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Relocating With Grace: How to Move Without (Totally) Losing Your Mind

Relocating With Grace: How to Move Without (Totally) Losing Your Mind


    Moving is pretty awful.

    It’s one of those things where you quickly forget how awful it is…until you do it again. Kind of like childbirth (so I hear).

    You get settled into your cozy new place, and with a clear floor and hazy mind, you think, “That wasn’t so bad!”

    Yes it was. And you realize it as soon as you have to move again and the packing commences.

    That’s what I’ve been doing for the last few weeks – moving. I thought it wouldn’t be terrible…until I started packing up my closet. You know those Russian nesting dolls? It was like that. More stuff than I ever knew I had.

    Have you been here? Or are you one of those lucky folks that adores packing and unpacking? (I still have some boxes to go – drop me a line if this is you!)

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    Clearly, I do not like moving. Most people don’t. But, like many of life’s transitions, you don’t have to like something to get through it gracefully.

    In this busy process of moving, I’ve discovered a few keys to keeping most of your sanity:

    1. Drop the “shoulds”

    You know them – “I should be working out every day.” “I should get the entire kitchen packed today.” “I shouldn’t be eating out so much.”

    Maybe those things are true – but drop the should. Yes, it would be healthier for you to eat fresh food at home, but right now isn’t the time to guilt yourself with the “shoulds.”

    That’s what this is really about – stop guilting yourself. Cut yourself a little slack. Relax. Yes, my body is screaming for an apple and some crunches, but I’m not guilting myself about it. That only adds to the stress. Don’t make yourself feel bad.

    I’m not suggesting you make excuses, or go on a binge-fest free-for-all…but stop guilting yourself. Those things you “should” do will be do-able when your life isn’t flipped upside-down.

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    2. Don’t be afraid to stray from the routine

    You’d think routine would help when everything else changes, but I’ve found it to be more of a hindrance.

    For example, my routine is to work out every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. During the move, I don’t need to do that – walking up and down stairs 20 times per day and carrying 30lb boxes is exercise enough! Had I insisted on sticking with that, I would’ve been twice as sore and twice as miserable.

    So be gentle with yourself – loosen your grip on that routine, if only for a week or two. You can pick it right back up where you left off.

    3. Don’t expect it to be stress-free

    Moving is stressful. It just is. No matter how gracefully you get through it, there will still be some stress. Accept this.

    You don’t have to like it, but accept it, and deal with the stress as best you can.

    Take a hot bath, vent to your cat and take as many naps as you want (good luck – I didn’t get a single nap during this move!)

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    4. Accept the uncertainty

    Maybe you don’t know where the nearest coffee shop is, or how the garbage stickers work – that’s okay.

    Maybe you’re packing those random kitchen gadgets and wondering where the hell you’ll put them – that’s okay.

    Moving brings with it a lot of uncertainty – again, you don’t have to like it, but accept it. Don’t stress yourself out over things you don’t know yet. It won’t help you know them any faster.

    5. Ask for help

    Don’t do it all yourself. Call friends, family, and ideally, movers. If you can get someone else to move the big stuff, your back will thank you.

    6. De-junk as you go (and when you think you’re done, de-junk some more)

    That shirt you haven’t worn in 2 years? The nail polish that’s kind of goopy but maybe still usable? Throw. Them. Away.

    The less you have to bring with, the less you have to unpack. You’ll thank yourself when you’re trying to organize the new place.

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    And now, you get to learn from my mistakes. Some things I wish I’d done:

    7. Keep healthy snacks around

    Too much crap food left me feeling less than my best. Instead of draining my body of nutrients, I wish I’d kept some healthy snacks around. Easy stuff: fruit, nuts, etc.

    8. De-Junk more

    I’m not kidding about this one. As we’re getting down to the last boxes, it’s clear to me that we didn’t throw enough away. I especially wish I’d gone through my clothes – again, less to organize.

    Moving is never a fun process…but with these tips, you can get through it with most of your sanity. Good luck!

    Photo: Couple on Unmade Sofa Bed courtesy of Shutterstock.

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    Last Updated on June 13, 2019

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

    You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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    1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

    It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

    Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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    2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

    If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

    3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

    If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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    4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

    A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

    5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

    If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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    Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

    Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

    Reference

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