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The Day I Met Lance Armstrong

The Day I Met Lance Armstrong
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Bike Lane

    So there I was at seven thirty in the a.m., perched on my scooter at an intersection waiting to turn. I was sitting at the lights lost in my own thoughts when all of a sudden I became aware of a presence… no, not a poltergeist; a bloke on a mountain bike had pulled up along side me.

    Three feet away.
    Coulda touched him.
    Game face on… waiting for the green signal.
    Like an Olympian waiting for the starters gun.
    Focused.
    Committed.
    And dressed atrociously.
    Didn’t matter… it’s all about function.
    I actually laughed in my helmet, he looked so funny.
    (No, he didn’t hear me).

    Here’s the picture:
    Chubby guy, maybe thirty five years old and twenty kilos (44lbs) overweight.
    Ten year-old bike (at least) accessorised with one of those white and yellow foam helmets from the eighties strapped too tightly around his unshaven cheeks.
    Kind of like a chubby Adam Sandler.

    Some twenty five year-old sneakers providing a home to two lovely brown business socks!
    A sweat-stained grey training-shirt, not quite covering the totality of his ample tummy.
    Some too-small black track pants revealing some pretty significant (and hairy) calves and just a hint of ass-crack.
    Nice.
    Classy.

    All in all, quite the picture.
    So glad I hadn’t eaten.

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    I looked over at him.
    He looked back.
    I gave the obligatory head nod.
    As us hard-core(!) scooter riders do.
    He looked back, smiled and opened his mouth to speak.

    ‘He’s up for a chat’, I thought.

    I lifted up the visor on my helmet.

    “G’day Mate”.
    “G’day.”
    “How’s the scooter go?”
    “Yeh, pretty well.”
    “That’s what I need; a motor.”
    “You’re doing okay.”
    “I’m givin’ it a crack anyway..”
    “In training for something?”
    “Yep, gettin’ married in six weeks.”
    “How’s the progress?”
    “Great, lost six kilos (13lbs) in three weeks so far.”
    “Good for you man, that’s awesome.”

    He certainly was ‘giving it a crack’ and he turned out to be a really nice guy.

    Just then the lights turned green and a large group of cyclists (all on their five thousand dollar road bikes and clad in the obligatory lycra) sped through the intersection heading into the city. Lance Armstrong (my new friend) and I pulled away from the lights and the funniest thing ever happened… Lance decided that he would attach himself to the back of the peloton (bunch of cyclists) and ride with them!!

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    This was amusing for all kinds of reasons… but here are my top five.

    1. He was out of shape and relatively unfit – they were all serious, fit riders.
    2. His bike was worth fifteen bucks (max), weighed fifty pounds, had knobbies (off-road tyres) and a bell.
    3. They were all ‘in uniform’ and he looked like he’d just escaped from a shelter.
    4. His helmet made him look like he was about to be shot out of a cannon.
    5. He wasn’t one bit worried about what anyone thought – I loved that about him.

    So we were off…
    Lance and I followed the pretty boys on their over-priced ‘Giants’ and ‘Cannondales’ down the road.
    His legs pumped like angry little pistons and I laughed so much that my helmet started to fog up.
    Within one minute he had caught the group and I thought he was about to expire.
    I tried to recall my first-aid… “is it five compressions per breath… or four?”
    He looked in pain.

    “C’mon Big Fella”, I yelled through my helmet.

    His work rate increased.
    He was lovin’ the love.
    I decided not to overtake the group (not hard to do considering I was the only one with a motor) and to coach my boy to the next set of lights.
    Such fun.
    Lance and I sat at the back of the pack, I offered more encouragement and his rapidly fatiguing pistons continued to pump.

    About two km’s (just over a mile) into the journey he turns and yells to me “how fast am I going?”
    How funny is that?
    I laughed my guts out.
    Again.
    Only an Aussie bloke who’s near death would still care about… ‘how fast he’s riding’.
    If he was a she… not a chance.

    I looked at my speedo.
    “About forty (25mph).”
    “I’m flying.”
    (more laughs)
    “Yes, you are..”

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    And with those words.. the big man started to ‘hit the wall’.
    His legs began to turn to rubber, his pink cheeks started to turn a lovely shade of grey and the friendly dialogue came to a standstill.

    Lance began to drop off the back of the pack.

    “Champ… don’t let those pretty boys get away.”
    He mustered one final heroic burst, kind of like Sly in the first Rocky movie (the only good one) and momentarily caught the group again… he hung on for a bit and then surrendered to his screaming body.

    He was exhausted but triumphant.
    Strangely, I understood his triumph.
    To anyone else, me and my chubby athlete would have been a bizarre sight, but to us it was a significant moment.

    The ex-fat kid (me) was delighted to invest five minutes into the friendly chubby guy ‘training’ for his wedding day.

    We pulled up at the next set of lights and Lance was breathing like an eighty year-old smoker with emphysema.
    But he was happy.

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    “Thanks Man.”
    “You’re welcome… keep up the great work and have fun on the big day.”
    “I will…”

    We exchanged a few more pleasantries, the lights turned green, we gave the alpha-male nod and I left the exhausted, but happy, groom-to-be to finish his training session.

    I rode away with a big smile on my face.
    He was happy, I was happy… and the ‘real’ cyclists thought we needed help.

    As I continued my journey, I thought about what Lance had taught me:

    1) It’s really easy to connect with people when we want to – especially when we make it about them.
    2) Everyone responds to encouragement.
    3) Most people like some attention and care.
    4) It’s amazing what a little support (even from a stranger) can do to a person’s level of performance.
    5) When we slow down and notice what (and who) is around us, there are lessons to be learned.
    6) Helping a stranger can make me feel better than helping myself.

    Thanks Lance.
    Enjoy your wedding day and your life with Mrs Lance.

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    More by this author

    Craig Harper

    Leading presenter, writer and educator in the areas of high-performance, self-management, personal transformation and more

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    Last Updated on July 12, 2021

    100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

    100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier
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    Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

    By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

    Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

    83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

      84 write random letter

        85 use a rubberband

          86 dorm smell bad

            87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

              89 how to waterproof your shoes

                90 take a picture of the name card

                  91 iron inside out

                    92 old newspaper

                      93 tumble try shoes

                        keep a card like this

                          SONY DSC

                            94 soap bar

                              95 make a hole

                                96 drop the battery

                                  97 use a coozie

                                    98 when taking a picture

                                      use a clean dust pan

                                        try a pants hanger

                                          use your cellphone light

                                            use a spring from an old pen

                                              quick and easy iphone speaker

                                                user binder clips

                                                  wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                    put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                      clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                        use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                          doritos are great for kindling

                                                            use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                              use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                                freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                  use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                    almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                      sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                        unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                          cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                            remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                              turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                                for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                  how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                    tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                      place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                        ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                          use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                            take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                              how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                                put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                  How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                    user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                      good sandwich guide

                                                                                                        turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                          50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                            the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                              add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                                38

                                                                                                                  hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                    stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                      the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                        how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                          the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                            use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                              to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                                user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                  a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                    rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                      use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                        50

                                                                                                                                          51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                            52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                              rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                                kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                  use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                    58

                                                                                                                                                      59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                        60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                          hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                            Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                              hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                                use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                  if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                    keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                      If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                        drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                          use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                            use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                              do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                                when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                  dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                    put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                      75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                        use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                          pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                            78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                              79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                                80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                  81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                    82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                      99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                        100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                          88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                            There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                            30 Brilliant Camping Hacks I Wish I Knew Earlier

                                                                                                                                                                                                            20 Popular Life Hacks From the Internet Debunked (or Verified)

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