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How to Create Your Life Story Exactly How You Want it to Be

How to Create Your Life Story Exactly How You Want it to Be

We all have a life story we’re trying to live. But the thing is that we never know how long we have to tell it, meaning it’s that much more challenging to create your life story as you want it to be.

For example, I’m sure you’ve heard that the world is going to end this year. Well…probably. Okay…maybe not.

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There is quite a bit of debate about it, but I think most agree that it probably isn’t going to literally end. It may, instead, be the end of an era.

But what if the world really did end on December 21? Where would you want to be? Who would you want to spend your last few minutes with? What would you want to be doing?

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you wouldn’t want to be fighting with your spouse. Or yelling at your kids, or doing something mundane like watching old reruns on TV. You would like to be doing something significant and meaningful. You would like to have a special moment.

And who says you will? Statistics.

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If you spend a lot of time currently fighting with your spouse or engaging in power struggles, pushing their buttons or bumping heads, statistics says there’s a very high probability you will die that way. If you spend more time thinking loving thoughts about your spouse and you frequently show your appreciation for him/her, then that is more likely to be the theme playing out when the world ends. If you work a lot, frankly, you’re pretty likely to die at your desk checking email. >shudder<

Activities you do frequently become habits. Breaking a habit takes a concerted effort. All activities have attitudes behind them, and those attitudes are fueled by beliefs. Beliefs are simply thoughts that you keep thinking, so why not change your thoughts? What attitudes or beliefs might be making you do the things you do?

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Suppose you often fight with your spouse and you love to push his/her buttons. However, you can see that once you get going, he/she pushes yours and the two of you end up fighting. What attitude is behind your desire to push those buttons? Are you simply looking for a reaction? Are you angry about something else you are afraid to talk to him/her about? Are you frustrated with the lack of control you feel you have in your life? Are you frustrated because you feel like you are being manipulated? Spend a few minutes and boldly go where you haven’t gone before — what are the attitudes or beliefs behind your actions? (Don’t get sidetracked trying to analyze your spouse.)

Once you see a belief, you can look it in the eye and decide if you want to keep it. Beliefs, although often handed down to us from our parents, are optional. You can choose what you want to continue to believe and what beliefs you want to change. They are not facts! You can change a belief at any time, and if you want to do so, you have several options. You can punch holes in the belief with facts or things you know to be true. Ultimately, you will have to think new thoughts to counter the belief and replace it. Every time it pops up, you will need to remind yourself of your new thoughts/belief, so make some notes to yourself and do some journaling. This is similar to breaking a habit, and it could take up to three weeks to change, but keep at it.

Whether or not the world ends in December or not, we will all have a moment when it’s time for us to go. Death is a part of life, and life is all about the invisible treasures — sweet moments with loved ones, memories of happy times and silly kids. You have the power to create your life story — and death story — exactly how you want it to be.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

Ebb and flow. Contraction and expansion. Highs and lows. It’s all about the cycles of life.

The entire course of our life follows this up and down pattern of more and then less. Our days flow this way, each following a pattern of more energy, then less energy, more creativity and periods of greater focus bookended by moments of low energy when we cringe at the thought of one more meeting, one more call, one more sentence.

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The key is in understanding how to use the cycles of ebb and flow to our advantage. The ability to harness these fluctuations, understand how they affect our productivity and mood and then apply that knowledge as a tool to improve our lives is a valuable strategy that few individuals or corporations have mastered.

Here are a few simple steps to start using this strategy today:

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Review Your Past Flow

Take just a few minutes to look back at how your days and weeks have been unfolding. What time of the day are you the most focused? Do you prefer to be more social at certain times of the day? Do you have difficulty concentrating after lunch or are you energized? Are there days when you can’t seem to sit still at your desk and others when you could work on the same project for hours?

Do you see a pattern starting to emerge? Eventually you will discover a sort of map or schedule that charts your individual productivity levels during a given day or week.  That’s the first step. You’ll use this information to plan your days going forward.

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Schedule According to Your Flow Pattern

Look at the types of things you do each day…each week. What can you move around so that it’s a better fit for you? Can you suggest to your team that you schedule meetings for late morning if you can’t stand to be social first thing? Can you schedule detailed project work or highly creative tasks, like writing or designing when you are best able to focus? How about making sales calls or client meetings on days when you are the most social and leaving billing or reports until another time when you are able to close your door and do repetitive tasks.

Keep in mind that everyone is different and some things are out of our control. Do what you can. You might be surprised at just how flexible clients and managers can be when they understand that improving your productivity will result in better outcomes for them.

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Account for Big Picture Fluctuations

Look at the bigger picture. Consider what happens during different months or times during the year. Think about what is going on in the other parts of your life. When is the best time for you to take on a new project, role or responsibility? Take into account other commitments that zap your energy. Do you have a sick parent, a spouse who travels all the time or young children who demand all of your available time and energy?

We all know people who ignore all of this advice and yet seem to prosper and achieve wonderful success anyway, but they are usually the exception, not the rule. For most of us, this habitual tendency to force our bodies and our brains into patterns of working that undermine our productivity result in achieving less than desired results and adding more stress to our already overburdened lives.

Why not follow the ebb and flow of your life instead of fighting against it?

    Featured photo credit: Nathan Dumlao via unsplash.com

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