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Step Out Of The Comfort Zone

Step Out Of The Comfort Zone


    Enrich your life when you step out of the comfort zone. Tackling a new skill or taking an adventure that scares you a little helps you grow and makes you happier.

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    Most of us have a desire to be comfortable and play it safe. Trying something new can seem scary and not worth the effort. However, full enjoyment and fulfillment comes in those moments we step out of the comfort zone.

    Think back to the most meaningful, amazing moments of your life. When you examine them you will find that they had you stepping out of your comfort zone. Trying something new and unfamiliar brings extra excitement and emotion to the event. These highs leave us with a greater sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that simply doing the same thing every day.

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    Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to be a death-defying adventure. It could be something as simple as traveling to a new place. One example is taking a photography challenge where you have to photograph 100 strangers, getting their name and a little bit about each one of them. For those of us who are not gregarious extroverts this is a huge step out of the comfort zone.

    Often, the things that are scariest bring the greatest rewards.  That being said, it may be easier to start with things that are closer to your comfort zone. As you gain a bit more confidence in yourself branch out into greater leaps.

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    Some ideas for getting out of your comfort zone are listed below. The size of the steps may be the same or different for you. These are just to give you an idea of in how to stretch yourself.

    Small steps out of the comfort zone:

    • Call a friend or relative you’ve lost contact with.Sign up for a blog challenge that stretches you.
    • Speak in front of a group about a subject you are passionate about.
    • Learn a new skill.
    • Get up in the middle of the night to see a meteor show or hike to an amazing spot.
    • Volunteer. If you’ve never worked with your hands volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and start to learn about building while helping others.

    Medium sized steps out of the comfort zone:

    • Travel on your own for vacation.
    • Take a class in something you don’t think you have any talent for.
    • Take a whitewater rafting trip.
    • Write a book.
    • Learn how to swim, if this is a skill you don’t have it can seem very daunting.
    • Attend an event where you don’t know anyone. Don’t just be a wallflower either, talk to at least 5 people.
    • Be the first to say, I love you.
    • Quit your full-time, safe, job to start your dream job.

    Huge steps out of the comfort zone:

    • Fly in a very small plane piloted by a crazy friend.
    • Hike the grand canyon.
    • Visit a country where few of the residents speak english.
    • Backcountry camping in Yellowstone, with the bears.
    • Call up experts in your industry and ask for an interview or endorsement.

    When you try new things and stretch your limits you will find they aren’t where you thought they were. You are capable of so much more than you ever believed.

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    What is the next step out of the comfort zone you will take? Share your plans with us in the comments below.

    (Photo credit: Beyond Normal via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on July 10, 2020

    How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

    How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

    We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

    We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

    So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

    Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

    What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

    Boundaries are limits

    —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

    Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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    Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

    Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

    Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

    How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

    Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

    1. Self-Awareness Comes First

    Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

    You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

    To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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    You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

    • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
    • When do you feel disrespected?
    • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
    • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
    • When do you want to be alone?
    • How much space do you need?

    You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

    2. Clear Communication Is Essential

    Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

    Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

    3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

    Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

    That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

    Sample language:

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    • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
    • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
    • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
    • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
    • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
    • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
    • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

    Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

    4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

    Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

    Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

    Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

    We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

    It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

    It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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    Final Thoughts

    Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

    Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

    Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

    The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

    Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

    Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

    They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

    Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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