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What’s Your Brand of Courage?

What’s Your Brand of Courage?
    Photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski (CC BY-SA 2.0)

    Starting a business takes courage. You have to do the job of six people at once, deal with income that is variable at best, and non-existent at worst, and face all the other risks that come with walking where most others don’t dare to tread.

    But that’s old news – anyone who’s been doing this for any length of time knows what’s involved, and has chosen to keep on going. So the question is: Why is it so hard? Why is it that in spite of the good days and the successes, there are so many nights that we feel tired and beaten, wondering where our courage has gone?

    The answer is that the courage you need to get started is very different from the courage that you need to keep on going. When you’re just starting out, you need courage that is flashy and fiery – the kind that involves great leaps and inspiring speeches. To keep on going, you need a much less dramatic courage in the face of a far more exhausting reality. This kind of courage is much harder to come by.

    Let’s start by understanding what we’re really talking about…

    Flashy and Fiery: Braveheart Courage

    The first kind of courage is Braveheart Courage, which I’ve named after Mel Gibson’s popular film.

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    This is the kind of courage that you read about in storybooks – the courage to take a stand against great adversity, face the monsters and confront overwhelming odds.

    This is the kind of courage that is called for in the darkest moments with the most at stake, and it takes great strength of character to muster it up and get going.

    But while this courage can get you going, it can’t keep you going over a long stretch of time.

    Braveheart Courage is like gearing up to write a term paper in 24 hours; it’s doable, but you can’t keep that pace going for an entire semester – not just because you’ll get tired and run out of steam, but because an entrepreneur’s journey is more like a four year degree program than one brutal weekend of cramming.

    And the degree program calls for a very different kind of courage…

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    Day after Day: Shawshank Courage

    Shawshank courage is the kind of courage exemplified in the Shawshank Redemption.

    In that film, Tim Robbins’ character is convicted of a crime that he didn’t commit, and sentenced to life in prison. Despite losing everything in his life, his spirit never wavers, and he digs his way to freedom, one spoonful of dirt at a time, over the course decades.

    Braveheart Courage can get you to cannonball dive into a cold ocean, but Shawshank Courage will keep you swimming for hours and hours until you make it to shore. We relate best to examples, so here are some examples Shawshank Courage:

    Now tell me – what kind of courage does an entrepreneur need? And which is harder to cultivate?

    I think it’s Shawshank Courage – but where does it come from?

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    “Courage Doesn’t Always Roar…”

    As difficult as it is, there are many wells from which you can draw strength and courage when you don’t have the strength to take even one more hopeless step.

    You can think of your family, friends, business partners, and community – the faith that they’ve placed in you, and the love and support that they offer.

    You can think of those who struggle even harder than you do, against far greater odds, and with far less to work with than you do.

    You can think of what you’re doing it all for – the goals that you want to achieve, the life that you are working to provide for your family, and the impact that you’re trying to make in the world.

    And if all fails, you think of a quote that has held me in very good stead, from Mary Anne Radmacher, who says that “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’.”

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    Write it down, and put it up on your wall. You can even get a fancy, framed version if you like.

    The next time you feel that you need a little help trying again tomorrow, read that note, and remember that this is what courage is really about.

    Then say in a quiet voice that you’ll try again tomorrow.

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    Last Updated on January 3, 2020

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

    The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

    1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

    Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

     I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

    To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

    And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

     2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

    Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

    3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

    Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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    4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

    The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

    5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

    Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

    6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

    Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

    7. Positive people smile a lot!

    When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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    8. People who are positive are great communicators.

    They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

    9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

    One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

    10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

    Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

    How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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    I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

    Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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