habit to acquire.

    3. Change Your Approach And Don’t Give Up

    When something doesn’t feel right, it’s always a good time to take a moment and look for a different approach for the task.

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    You may be doing everything correctly and most efficiently, but such approach isn’t necessarily the most motivating one. Quite often, you can find a number of obvious tweaks to your current approach which will both change your experience and open up new possibilities.

    That’s why saying “one way or another” is so common — if you really want to accomplish your goal, there is always a way; and most likely, there’s more than one way.

    If a certain approach doesn’t work for you, find another one, and keep trying until you find the one which will both keep you motivated and get you the desired results.

    Some people think that trying a different approach means giving up. They take pride in being really stubborn and refusing to try any other options on their way towards the goal.

    My opinion on this is that the power of focus is great, but you should be focusing on your goal, and not limiting your options by focusing on just one way to accomplish it it.

    4. Recognize Your Progress

    Everything you may be working on can be easily split into smaller parts and stages. For most goals, it is quite natural to split the process of accomplishing them into smaller tasks and milestones. There are a few reasons behind doing this, and one of them is tracking your progress.

    We track our progress automatically with most activities. But to stay motivated, you need to recognize your progress, not merely track it.

    Here’s how tracking and recognizing your progress is different:

    Tracking is merely taking a note of having reached a certain stage in your process. Recognizing is taking time to look at a bigger picture and realize where exactly you are, and how much more you have left to do.

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    For example, if you’re going to read a book, always start by going through the contents table. Getting familiar with chapter titles and memorizing their total number will make it easier for you to recognize your progress as you read. Confirming how many pages your book has before starting it is also a good idea.

    You see, reading any book you will be automatically looking at page numbers and chapter titles, but without knowing the total number of pages, this information will have little meaning.

    Somehow, it is human nature to always want things to happen in short term or even at once. Even though we split complex tasks into simpler actions, we don’t quite feel the satisfaction until all is done and the task is fully complete.

    For many scenarios though, the task is so vast that such approach will drain all the motivation out of you long before you have a chance to reach your goal. That’s why it is important to always take small steps and recognize the positive different and progress made. This is how your motivation can sustain in long term.

    5. Reward Yourself

    This is a trick everyone likes: rewarding yourself is always pleasant. This is also one of the easiest and at the same time most powerful ways to stay motivated!

    Feeling down about doing something? Dread the idea of working on some task? Hate the whole idea of working? You’re not alone.

    Right from the beginning, agree on some deliverables which will justify yourself getting rewarded. As soon as you get one of the agreed results, take time to reward yourself in some way.

    For some tasks, just taking a break and relaxing for a few minutes will do.

    For others, you may want to get a fresh cup of coffee and even treat yourself a dessert.

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    For even bigger and more demanding tasks, reward yourself by doing something even more enjoyable, like going to a cinema or taking a trip to some place nice, or even buying yourself something.

    Your progress may not seem to others like anything worth celebrating but, take time and do it anyway! It is your task and your reward, so any ways to stay motivated are good.

    The more you reward yourself for the honestly made progress, the more motivated you will feel about reaching new milestones, thus finally accomplishing your goal.

    Mix and Match for the Best Effect!

    Now that you have these five ways of staying motivated, it is a good moment to give you the key to them all: mix and match!

    Pick one of the techniques and apply it to your situation. If it doesn’t work, or if you simply want to get more motivated, try another technique right away. Mix different approaches and match them to your task for the best results.

    Just think about it: Finding good reasons to work on your task is bound to helping you feel better; and identifying ways to make it fun will help you enjoy the task even more.

    Or, if you plan a few points for easier tracking of your progress and on top of that, agree on rewarding yourself as you go; this will make you feel most motivated about anything you have to work through.

    More Tips to Boost Your Motivation

    Featured photo credit: Lucas Lenzi via unsplash.com

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