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Nature’s Way—The Perfect Reset Button

Nature’s Way—The Perfect Reset Button

The first five minutes were always the worst: mentally exhausted, my body just wanted to crash down into the sofa, and my hand to reach out for the TV-controls and a cold beer to start the lovely process of switching off.

A typical work day for me repeatedly consisted of a 2-hour-plus commute, and site meetings with poor coffee followed by hours of drawing production in front of a computer screen. Certainly taxing in what it demanded of me, but nothing extraordinary compared to many jobs out there today. My point is this: we´re all pretty done-for as we head to unlock our front doors after a busy day at work, and though spending the next 5 to 10 minutes getting out of your smarts and into your training outfit may not be among the first things you want to do after hanging up your work bag, the payback can be amazing!

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Me, I like to run. It is something I picked up in High School and I guess, even though I’ve tried a lot of different sports, I’ve always reverted back to it by choice when I felt my body was going through a lengthy period without any form of training.

Now, I must say I’m pretty lucky. You see, I live in close proximity to large areas of forest and country gravel roads, so getting into an area where I’m more or less on my own is really easy. I wouldn´t say this is crucial to gain the most from a run, but I once took a jog around the city centre of Buenos Aires whilst there on a business trip, and I must say I found it hard to get into the training “zone” that enables us to reset our energy levels. To give you a feel for what I mean with the chosen word “reset” in the headline, I want to give you a short commentary from one of my favourite running routes.

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Starting out is as always hard—it takes the body some time to get warmed up for the task you’re demanding of it, and this time interval is different from person to person. For me, this is typically the first kilometre of tarmac road leading through our neighbourhood and down towards the path leading to the forest. One or two kilometres into the run, and I start feeling that my breathing is coming down, and the rhythm feels steady. Most importantly, I always start out easy to give my ligaments, tendons and joints a decent time period to warm up—especially if I´m running during the winter season.

I mentioned the training “zone”. This, to me, is a state of mind where I no longer think too much about the technique of running; avoiding rocks, cars, people out walking their dogs and so on. It’s as if I’ve gone into auto-drive mode. My mind then starts thinking more freely and meditatively. I’ve had the wildest ideas originate from these running sessions for sure, and it’s not unusual that I also sometimes lose my way if I’ve drifted into unfamiliar territory.

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So this “zone” constitutes nature’s way of allowing us to switch off momentarily and reset our energy levels. Could I compare it to what sleep does to us at night? Sure—I guess it shares some of the same benefits, but while we sleep, the body receives no exercise. I thoroughly believe it´s the combination of physical strain and allowing the mind to drift that leaves you with such a feeling of massive benefit and payoff. Not everyone reading this article knows this, but one of the reasons why we feel so good when we run, or do any other physical exercise for that matter, is the fact that the body produces its own anaesthetic called endorphins. This is our body´s way of smoothing over the discomfort and pain we might be feeling doing the physical work we impose upon it, and like the effects of a mild morphine, it makes you feel good.

A doctor I once knew told me that the body needs a good “revving”, as he would call it, once a day. What he meant was that the body needed to be physically challenged and brought up to peak performance ever so often. All the organs, including the brain, need a quick flow of blood to keep them working optimally and regenerating cells and tissue. He would indeed challenge me to make a point of running hard to catch the train in the morning, or push myself up a hill and keep my pace going over the top.

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Now, I mentioned payoff—As everyone´s experience to physical exercise seems to be different, there´s no way I could sum up an overall feeling for pushing your body up and out of the sofa, but I can say this: my monthly budget for sports-related gear constantly seems to be growing…

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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