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How to Create Your Life Story Exactly How You Want it to Be

How to Create Your Life Story Exactly How You Want it to Be

We all have a life story we’re trying to live. But the thing is that we never know how long we have to tell it, meaning it’s that much more challenging to create your life story as you want it to be.

For example, I’m sure you’ve heard that the world is going to end this year. Well…probably. Okay…maybe not.

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There is quite a bit of debate about it, but I think most agree that it probably isn’t going to literally end. It may, instead, be the end of an era.

But what if the world really did end on December 21? Where would you want to be? Who would you want to spend your last few minutes with? What would you want to be doing?

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you wouldn’t want to be fighting with your spouse. Or yelling at your kids, or doing something mundane like watching old reruns on TV. You would like to be doing something significant and meaningful. You would like to have a special moment.

And who says you will? Statistics.

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If you spend a lot of time currently fighting with your spouse or engaging in power struggles, pushing their buttons or bumping heads, statistics says there’s a very high probability you will die that way. If you spend more time thinking loving thoughts about your spouse and you frequently show your appreciation for him/her, then that is more likely to be the theme playing out when the world ends. If you work a lot, frankly, you’re pretty likely to die at your desk checking email. >shudder<

Activities you do frequently become habits. Breaking a habit takes a concerted effort. All activities have attitudes behind them, and those attitudes are fueled by beliefs. Beliefs are simply thoughts that you keep thinking, so why not change your thoughts? What attitudes or beliefs might be making you do the things you do?

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Suppose you often fight with your spouse and you love to push his/her buttons. However, you can see that once you get going, he/she pushes yours and the two of you end up fighting. What attitude is behind your desire to push those buttons? Are you simply looking for a reaction? Are you angry about something else you are afraid to talk to him/her about? Are you frustrated with the lack of control you feel you have in your life? Are you frustrated because you feel like you are being manipulated? Spend a few minutes and boldly go where you haven’t gone before — what are the attitudes or beliefs behind your actions? (Don’t get sidetracked trying to analyze your spouse.)

Once you see a belief, you can look it in the eye and decide if you want to keep it. Beliefs, although often handed down to us from our parents, are optional. You can choose what you want to continue to believe and what beliefs you want to change. They are not facts! You can change a belief at any time, and if you want to do so, you have several options. You can punch holes in the belief with facts or things you know to be true. Ultimately, you will have to think new thoughts to counter the belief and replace it. Every time it pops up, you will need to remind yourself of your new thoughts/belief, so make some notes to yourself and do some journaling. This is similar to breaking a habit, and it could take up to three weeks to change, but keep at it.

Whether or not the world ends in December or not, we will all have a moment when it’s time for us to go. Death is a part of life, and life is all about the invisible treasures — sweet moments with loved ones, memories of happy times and silly kids. You have the power to create your life story — and death story — exactly how you want it to be.

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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