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What Can We Learn From Children?

What Can We Learn From Children?
You can learn a lot from children

A lot! Although most of the time they seem like little devils, children are true angels that teach us a lot about how we can better our life. Yes, most of the time they don’t have a clue as to what they are doing, but unknowingly and without a clue they allow us to explore things that we tend to forget as we grow into adulthood.

There is a reason we call them a gift from god. They allow us to better our life, see the good things in life and just take each day with a smile. Watching my own kids I have been able to learn some things that has helped me take a new look on life itself. I would like to share some of the things I have learned from them on this post.

What Day Is It?

Everyday a child wakes up, it’s a new day for him, a whole new world to explore. The curiosity to find out new things, the enthusiasm, the energy with the start of each new day is just breathtaking.

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We as adults have seem to lost this energy, curiosity and enthusiasm. This is one thing we could definitely learn from children to make our life better and manage it well. Starting each day with a smile can change the way we do things on that particular day. So next time you wake up just think of yourself as a 5 year old child, your day will start out better, you will have a smile on your face and the energy and enthusiasm restored during your sleep will be ready to take off. It’s a new day, It’s a new world. Explore the possibilities!

Can I Do It My Way?

Sometimes the best way to do things is to do it differently. Have you ever watched a 3-year old try and do things? It’s different isn’t it? I am not sure what goes into a 3-year old’s mind but it seems like they usually get what they want, and most of the time because they took the route we adults usually hesitate to.

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Sometimes breaking the rules helps. The “Do Not Rock The Boat” phrase doesn’t apply to children as they are always ready to rock the boat and try to get things done. We adults seem to be so engaged in doing things a certain way, we tend to forget that there are other ways to get things done. Learn from the children and break the rules every once in a while, as long as you can get something done effectively without any adverse effects.

Are We There Yet?

Probably one of the most annoying questions they ask while you are trying to get somewhere, but there is a different way to look at it as well. What is it that drives a child to ask these question time after time when going to their grandparents or to a children show? It’s the passion, the desire, the curiosity as to what might be different than last time.

We need to ask these questions to ourselves every once in a while. Are we there yet? It might be a business we want to start or a project that we want to get done, but how exactly are we going to get there? The answer lies within you and only you. Next time you get into a comfort zone with your business just take some time to ask yourself, “Am I there yet?” If not, try a different route, take a different approach and rock the boat and get to your destination – faster!

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Can I Have It?

Next time you put your hands on your head and wonder why you can’t have what you want, remember what you just told your child. Every time you are walking by a toy aisle at a store, your child yells “Mom, can I have it?” You say “No!” What does the child do? He sits, maybe cries for a couple minutes and then simply forgets.

Although there are a lot of things we would like to achieve, like that million dollar mansion and a private jet, it doesn’t necessarily mean we deserve or need it. We don’t always get what we want. Life goes on and it’s just another day. So forget what you don’t have and focus on what you do. Just look at the child sitting in your cart who was crying minutes ago, he is now smiling and playing with the toy he brought from home. We need to realize we can’t have everything, a child learns it from us and we need to learn it from them. It’s a cycle!

I have been fortunate to have four children. Yes, it is a constant struggle and I have become a time and management juggler but they are the ones who teach me the most valuable lessons in life. They are the best teachers, the perfect mentors! I am looking forward to more years of learning from them — I have got a lot to soak up!

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What about you?

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Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

There are many reasons why people might scream – they’re angry, scared, or in pain (or maybe they’re in a metal band!). Some might say that screaming is bad, but here’s why science says it’s good for you.

“For the first time in the history of psychology there is a way to access feelings, hidden away, in a safe way and thus to reduce human suffering. It is, in essence, the first science of psychotherapy.” — Dr. Arthur Janov

Primal Therapy

Dr. Arthur Janov invented Primal Therapy in the late 1960’s. It is a practice that allows the patient to face their repressed emotions from past trauma head on and let those emotions go. This treatment is intended to cure any mental illness the patient may have that surfaced from this past trauma. In most cases, Primal Therapy has lead Dr. Janov’s patients to scream towards the end of their session, though it was not part of the original procedure. During a group therapy session that was at a standstill, Dr. Janov says that one of his patients, a student he called Danny, told a story that inspired him to implement a technique that he never would have thought of on his own.

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How it Started

“During a lull in our group therapy session, he told us a story about a man named Ortiz who was currently doing an act on the London stage in which he paraded around in diapers drinking bottles of milk. Throughout his number, Ortiz is shouting, ‘Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!’ at the top of his lungs. At the end of his act he vomits. Plastic bags are passed out, and the audience is requested to follow suit.”

It doesn’t end there, though. Dr. Janov said that his patient was quite fascinated with that story, and that alone moved him to suggest something even he believed to be a little elementary.

“I asked him to call out, ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ Danny refused, saying that he couldn’t see the sense in such a childish act, and frankly, neither could I. But I persisted, and finally, he gave in. As he began, he became noticeably upset. Suddenly he was writhing on the floor in agony. His breathing was rapid, spasmodic. ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ came out of his mouth almost involuntarily in loud screeches. He appeared to be in a coma or hypnotic state. The writhing gave way to small convulsions, and finally, he released a piercing, deathlike scream that rattled the walls of my office. The entire episode lasted only a few minutes, and neither Danny nor I had any idea what had happened. All he could say afterward was: ‘I made it! I don’t know what, but I can feel.’”

Delving deeper

Dr. Janov says he was baffled for months, but then he decided to experiment with another patient with the same method, which lead to a similar result as before. The patient started out calling “Mommy! Daddy!” then experienced convulsions, heavy breathing, and then eventually screamed. After the session, Dr. Janov says his patient was transformed and became “virtually another human being. He became alert… he seemed to understand himself.”

Although the initial intention of this particular practice wasn’t to get the patient to scream, more than once did his Primal Therapy sessions end with the patient screaming and feeling lighter, revived, and relieved of stresses that were holding them down in life.

Some Methods To Practice Screaming

If you want to try it out for yourself, keep reading!

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  • Step 1: Be Alone — Be alone. If you live in a place that you can’t be alone, it might be a good idea to talk to your family or roommates and explain to them what you’re about to do and make sure they’re okay with it. If you’re good to go, move on to step 2.
  • Step 2: Lie Down — Lie down on a yoga mat on your back and place a pillow underneath your head. If you don’t own a yoga mat, you can use a rug or even a soft blanket.
  • Step 3: Think — Think of things that have hurt you or made you angry. It can be anything from your childhood or even something that happened recently to make yourself cry, if you’re not already crying or upset. You could even scream “Mommy! Daddy!” just like Dr. Janov’s patients did to get yourself started.
  • Step 4: Scream — Don’t hold anything back; cry and scream as loud as you can. You can also pound your fists on the ground, or just lie there and scream at the top of your lungs.

After this, you should return your breathing to a normal and steady pace. You should feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off of you. If not, you can also try these other methods.

Scream Sing

Scream singing” is referring to what a lot of lead singers in metal or screamo bands will do. I’ve tried it and although I wasn’t very good at it, it was fun and definitely relieved me of any stress I was feeling from before. It usually ends up sounding like a really loud grunt, but nonetheless, it’s considered screaming.

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  • Step 1 — Bear down and make a grunting sound.
  • Step 2 — Hiss like a snake and make sure to do this from your diaphragm (your stomach) for as long as you can.
  • Step 3 — Breathe and push your stomach out for more air when you are belting notes, kind of like you would if you were singing.
  • Step 4 — Try different ways to let out air to control how long the note will last, just make sure not to let out too much air.
  • Step 5 — Distort your voice by pushing air out from your throat, just be careful not to strain yourself.
  • Step 6 — Play around with the pitch of your screams and how wide your mouth is open – the wider your mouth is open, the higher the screams will sound. The narrower or rounder your mouth is (and most likely shaped like an “o”), the lower the screams will sound.
  • Step 7 — Start screaming to metal music. If you’re not a huge metal fan, it’s okay. You don’t have to use this method if you don’t want to.

If you want a more thorough walkthrough of how to scream sing, here’s a good video tutorial. If this method is too strenuous on your vocal chords, stop. Also, make sure to stay hydrated when scream singing and drink lots of water.

Scream into a pillow

Grab a pillow and scream into it. This method is probably the fastest and easiest way to practice screaming. Just make sure to come up for air.

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Always remember to make sure that you’re not going to disturb anyone while practicing any of these methods of screaming. And with that, happy screaming!

Featured photo credit: Sharon Mollerus via flickr.com

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