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Stop Being Offended Today: 3 Cures for Everything That Irritates You

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Stop Being Offended Today: 3 Cures for Everything That Irritates You


    There is an epidemic spreading across the world. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re all carriers of the disease. It’s called Offend-initis, a skin condition whereby the thickness of our skin melts away to the point where everything offends us. Symptoms may include: hurt feelings, indignation, irritability, disappointment, grumpiness and an all-around allergic reaction to anyone who says or does something we don’t like.

    Fortunately, there is a cure.

    But, before the healing begins, we need to start by acknowledging that there’s a problem in the first place. For many of us, we don’t even know we’re walking around with this virus, but it’s there alright, destroying all the peace of mind cells we have in our body. Being offended doesn’t just hurt our feelings, it compromises our whole “happiness immune system.”

    So, go ahead, you can say it. It’s only three words: I get offended.

    And don’t worry. You’re not alone. We all do.

    In fact, there’s almost nothing we don’t get offended by. We get offended by a roll of the eye or a shake of the head, as easily as we get offended when we’re ignored, picked on, talked about, not talked about, overworked, unappreciated, or taken for granted.

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    And, that’s not counting all those times in a day when we get offended by life disappointing us. You know what I’m talking about…those times when someone cuts us off on the road, jumps in front of us at the market, doesn’t say thank you when we think they should. We get offended by parents who can’t control their kids in restaurants, friends who don’t invite us to parties, neighbors who refuse to pick up after their dog’s mess.

    Take your pick. There’s something for everybody.

    Now, you might say being offended is nothing more than a collection of pet peeves—all those little annoyances that get under our skin.  And it’s true.  Of course, seeing as how the skin is the largest organ in the body, that’s a lot of room for these “pet peeves” to get into our system and thrive. We need to be careful of infection.

    It’s time to let the healing begin.

    Here is a simple prescription on how to stop being offended — three small pills to help clear up the irritation of life.

    Pill #1: Don’t Be Offended By Anything You Can’t Change

    This isn’t a pill as much as it’s an awareness we need to swallow. Let’s face facts. We’re not helping the world one bit by being offended. And, yet, we often mistake our indignation for action, thinking that our being offended makes us more empathetic and caring, as if being upset by people who text while driving makes us pillars of the community.

    In other words, we try to justify being offended.

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    I know I get offended at texting drivers—the indignation of someone putting my kids at risk. And while it’s true that it’s dangerous, lets be real about this whole “justifying” business: my stink eye across the freeway isn’t going to save hundreds of lives, anymore than being offended at the guy who lets his dog poop all over someone else’s lawn will do anything to beautify my own.

    Being offended without taking action does nothing to make the world a better place. It only raises our blood pressure and makes us agitated.

    If we’re really offended by something, we should do something about it. Talk to the person who offended you, deal with the issue, elicit change. And if I really wanted to do something about drivers who text, I should march to City Hall, call my congressman, blog about it, talk to my own kids, rally the troops. Take real action.

    But, I don’t, so I stew in my indignation…and stewing does nothing but reduce the quality of my life. But, I can change that. We all can.

    We can choose, from this moment forward, to not allow ourselves to expend one ounce of energy on what we can’t change. Rather, let’s change the things we can—starting with our own peace of mind.

    Pill #2:  Stop Looking For Things To Be Offended By

    If it’s been said once, it’s been said a thousand times: we find what we look for. And when it comes to being offended, nothing could be more true.

    Some days it seems like we’re on the lookout for things to be offended by. We’re waiting for it. It almost becomes a habit and, like any habit, the more we keep at it, the more it becomes an everyday part of our lives.

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    Fortunately, habits can be broken. If we choose, we can change our perspective. And this isn’t just looking at the world as if the glass is half-full, it’s making a conscious decision to look at our entire life differently.

    Instead of always being the victim and looking for what someone is “doing to us,” we can start looking for all the things someone is “doing for us.”

    We could thank the neighbor’s dog for fertilizing our lawn, or the slow driver ahead of us for making us stop rushing. We could thank the texting driver for making us put our cell phones down, or the negativity dwellers for making us appreciate our positive attitudes, or the guy who’s always giving us grief for making us treat others nicer.

    In fact, we could thank all those individuals who offend us for making us stronger, happier and more content. Do this and the things that once irritated us, will now become our teachers, guiding us toward inner peace. Again, it’s all a matter of perspective, or as Wayne Dyer says,

    “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.”

    Pill #3:  Give Others The Space To Be Themselves

    I know this is a big pill to swallow, but the reality is simple: most people aren’t out to get us. They’re not doing things to make us miserable and ruin our day. They’re doing it because they’re living their own life experiences. Yes, that sometimes means they’re inconsiderate, annoying, unconscious, and not living up to our high expectations.

    But, guess what, we’re not always living up to other people’s expectations. I’ve certainly offended my share of people. I’ve rolled my eyes, said things I wish I hadn’t, been inconsiderate, unconscious and annoying. And while I’m not proud of it, I do know that I’m a better person today than I was yesterday, in the same way that the person who offended you today may be a better person tomorrow.

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    The fact is, we all need space to be ourselves—to have good days and bad days, and to not always be at our best. We need the space to change, grow, and evolve, and to do it on our own time.

    And the more we adopt this “big picture” attitude, the less demanding we will be of those around us, reducing the likelihood that we will be offended in the first place.

    And here’s the bonus: the more space we give for others to be themselves, the more space they’re likely to make for us. I know it’s a tough goal to stretch for, but it’s also one that could change the world. It’s called freedom and it’s a peaceful, energizing, and beautiful thing.

    That’s it…three small pills to cure what irritates you.

    Of course, it’s not that simple. If you really want to be cured from what offends you, you’ll need to stay on this prescription for the rest of your life.

    But, that’s a small price to pay for the freedom to live every moment with the knowledge that your days of being chronically offended are once and forever over.

    (Photo credit: Teenager Being Offended via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on January 13, 2022

    10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

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    10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

    A honeymoon is important.  The wedding is over.  The months, or even years, of stress and planning are finally over.  It’s time for the two of you to relax, settle in, and start enjoying your time together as you embark on your first journey as a family.

    To make the most of this time for the least amount of money, it’s important to focus on what you want out of a honeymoon.  This isn’t your typical list of touristy honeymoon locations everyone goes to.  Rather, it’s a list of cheap honeymoon experiences a couple can enjoy together, regardless of where it’s at.

    1. Camping

    A week long camping trip is a fantastic way to see how you mesh together as a couple.  You’re put in a low impact “survival” situation where it’s just the 2 of you and nature.  You have a chance to see how your new spouse handles themselves when left with the basics of life.  There are amazing national parks all over the United States where you can camp for a week for $20-30, disconnect from technology, and enjoy some of the natural wonders our nation has to offer.

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    2. Staycation

    You don’t have to go anywhere for a honeymoon.  In fact, the tradition of taking a honeymoon vacation is a relatively new one.  Prior to the 19th century, a honeymoon involved staying home together for a month to get to know each other physically.  Think of how blissful it could be to take a full month off work, disconnect from the outside world, and focus entirely on projects together.  You may not be wowing your friends and family with pictures of some exotic location, but they’ll be envious of your escape from the rat race nonetheless.

    3. Island Getaway

    People tend to overspend on their honeymoon vacations to Hawaii, Tahiti, etc.  Going to these places doesn’t have to be expensive.  You don’t need to stay in a 5 star resort when you’re on a Best Western budget.  You’re there to be in the atmosphere of the island, not a hotel room. Book a cheap flight and sleep in a hotel alternative, on the beach or in your car.  It’s the view in paradise that really matters.

    4. Fancy Resort

    Book an expensive resort, spa, or retreat in the city you live in.  While this may seem counterintuitive as a cheap destination, when you consider your savings on airfare and other travel costs, you can afford to be treated like royalty within your own city limits.  If you book a honeymoon package, you’ll end up with a lot of free amenities and extra attention.  There’s no need to fly halfway across the world to live the good life.

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    5. Road Trip

    The journey is often more fulfilling than the actual destination.  If you fly out to some exotic locale, you’ll be stuck on a plane for 8-30 hours.  Rent a luxury car, pick a handful of places you each have always wanted to visit, and go on an adventure.  You can keep food costs down by packing your own snacks, but it’s always a good idea to sample the local delicacies wherever you go, even if it’s only a few states over.

    6. Charter a Boat

    If the ocean is your thing, a week-long cruise can cost you $1500-$3000 per person, depending on the destination.  You also have to factor in travel costs to and from the cruise, alcohol, souvenirs, and on-shore excursions.  You’ll also be surrounded by people.  For the same price (and often much cheaper), you can charter your own boat and enjoy the experience in private.

    7. Las Vegas/Atlantic City

    If gambling is your thing, these are the places to do it.  Which one you choose depends on your preference, budget, and proximity.  The way to make this vacation cheaper is to gamble smart.  Stay away from low odd tables (i.e craps, roulette) and read up on the MIT blackjack strategies to beat the house.  If you do it right, you can win enough for a free trip (and gain a valuable team skill in the process).

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    8. Themed Retreats

    There are weeklong retreats all over the world where you can fully immerse yourselves as a couple into a hobby you’re both passionate about.  Go on a yoga/meditation retreat, a ranch, a vineyard/farm, a backpacking adventure, treasure hunt, or whatever you’re into.

    9. Working Honeymoon

    Your honeymoon doesn’t have to be a vacation.  For a truly memorable experience, dedicate a week to a charity or volunteer organization.  You can drive out to a campground to help restore it in the offseason.  Maybe you’ve always wanted to volunteer to help out your local animal shelter, plant trees, help the homeless, etc.  Use the time to do something together as a couple that will fulfill you spiritually while contributing to the community.  Just because you’re on a honeymoon doesn’t mean you can’t be productive.

    10. Festivals, Fairs & Special Events

    Every city, state, and country has festivals, fairs, and special events.  Find one you’re interested in.  If you time your wedding right, your honeymoon can be a trip to one of these festivals.  Burning Man, SXSW, Bonnaroo, the Renaissance Fair, regional harvest festivals, Mardi Gras, New Years Eve in Times Square, a movie premiere, or whatever you’re into.  If you plan your honeymoon at the right time in the right place, the possibilities are endless.

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    Featured photo credit: Josue Michel via unsplash.com

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