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Would You Do It All Over Again?

Would You Do It All Over Again?


    It’s a rather abstract question isn’t it? But give it a fair chance.

    A few weeks ago I got into an interesting conversation with a fine gentleman about career paths and life in general. He was a retired pilot who seemed to have enjoyed every moment of his flying career. As I was telling him about what I did in my professional life he simply looked me in the eye and asked “Would you do it all over again?”

    For a moment his question completely startled me. Would I, I wondered. And then there was a silent pause in my ever rushing mind. I didn’t know. Maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t.

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    Being the right brain dominant person that I am, I noticed my mind contemplate endless possibilities as it tried to come to a conclusion for this gentleman. But alas, all decision making algorithms and techniques failed miserably in my moment of distress.

    This made me wonder if this decision was for the mind in the first place. The answer to his question had to be out of pure instincts, either an instantaneous screaming “Yes, in a heartbeat” or an unappetizing uncertainty where a lot is revealed in the silence itself.

    As I pondered over this in more detail I realised that this question could be applied to every single aspect of our lives and even beyond. Would we do the things we are currently doing if we were given a second chance? Most of our responses will vary from an absolute yes to a maybe and even abrupt no’s depending on the situation itself.

    But think about it, if we wouldn’t want to do something again, what is our excuse to continue doing it in the first place?

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    As you ask yourself this, I’m certain that a never ending list of excuses will pop into your mind. Only if things were different or if you had less responsibilities, only if someone else didn’t treat you this way, only if something hadn’t happened…. The list is endless and the more you let yourself indulge in it the stronger and more encapsulating the web becomes.

    Just like the quote says:

    “You can either have a good excuse or a good result.”

    Which one do you have?

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    Could we possibly dare to consider a new day as a second chance? A chance to start all over again and do things how you’d always wished you did. Another chance to have the courage to turn around? A chance to be true to yourself before you satisfy others expectations?

    Sometimes we continue to do things simply because we feel obligated to the decisions we made or the paths we choose. We associate ourselves to our successes and our failures and subconsciously hold them tight.

    For example, consider how we introduce ourselves to a new acquaintance. “Hi I’m Adam, Marketing director of ABC Corp and a Harvard graduate.” Now what if Adam feels unfulfilled in his marketing profession? Letting go of his job would almost mean letting go of his identity. We continue to work in unfulfilling careers because we feel obligated to our investment in the education we obtained.

    From careers to relationships and materialistic possessions, somehow instead of things adding to our identity they become our identity.

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    Why should a failure prevent you from an upcoming success and why should a success that adds no meaning to your life anymore hold you from venturing out and trying something different?

    Though we might blame external sources for our current state, in reality it is nothing else but our own self imposed restrictions that hinder our ability to create change. The key here is to accept responsibilities of your choices and allow yourself to alter the ones that don’t make you smile anymore.

    So…..would you do it all over again?

    (Photo credit: Second Chance Avenue via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on February 15, 2019

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

    And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

    Why is goal setting important?

    1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

    Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

    For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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    Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

    After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

    So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

    2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

    The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

    The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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    We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

    What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

    3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

    We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

    Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

    But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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    What you truly want and need

    Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

    Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

    Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

    When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

    Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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    Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

    Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

    Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

    The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

    It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

    Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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