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Why Your Silly Bucket List is Holding You Back

Why Your Silly Bucket List is Holding You Back

Have you ever heard someone say, “That’s going on my bucket list.” Usually these words are uttered after someone hears or thinks of some incredibly awesome experience they’d like to have.

But if we think about the words “bucket list” what comes to mind?

It makes me think of someone who has their best years behind them, and is trying to capture a little bit more life before their time on this planet is gone. They’re probably still having fun, but they can’t help but think they wish they had done all of these things while they were younger and able to enjoy them more.

It makes me think of someone who has no sense of urgency or accomplishment. They’re trying to achieve these things “before they die.”

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It’s no secret that we are best motivated to accomplish things when we have a deadline. What kind of deadline is before we die?

That, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not have some of the best experiences of my life when I’m not able to enjoy them and when I’m worried about how much money I have left to live on.

I’m one of those people who has a vision that there’s always a better way to do things, and there’s definitely a better way to do the bucket list.

So that’s why I recommend a different way to think about the bucket list.

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  • A way that allows you to enjoy the most awesome experiences of your life thoroughly
  • A way that pushes you to excel while you’re young
  • A way that will allow you to lead a lifetime of achievement
  • And a way that won’t leave you wondering if you can complete everything you want to do while you’re still alive

Enter, the “Life List”

A life list is a bucket list, turned on its ugly head.

You strive to complete it before a certain point in your life, such as before the age of 30, 35, or 40 or maybe in the next three years – not before you die. You can set your own goal.

This completely changes your mindset about the accomplishments within. Instead of putting these amazing experience off until you’re old and decrepit, you go after them full throttle now.

You push yourself to the level of success that is required for you to make enough money to carry out these dreams.

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And when you’re done, you do it all over again, and you do it even better than you did before. You continue to improve yourself and your life, and when you finally do come to the end of your rope, you’ve lived an amazing life full of amazing experiences. You have no regrets, and you have a lifetime of achievement to look back on.

You accomplished all of this because you didn’t wait until you were about to die to have the most amazing experiences of your life.

You made a life list, you went after it, and you lived the life of your dreams.

Go, Create Your Life List

If you already have a bucket list, take that “before you die” deadline and change it to the next three years, the next five years, or some feasible period of time that isn’t before you die.

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If you don’t, sit down and create one.  (Ed: We’re building Listible to help you create lists) Figure out all of those things you want to do before you die. Think big. Push yourself. Envision a life of success that will allow you to get there.

Now push yourself to figure out how you’re going to make it all happen.

And live the life of your dreams.

Your thoughts: Do you still think each of us should have a bucket list?

Featured photo credit:  rope jumping via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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