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A New Way to Create a Bucket List

A New Way to Create a Bucket List

You’d think with over 7 billion people in the world, we’d have quite a few examples of how to live a life without regret. Yet for some reason or another we’re still making decisions that lead to the same regrets time after time. Author Bronnie Ware outlines the top 5 regrets of the dying in her book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing after years of work in palliative care.

Most of us have a bucket list. You know, that list of accomplishments we want to achieve before we die. It might include:

  • Learn another language
  • Earn a million dollars
  • Travel the world
  • Go skydiving
  • Get a Ph.D.
  • Buy a specific type of car

There is nothing inherently wrong with putting any of these items on a bucket list. After all it’s your list and the things you want to achieve have relevance and importance to you in their own unique way. However, after reading the book and going over the top five regrets of the dying I couldn’t help but think I have been going about my goals and ambitions completely wrong. Most of the things I’d like to accomplish are exciting, challenging, and rewarding but I had to step back for a minute and ask myself when it’s all said and done will any of those accomplishments.

A new way to create your bucket list

When Ware discussed with some of her patients over the years what they regretted most in their lives the top common responses are as follows.

I wish I had the courage to live life true to myself. The fastest way to stress, anxiety, and unhappiness is by comparing yourself to others or trying to keep up with the Joneses. Making decisions and living your life based on the opinions of what others consider to be good and bad. There is nothing wrong with wanting to please people. It’s just important to make sure that it is aligned with what is most important to you.

This can lead to some problems. The people you care about most and whose opinions you respect might be making it difficult for you to pursue that which is most important to you.

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It’s important to remember that to be safe and secure is ingrained in us. It goes back to our days as cavemen and women. The first priority was to stay alive. Avoid predators, find food and shelter, and find a decent looking mate so that we could keep the blood lines going.

If you are looking to live a life more authentic to yourself but are battling the naysayers there are three things you can do:

1. Spin it and just say thanks. When someone close to me voices their opinion or concern for decisions I may be making, I just say thank you. I thank them for loving me so much to concern themselves with my safety and well-being. I then explain that these decisions are being made because I want to create the happiest and most enjoyable life for myself.

2. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t just pitch your dreams to someone, live them. Prove that it is possible to do things a little differently than most and still be safe and secure in the long run even if that means sacrificing some of that right now.

3 Contribute. Think of yourself as a quiet leader. While this post is about making decisions that are most important to you it is still important to keep others in mind.

And always remember that those that care the most about you are often more concerned about your safety than they are with your happiness.

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I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Most of those that mentioned this as a regret based it on their desire to have spent more time with their kids, significant others, and friends. However, this is just a matter of priorities as we all have the same 24 hours to use in a day.

Time influences so many of the most important decisions you will ever make in your entire life. Just think of how often you’ve heard:

  • I just don’t have enough time.
  • It’s about time you started settling down.
  • Isn’t it about time you got serious?
  • By the time I’m _____ years old, I want to be ______.

The most successful people in the world today treat their time like currency, it is their most valuable resource, prioritized over money, sex, and all things under the sun. Here are three ways you can start spending your time more wisely.

1. Creating specific routines that you can perform day in and day it is a great way to create positive energy management. These can be as simple as getting up at the same to time every day, starting your day with a certain breakfast or exercise routine, or taking a 50/10 break where you take 10 minutes to reset for every 50 minutes of work.

2. Take time to plan your week, I like Sundays to set up what it is I plan to accomplish. I typically dedicate days for certain tasks like exercise, cooking, research, writing, laundry, fun, or whatever else I have going on. I also schedule daily activities like email, phone, meetings, etc. for specific times each day. For example, I try to not check email until 7PM everyday.

3. Watch out for bad mojo.  Some people you spend time with can be energy zappers. You know, those Negative Nancys who are always shooting down ideas, in a bad mood, or create a toxic environment. Run a quick evaluation of friends and family, which ones contribute to more energy, success, and happiness for you and which ones don’t?

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I wish I would have expressed my true feelings. The most common reason for not fully expressing their emotions was in order to keep the peace or to avoid bitterness and resentment within personal relationships. I agree with this to a certain extent but when I think about my own personal experiences the fear of expressing my true feelings usually comes down to attempts to avoid vulnerability.

Let’s face it, being vulnerable is scary. You’re putting yourself out there on the line to be judged, hurt, and rejected. However, this is a common mistake most of us make, we spend to much time concentrating on the negative outcomes that we forget about the more likely and positive outcomes that could take place.

Just ask yourself this question; What’s worse: getting hurt because I was being true to myself and expressing who I am or keeping my authenticity buried inside and never truly experiencing deep and meaningful relationships and emotions?

I wish I stayed in touch with friends. Most of those who referred to this said they believed they were too wrapped up in their own lives and took for granted the importance of maintaining personal relationships. It’s easy to simply expect significant others, friends, and other loved ones to be there for us when we need them. Sometimes you might forget that they have their own lives, priorities, and experiences to have.

One way to maintain your friendships and other relationships with those closet to you is to expect nothing in return. Be there for them when they need you, call for no reason at all, write letters, hug them when you see them, and be the one that actively seeks to improve the relationship. Don’t simply expect them to.

I wish I let myself be happier. This one sort of baffled me a bit. Nobody in their right mind would not actually not let themselves be happier. So what in the heck is it that leads to feelings of not maximizing your happiness? I’ve personally researched the concept of happiness to death. There are so many wonderful books out there that detail findings on how you can become much happier not only immediately but over the course of a lifetime.

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So what exactly makes us happy? You tell me, take a second to ask yourself that very question, I bet many of you never have. What makes you happiest. Are there certain people in your life you would regret not spending more time with? Is there an active you just have to do that would immediately results in more happiness? A book you have to read? Some feelings you need to express? Or a few fears you need to face?

The science tells us that there are some common themes that determine your levels of happiness.

  • Practicing gratitude
  • Staying optimistic
  • Learning to forgive
  • Practicing acts of kindness
  • Committing to your goals

To just name a few. However what if gratitude isn’t what brings you happiness, and instead a girl named Molly is? What if being optimistic just doesn’t do it for you but a night stroll in the sand next to the beach does it? Maybe you’re not the type that sets and commits to goals but a glass of wine on a Thursday night with your best friend sure puts a smile on your face.

Maybe it’s time to update that bucket list.

More by this author

Justin Miller

Healthy Lifestyle Architect

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How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

Keeping yourself awake at work can be a real challenge when you’re bored, exhausted or sleep-deprived.

But before you reach for that can of Red Bull, bottle of Mountain Dew, or pot of coffee, try these healthy remedies to stimulate your 5 different senses and help you stay awake at work:

Sight – Visual Stimulation

The first thing you do when you wake up is opening your eyes, so your visual stimulation is very important to keeping your energy level high.

1. Maximize your exposure to light.

Your body’s internal rhythm is regulated by the amount of light you receive. The greater your exposure, the more alert you will feel.

Open the shades and let in the sunlight. Step outside or look out the window. Turn on all the artificial lights in your office or around your work space.

2. Exercise your eyes (or give them a break).

Roll your eyes up and down, side to side and diagonally. Rotate them clockwise and then counterclockwise. Squeeze them shut and then open them wide. Do this several times.

Reading and sitting in front of a computer screen for long periods can lead to eye fatigue.

Take regular breaks with deliberate blinking and looking out into the distance.

3. Take note of your environment.

Learn to enjoy people-watching. Observe their activities, speech, body language and interactions with others. Notice the details of building, trees and other objects around you, including their color, shape and size.

By doing this, you’re not only relaxing your eye muscles but also calming your mind.

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Hearing – Auditory Stimulation

What you hear or listen to have direct effect on your brain. This is why we feel so annoyed and sometimes angry when we hear construction noise when we’re working.

4. Engage in conversation.

Talk to a friend or colleague. Trade funny stories. Discuss your business venture, a creative idea, the latest political scandal, or any other topic that interests you.

Practice mindful listening to what you and the other person are saying. Tune into the tone, volume and content of the conversation.

Learn how to practice better listening from this guide:

Why Listen to Reply Instead of Understand Is the Key to Failure

5. Listen to upbeat music.

Try hip hop, rock or jazz to keep you alert. Instrumental, non-distracting music works best.

Sing, whistle, and hum along if you can. Plug in the earphones if you must.

Smell – Olfactory Stimulation

If you’re feeling sleepy and suddenly smell the coffee, you’ll probably feel more energetic. This is why smell is an influential stimulation.

6. Work your nose.

Aroma therapists recommend essential oils of peppermint (to boost energy), rosemary (to build awareness), eucalyptus (to increase oxygen), cedarwood  (to activate your mind), and cinnamon (to improve your reaction time).

If you don’t have essential oils on hand, you can use lotions or burning candles that provide the same scents.

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Citrus like lemons, limes, grapefruits and oranges are also natural olfactory stimulants. Get a whiff of these citrus scents to stay awake.

Taste – Gustatory Stimulation

If you want an energetic day at work, you can’t let your tongue feeling plain and flavorless.

7. Have a good breakfast.

Start off with the most important meal of the day.

Think fresh, light and healthy: bran cereals, wholegrain breads, fruits, and yogurt.

Nix the heavy stuff like sausages, greasy eggs or pancakes.

Need some breakfasts inspirations? Check out these ideas:

20 Healthy Breakfast Choices That Will Save You Time

8. Drink lots of water.

Keep a glass or bottle of H2O near you and sip from it throughout the day. Dehydration can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and sleepy.

So make sure you drink enough water throughout the day. Not sure how much to drink? This can help you:

How Much Water Should You Drink Each Day (and How Much Is Too Much for You)

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Think that you’ve been drinking too little water? Try these friendly reminders:

3 Best Apps To Help You Drink Much More Water

9. Eat energy-boosting snacks.

Nuts and fruits (like bananas, apples and strawberries) are sure bets. Pairings with staying power include baby carrots with a low-fat cream cheese dip; celery sticks with peanut butter; red peppers with hummus; and plain yogurt with granola.

Avoid carb-filled, sugary snacks that make you crash and leave you feeling tired.

Here you can find some healthy snack ideas:

25 Healthy Snack Recipes To Make Your Workday More Productive

Touch – Tactile Stimulation

Last but not least, your sense of touch will make you physically feel more energetic and less stressful.

10. Splash cold water on your face.

Do this in the morning, during bathroom breaks and in the afternoon. Being exposed to cold water pushes your body to adjust and regulate its internal temperature, which in turn keeps you alert.

This works the same as you take a cold shower to increase mood and alertness. Take a look at this article to learn more about it:

5 Surprising Benefits of Cold Showers

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11. Use acupressure.

Apply pressure to, massage, or tap on the stimulation points of your body. These include the top of your head, the back of your neck, the back of your hand (between the thumb and index finger), just below the knee and your earlobes.

Watch this video to learn about the acupressure points you can try:

12. Get moving.

Move away from your chair and stand, walk, run or climb the stairs. Feel the earth under your feet. Stretch and twist. Do jumping jacks, lunges, push-ups and back bends.

And if you need to move more discreetly, wiggle your feet, bounce your knee up and down, scrunch your toes, or cross your legs.

You can also try some simple stretches and exercises at your desk:

Unlike addictive caffeine fixes, these remedies activate your senses, engage your attention, amp up your energy and prevent morning grogginess and afternoon slumps without the side effects or health risks.

Pick a few ways from this list of suggestions and practice them consistently. And when you do this consistently, you’ll soon see the positive results — a more energetic and productive you at work.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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