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Slow Down, Don’t Lead So Fast

Slow Down, Don’t Lead So Fast

Speed is everywhere. Fast cars, high-speed Internet connections, fast food, quickie divorces, “The One-Minute Manager.” We’re constantly told that faster is better. “Instant” is added to product names as often as “New” and “Improved.”

Is faster always better? I doubt it, especially when you’re dealing with people. We may want to get our burger quickly, but who wants only a few moments of someone’s attention? Doctors, for example, are so rushed and overworked some now employ nurses to handle the time needed to get a patient history and discuss symptoms. Since people crave time and attention, alternative practitioners are increasing their impact, often simply because they can offer patients enough time to accompany their treatments. Some of the boom in life coaching is because of people’s need to experience encouraging attention. They’re paying for the coach’s time as much as their expertise.

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Leadership is obviously a people business. Yet today’s leaders are so burdened with other demands many of them find it impossible to give their staff what they want most: informal training, personal attention, time with the boss and careful thought about their needs. Good decisions also demand time for proper reflection and judgment. If there’s an instant answer available, that’s not a decision anyone in a leadership position should need to get involved with.

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That’s why I’ve decided to launch a new website devoted to helping leaders find ways to slow down and create the space they need to do their job properly. Like the movement for Slow Food that’s spread across the world, Slow Leadership is all about regaining the genuine flavor and enjoyment of being a leader. After all, if you’re going to savor your leadership role, you’ll need to feel you’re doing it well. Like instant mashed potato, instant leadership is an artificial creation with neither the taste, the texture nor the benefits of the real thing.

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What do you want from your leaders? The time and reflection needed to make sound decisions — or instant judgments using cookie-cutter thinking? Full attention, helping you develop your potential — or a quick appraisal interview once a year?

It’s time to fight back. Unless people stand up for what they need, the urge to cut costs by limiting time for “non-essential” activities like thinking, developing new ideas and building relationships might be come irreversible.

Adrian Savage is an Englishman and a retired business executive who lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his thoughts most days at The Coyote Within.

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

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