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Stop Forcing the Momentum and What Off-Days Have to Do with It?

Stop Forcing the Momentum and What Off-Days Have to Do with It?

Your current pace isn’t showing any signs of slowing; it seems you’re always busy and constantly on the go. You’re working as fast as you can, but there’s no time left for you, for reflection and renewal. There’s got to be a better way to live and work.

You desperately want to find time for you, and for improving your work, your skills, for observation, for growth, but there’s now white space left on your calendar. It doesn’t take long, before you start to feel tired and inefficient because of your current situation. Yet, you don’t want to stop – in order not to break the momentum.

But is this “forced” momentum really worth it and is it actually doing you more harm than good?

The illusion of productivity

Many people consider productivity to be working as much as possible, but that isn’t the case.

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Part of the definition of productivity is also slowing down and taking a breather. However, if you are skipping the breaks then this nasty habit is going to get to you at some point: You’ll be exhausted and stress yourself out for nothing.

Another part of slowing and taking a break is for reflecting on your work processes: What have you achieved? What methods worked and which could be improved on further?

The fact is that you need to do this kind of analysis on a frequent basis. Otherwise, you can keep working and working, until you realize that you have wasted your time doing too much unnecessary work. Moreover, that this could’ve been prevented by stopping for a moment and looking around.

Forcing yourself to keep up the momentum

So what is the real reason why you keep working like this, even though you know you should stop at times?

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First, the fear keeps your wheels rolling. It’s not letting you stop, because if you do you’ll fall behind on everything – or at least that’s what fear thinks. You’re also afraid that your momentum will stop, but you should be asking where is my momentum taking me.

Second, your attitude also matters. In your words, “the more I do, the better I am as a person” may work on some level, but for how long?

If your daily life is just hard work without any reprieve, do you think that you can keep this indefinitely? Or do you think that what you are doing now is just a short-term strategy? If it’s the latter, how can you work better to reduce the stress and improve your effectiveness?

The STOP sign

So, how do you improve your situation?

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Allow yourself to stop!

Yes, allow yourself to take a break on a frequent basis for renewal, analysis, education, and planning.

This is actually a major shift in your mindset and it plays a big role in what happens next. The shift is also helping you to change your negative attitude towards taking time off. If you’d normally label yourself as a procrastinator or a lazy person if you take time off, giving yourself permission to do so can help you to quiet those negative thoughts.

It’s the same thing as if you’d be trying to lose weight: If you allow yourself to eat something unhealthy every now and then, instead of beating yourself up about it, you might actually reach your goal even faster.

From forced to relaxed momentum – how to

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1. Allow yourself to stop. This is the most crucial mindset shift you can make: allow yourself to stop at times.

2. Understand the benefits. For instance, you’d have more time to plan, analyze the past, and even prevent future mistakes from happening. The off days are also great for “sharpening the saw” – educating yourself. No matter how good you are now in what you do, you can always do better and improve. Finally, slowing down is a great way to take your mind off work for a while. This way you can have more energy for your future projects and tasks you have coming up.

3. Find the perfect time for the day off. Decide to have at least one day off dedicated on a weekly basis for analysis, planning, education, and renewal. In my case, this day is on Sunday. When I reach my off day, I know that I have also reached the end of the workweek and that I can slow down a bit. This off day gives me a needed break between the current and the coming workweek.

You can work only so much. At some point, you have to find time for planning, analyzing, and renewal. In addition, although you might find it difficult in the beginning, you’ll find it comes easier. You’ll begin to see the big picture and have more motivation to tackle your work with enthusiasm and energy. It gives you a more relaxed type of momentum.

Over to you: Do you take time off on a frequent basis?

Featured photo credit: Businessman sitting on a chair via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on August 13, 2018

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.

They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.

Don Juan

    1. Cardio for Stamina

    If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.

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    Triathlon symbol
      • Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
      • Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
      • Swimming – 30 minutes a day
      • Cycling – 30 minutes a day

      The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.

      These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.

      2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core

      The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:

      Barbell squats
        • Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits

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        Zercher squat
          • Zercher squatsthis type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.

          Glute bridge
            • Glute bridgethis exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.

            Hyperextensions
              • Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.

              Ab wheel rollout
                • Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.

                Cross body crunch
                  • Cross body crunchthis exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.

                  Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.

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                  3. Upper-Body Strength Training

                  Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:

                  Plank exercise
                    • Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.

                    Close grip pushups
                      • Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.

                      Chin ups
                        • Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.

                        These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.

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                        4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises

                        You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.

                        5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips

                        Lion stretching

                          If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:

                          Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.

                          With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.

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