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Success recipes most people know, but too few follow

Success recipes most people know, but too few follow
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If you want to look back on a life that fills you with joy, conventional rules for success are not the place to start

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  1. Don’t chase money, power, or status.
    If they come to you, that’s fine. But most conventional ideas about success go wrong because they focus on outcomes instead of on the processes of living. Outcomes come around from time to time, but life itself—the process of living, acting, thinking, and being—happens all the time. No outcome is going to make a lousy, miserable process feel worthwhile.

    If you hate what you do, no amount of power or money will make up for that. If your life is constantly stressful, boring, unhappy, or frustrating, how can achieving some high status once in a while make up for all the miserable days and weeks you spent getting there? It’s tempting to feel that the end will more than make up for the means; that you’ll forget the misery in the blaze of achievement. And you will—for a few moments. Then you’ll be back on the treadmill, with only the distant hope of some fresh achievement or monetary gain to console you. That’s like being a laboratory rat conditioned to unnatural behavior by occasional pellets of food.

  2. Take whatever time you need to discover what matters to you most
    Success isn’t simply a matter of money, power, or prestige. You could gain all of those and still feel that you have fallen short of what you wanted; or you could gain none of them and be blissfully happy and fulfilled. What constitutes personal success is mostly in your mind. It has much less to do with finding the best career in other peoples’ eyes, creating a killer business, or holding down a fancy job with a big salary than with achieving what really matters to you. Many people find this out too late. They struggle for years to get where other people said they should go, only to find it does little or nothing for them. Sad;y, it’s often too late by then to do anything else.
  3. Don’t base your choices on others’ approval. We all want to please those we care about, so it’s natural to try to do what they approve. Natural, but rarely a good idea as the basis for life’s choices. I don’t say that you should deliberately ignore sound advice, or reject a career path simply because other people suggest it. But even the most loving parent or friend can’t always see what is going to make your heart sing. Listen to others. Value their input and their support. But go your own way. It’s better to be committed to doing what you truly love than accept something lesser for the sake of being approved by someone else.
  4. Stay authentic. That means always doing what truly matters to you and is part of who you are. The simplest definition of a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does another: like a person who says that he or she wants to work at something that benefits society, then forgets that at the first sight of a fistful of dollar bills. Somewhere inside of you is a part that recalls what truly matters and will never quite let you forget it. Over the years, that inner voice is only going to get louder.
  5. Go for meaning over money every time. It’s perfectly possible to do something meaningless to you and earn a great deal of cash while doing so. Some people do, especially in parts of the media world. It just requires a stronger stomach and more cynicism that most people possess, plus a huge tolerance for boredom.

    Is it worth it? If money is truly all that matters to you—and you can make lots of it quickly and get out—it might be. Few areas of work will allow you to do that, aside from criminal ones. Meaningless days corrode most peoples’ minds and destroy their happiness. Doing something that means a great deal to you almost always makes you feel energized and alive. It’s your choice.

  6. Be endlessly greedy—for learning. You can never learn too much or overfill your mind with new ideas. Nothing is more useful in life than a well-developed, well-stocked mind, especially one that has been broadened and enlarged in the process. It’s hard to name a single famously successful person who was narrow-minded, bigoted, or stupid. The list of notable successes who are recognized for the power of their minds is long. And you don’t have to have had an expensive education to be able to develop a great mind. There have been plenty of near geniuses whose education was almost entirely self-produced.
  7. Make a friend of failure. You are certain to fail sometimes, and the higher your aspirations, the more frequent and significant that failure will be. People who don’t strive for anything glorious rarely fail; they take no risks and never aim beyond what is easily attainable. But if you treat failure as an enemy, it’s going to lead only to discouragement and even the abandoning of your hopes and dreams. Failure can be a friend, pointing out what isn’t right yet and showing you the way to do better. The more proficient you become at accepting the lessons of failure, the quicker you will succeed.
  8. Make sure that every time you make a mistake, it’s a new one. Making the same mistake several times shows that you haven’t learned what it can teach you. Making new mistakes proves that you’re trying something different. The best definition of a loser is someone who makes the same mistakes over and over again, never managing to learn anything in the process. Such a person is doomed.
  9. Choose to spend your time with the right people. I don’t mean that in the sense of the rich and the powerful, the movers and shakers of society. Whether they’re powerful or not, the best people to spend time with are those from whom you can learn most: the ones whose own lives have brought them joy and endless fulfillment. That means people who do what they love and love what they do. People who have become experts in life, thinking people, people with wide-open minds and wide-open hearts.

    Seek them out wherever you can. Listen to them. Never mind if they are no longer living. Read their books and emulate their largeness of spirit. Learn from them all, but don’t simply copy what they did in this world. What they did was right for them, but may not be right for you. What you need to use as models are their ways of thinking and responding to the challenges of the world; the process of their lives, not what it happened to contain.

  10. Drop whatever is inconsistent with these principles. That means all activities that don’t move you forward towards what you value most; things that get in the way of learning; pursuits that waste time and dull your senses; and people who hold you back. You may sometimes have to be ruthless. Each of us has only one life. If you waste it, you don’t get another chance. Besides, if you have chosen your dreams and aspirations wisely, what you must leave behind by dropping what’s inconsistent with those dreams will not be worth worrying about anyway. Those who make bad choices find, too late, that they have abandoned things and people that meant more to them than whatever they gained in exchange. If that happens, you have truly reached one of life’s lowest points.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent posts there on similar topics include How to work less and accomplish more and What are you busy doing?. His latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization

    , is now available at all good bookstores.
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    Last Updated on October 30, 2018

    How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

    How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

    What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

    To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

    All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

    There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

    With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

    What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

    1.Think big.

      From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

      “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

      There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

      Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

      Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

      Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
      Instead be ambitious.

      2.Find what you love to do and do it.

        From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

        “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

        This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

        Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

        If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

        Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

        Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

        Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

        3. Learn how to balance life.

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          From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

          “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

          All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

          If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

          However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

          If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

          In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

          To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

          4. Do not be afraid of failure.

            From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

            “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

            There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

            Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

            His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

            He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

            Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

            Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

            5. Have an unwavering resolution to succeed.

              From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

              “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

              This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

              It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

              If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

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              Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

              6. Be a person of action.

                From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

                “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

                Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

                Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

                When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renissance era Italy, we think of Michaelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci.

                Or think about the present day:

                Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

                You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

                All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

                Applying this to you?

                Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

                7. Avoid conflicts.

                  From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                  The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                  The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                  People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                  This is key to good leadership.

                  It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                  But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                  What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                  As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

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                  8. Don’t be afraid of introducing new ideas.

                    From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                    “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                    It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                    Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                    If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                    9. Believe in your capacity to succeed.

                      From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                      “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                      Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                      It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                      Keep dreaming!

                      10. Always maintain a positive mental attitude.

                        From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                        “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                        Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                        Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                        If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                        However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                        11. Don’t let discouragement stop you from pressing on.

                          From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                          “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                          It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

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                          When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

                          Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                          If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                          Take a look at these 5 Ways to Stop Self Doubt in its Tracks.

                          12. Be willing to work hard.

                            From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                            “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                            You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                            Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                            True success comes from work.

                            You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                            Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                            13. Be brave enough to follow your intuition.

                              From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                              “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                              In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                              If you strongly believe and desire something, the chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                              It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                              Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                              Final thoughts

                              What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                              Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this:

                              How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                              More Recommended Lifehack Experts in Success

                              • Mandie Holgate — Successful life coach in the UK, helping businesses and individuals achieve greatness
                              • David Carpenter — Lifelong entrepreneur and business owner helping others to realize the American Dream of business ownership
                              • Ray Zinn — An inventor, entrepreneur, bestselling author and the longest serving CEO in Silicon Valley

                              Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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