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Why Finding Your Passion is a Myth

Why Finding Your Passion is a Myth


    We all have read a lot of articles on how to find your passion in life. From personality tests and questionnaires to life experiences and career advice, even I left no avenue untouched.

    They say to look for hints around you, ask your friends and family for advice and put yourself out there, open to new experiences that take you outside your comfort zone and I’ve got to admit, I’ve done it all. I’ve even managed to dissect my personality into numerous letter codes like INFP and INTP, but even these weren’t good enough to satisfy my hunger to know it all.

    For the most of us, discovering our passions isn’t as easy as getting a degree or finding a job. It’s a rather tiring and patience enduring process, with absolutely no assurance that you’ll get somewhere, or anywhere as a matter of fact.

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    Though what struck me the other day was the fact that for all these years I’ve been searching for my passion. I’ve been trying to find clues and road maps, how to guides or even a magic wand that gives me all the directions I need. Somehow the present me has been trying to find the future me, not create it.

    But how can I find something that doesn’t exist yet?

    It’s like having all the colors on your palette and a blank canvas in front of you while you simply sit still, waiting for the painting to appear.

    Sounds silly doesn’t it? But that’s the rut a lot of us are stuck in. We are constantly in search of something not realizing that all the pieces of the puzzle are within us. We can choose to put them together how ever our hearts desire, for the first time, there are no wrong answers.

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    Different colors on our palette are simply the things we love vs. the things we absolutely despise. We know what makes us smile and what makes our heart ache instead. Our blank canvas is our entire life ahead of us starting from this very moment, simply waiting for us to fill it with our favourite colors making it what ever we want it to be.

    Therefore after years of running around in circles and being disheartened over and over again, it finally hit me: I can be whoever I want to be. A magician, dancer, research scientist, barista, graffiti artist or a bear hugger — anything. Anything at all.

    Yes, we all have limitations. And we have responsibilities to fulfill. But where’s the challenge and the thrill of accomplishment if the road is too easy, right? The problem arises when we feel stuck within and are unable to identify what it is that our heart truly desires.

    Here are 3 quick and simple ways to overcome the self critique and the endless chatter in your mind and start listening to your true self. You don’t have to do them all, just pick one or alternate from one to another.

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    Write Everyday

    It’s called garbage writing by some and that’s precisely what it really is. This is a simple way to let the clutter out of your overworked mind once a day. There are no magical revelations to be looked for or some mind boggling truth about the world. Think of it as a mind cleanse, something you do to get rid of the old…and get ready for the new.

    Date Yourself

    Everyone needs a timeout and so do you. Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy a fabulous meal with yourself or a walk by the beach at least once a week. The only rule is that you can not take anyone along. No friends, no acquaintances, only unfamiliar faces are allowed: maybe try something new like a salsa class or a martial art lesson. Its all about doing something you enjoy and having a great time.

    Be Still

    Spend 10 minutes everyday to just be. You don’t have to meditate or pray or do anything for that matter. Don’t even try to control your thoughts, but accept them the way they are. Don’t evaluate, don’t analyse, don’t create and nor should you try to erase them, just let them float through your mind, appearing and disappearing into thin air.

    These are some fabulous techniques to open the communication channel between the worldly you and soulful you, two of which are also suggested by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way. All you need to do is pay closer attention to yourself and what is innately you will emerge from in between all the clutter.

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    Just like wizards, magic exists in our fingertips. What colors are you going to add to your canvas today?

    (Photo credit: Empty Treasure Chest via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on January 3, 2020

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

    The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

    1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

    Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

     I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

    To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

    And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

     2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

    Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

    3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

    Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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    4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

    The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

    5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

    Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

    6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

    Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

    7. Positive people smile a lot!

    When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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    8. People who are positive are great communicators.

    They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

    9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

    One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

    10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

    Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

    How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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    I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

    Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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