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A List with a Twist: The Gift for the Person Who Has it All

A List with a Twist: The Gift for the Person Who Has it All

Gift-giving is no ordinary business, and there is nothing more delightful than giving a gift that makes someone else’s face light up with delight. There are the box gifts where the present is tiny and the box is big and filled with lots of paper, scraps of material, ribbons and string so that it becomes a treasure hunt, or a big box gift filled with lots and lots of small presents that are all related to an activity like a tea set or toy box or a letter-writing set.  There are  funny gifts, food gifts, adventure gifts and activity gifts, and the right gift can be found for everyone if we put some thought into the whole business (or rather art) of giving.

The Difficult Person To Purchase For

Then there are gifts for my friend. She loves debating, thinking about the grey areas in life and weighing each side of an argument . She loves reading, writing and poetry. When it comes to buying her gifts, we start moving into the realm of the impossible. She has the best of everything  in every shape and size possible, so I have to resort to creative genius when it comes to giving her gifts. I have a few other people in my life who fall into this category as well. We all do. They are the ones who we really want to give that extra special gift to, but achieving that is hard.

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Two years ago, I bought this friend an art journal by artist Sabrina Ward Harrison. Instead of giving it to her straight away, I kept it for a while and filled it with my own ramblings, musings and questions. Once I had filled a satisfactory amount of pages to make it feel lived-in, I printed out a number of black-and-white photos which I slipped between the pages. I wrapped it up, placed it in a box and sent it to her. Her reaction was priceless. She set to work almost immediately: answering my questions, posing her own and leaving her doodle markings on every other page. The journal has now crossed the Atlantic twice as we have exchanged it back and forth, filling it with moments and memories. It is starting to bulge in a happy, overflowing kind of way.

One lazy Sunday morning while I was browsing through the bookshelves in Avoca coffee shop I discovered “Listography: Your Life In Lists” by Lisa Nola and Nathaniel Russell. It was a perfect gift for her.

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This is a life list, a legacy and memoir all bundled into page after page of lists. Think: favourite movies, people from history you want to talk to, favourite toys from your childhood, lovers, all the cities you have spent time in and you are only just getting a sneak peek. The book is thick, and trust me, by the time you are done listing all of these things, your life might as well be caught in a snapshot in book-form.

There is a listography app too which means the lists don’t have to be confined to a book but they can accompany everyday activities and travels.

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I haven’t packed and posted this gift yet but my guess is that my friend will enjoy it even more than the previous journal. I cannot wait for her to receive it. And yes, if you think about it, I bought myself a gift too because I get to enjoy all her list musings when she is done.

Seven Questions To Help You Find That Perfect Gift

So, when buying gifts for the friend who has it all, keep the following seven questions in mind:

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  1. What do they love to do? 
  2. What is something they do, that very few people know about?
  3. Can you buy this person a gift that involves you, or someone they love, to enrich the experience?
  4. Will this gift be  a lasting treasure if their children and grandchildren were to discover it one day? 
  5. Will this gift last over time? 
  6. Will this gift create a lasting impression? 
  7. Will this gift create memories? 

Featured photo credit:  christmas woman with gifts box via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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