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Why You Shouldn’t Judge Something that You Do it Once Only

Why You Shouldn’t Judge Something that You Do it Once Only

Meet Harry. He has just bought a smart phone and he is enthusiastic about it. He has read so many great reviews on the Internet about it that he wanted to get one too.

He goes home, unwraps the product box and starts to charge his phone’s battery. After a couple of hours, Harry is ready to start using the phone and get rid of his old one.

Except…there is a problem.

Harry turns the phone on, but after testing it for 30 minutes, he has already made an opinion of his new phone: it’s the worst phone he has ever had and it’s very difficult to use.

In fact, he decides to take his old phone back to use, and to go to the phone store and return his new phone where he bought it from.

Yes, he has made his opinion about the new phone and he is not going to touch the piece of junk anymore.

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Also, he decides to call his friends and warn about that particular phone model – that it’s faulty and they shouldn’t buy it either.

Harry feels upset and annoyed because of this phone episode.

Superficial and too quick

The situation that Harry faced wasn’t anything unique – it happens every day. And no, I’m not just talking about returning a smartphone back to where it was purchased from – I’m talking about the bigger picture.

The big picture is that people tend to judge something too fast – by testing or experiencing something only once.

Unfortunately, even this brief experience gives people enough confidence to claim that they know what they are talking about, even though they have only scratched the surface of the matter.

Testing and doing something only once is only going to give you a superficial experience at best, so shouting and complaining (or in the opposite, endorsing something) is not a reasonable strategy to follow.

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Why we don’t have the patience of experiencing the thing thoroughly – and only then telling others our opinions about it?

Should Harry take an attitude check?

I’d start finding answers to Harry’s behaviour from his attitude.

He expects that everything should work smoothly from the get-go. When thing aren’t going like he wants, he decides to blame the situation – instead of looking at himself in the mirror.

Also, he should understand that in order to form a thorough experience of something, doing something only once is not enough. It takes more time to get the proper experiences and only after that is it  reasonable to form an opinion about it.

Finally, the internal resistance is preventing him from testing the device any further. Once the opinion of that phone is formed, there isn’t any way to change his opinion.

Surely the phone isn’t getting going to get any better, no matter how much it’s tested. At least this is how Harry thinks.

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Give enough time to see how things turn out

When you are facing a situation like Harry did (with a phone or with anything else), take a different route than what he did.

Make sure to test the new thing/thought/concept long enough, so that you can have a comprehensive experience about it – before judging or endorsing it. Don’t just do it once and say that a thing did or didn’t work.

When you have a proper experience of something, only then do you really know what you are talking about.

It’s also worth remembering that even if the thing doesn’t work for you, it can work well for someone else. The way you experience something can be totally different from someone else’s situation.

Finally, when testing and experiencing the new thing/concept, measure the benefits and disadvantages in your daily life. This way you can give an honest view to yourself (and other people) about the matter – instead of forming an opinion too fast.

My “Don’t Judge Too Fast” blueprint for Harry and the rest of us”

Remember these key points until making your final opinion about the matter:

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  1. Take time. Don’t just try something only once in 30 minutes like Harry did. Instead, spend more time with a thing – on a continuous basis – and then form your opinion. The time spent in testing the thing/concept depends naturally on what you are testing, but it could be anything from a couple of days to weeks, sometimes to even months.
  2. Be patient and persistent. Understand that forming a comprehensive enough experience about something takes time. That’s why you need patience and must be persistent, until you can finally form your opinion.
  3. Measure the results. Do you know how this new idea/thing/concept has improved your life? Or did it decrease the quality of your life? After some testing, you start to see the benefits and disadvantages. Only after that can you weigh both sides and decide what you feel about the thing.
  4. It’s only your experience. When telling others about the matter, make sure to let them know this was just your experience of it. We are all individuals and our requirements differ. What might not work for your, can work for someone else.
  5. It gets easier every time. The more you spend time with the thing/concept, the more familiar and comfortable you’ll become with it. This means that the negative opinions you had in the beginning might be already forgotten, since you see things differently now.
  6. Share your feedback. If you form a negative view on the matter – even after extensive testing – let the source know about it, so that further improvements can be made.

For instance, if there is an issue with your laptop, let the manufacturer know about it so that it can be fixed. Or, if you think that a certain piece of software would be easier to use after a small tweak, send the developer some e-mail and explain the situation.

Too many times we tend to judge something too fast. Sometimes we might test the thing only once and we are ready to form an opinion about it.

Unfortunately, this is not a proper strategy to follow and instead, you should be willing to spend more time with the thing or idea, until you can objectively say if it’s good or bad.

Take some time to experience the thing thoroughly. Only after that, let others know what you think about it. And even then, emphasize the fact that this is only your experience about the topic.

Over to you: How do you make sure you aren’t judging something too fast?

Featured photo credit: American football on field via Shutterstock

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Timo Kiander

Productivity Author and Founder of Productive Superdad

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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