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Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?

Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?
  • Honesty is the best policy
  • Where there is a will there is a way
  • Speak truthfully
  • A friend in need is a friend indeed
  • Love thy neighbour
  • Listed above are few of the many values that a child learns both at school and at home. Values define the character of a person, and a child must ideally implement these learning to sustain the force of this competitive world. These values are taught in order to help kids become better individuals overall, but often we find ourselves in a dilemma when we see that the values that we taught our children aren’t reflect in their character. Somehow, they forget these values in the course of their physical, social, and mental development, so we end up believing that something is incorrect in our teaching.

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    parenting mistakes

      Let’s have a look at where we are going wrong, and why our children may not able to stick to the values that we have taught them.

      Children learn from their parents

      Today, if we find a child misbehaving or not sticking to the basic childhood values, it’s possible that the reason behind such behaviour is their parents’ character and behaviour. I’m not saying that parents do not take care of their children—parents must be putting forth their best efforts to raise their child—but they forget that children learn from observing their parents. Parents’ behaviour and interaction with other family members teach a child a lot about this world. An immature child is unable to decide whether parents are right or not and will follow their examples, so our own behaviour needs to be worked upon before addressing the child’s issues.

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      The difference between doing, and saying

      Parents do try to teach their children the best of the values that can help them in building up their life, but they themselves fail to implement them in their own character. They say “Honesty is the Best Policy” and the very next moment, they themselves break this golden rule. When they themselves say one thing and do something else, how can they expect their children to learn what they teach?

      Everything learned needs revision and illustrations

      Imagine you have taught a value to your child and left it there itself: that gentle little child is not self-sufficient enough to grasp your teachings in a single go. Even a teenager who is going to take his exams needs to revise and recite his answers beforehand. So it is with a child: unless you keep reminding him of those values from time to time with the use of real-world happenings and scenarios, those values will easily evaporate. Constant reminders and illustrations are necessary to help the child stick to and implement these teachings in his own life. Somewhere, we fail to understand this fact and thus find our child in a difficult predicament.

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      Give examples instead of just lecturing

      Unless you explain the reasons behind teaching an attribute to your child, it will be difficult for him to grasp it completely. How can we convince him to follow something without putting ahead the reasons for which he should follow them? When we explain something to him, we often fail to explain to him the pros and cons of not following those values—the ifs and buts, the harm in not following something, and other such points must be kept transparent in front of the child. This may seem like common sense, but most people fail to realize its importance.

      We fail to devote time to our children

      Too often, we take more of a teaching than a parenting role with our children, and we fail to give them quality time. When was the last time when we spoke to our children about what’s going on with their school and friends? How many times a day do we show them our affection? We fail to give them our time, and thus they fail to stick to the values and principles taught by us. Our love and affection are vital in motivating them to follow what we say for their own good.

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      All parents need to think about these small—but very crucial—points in which we miss out on during the process of teaching our children. Once these points are taken care of, things will start changing in the right direction.

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    Last Updated on September 20, 2018

    How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

    How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

    Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

    If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

    1. Breathe

    The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

    • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
    • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
    • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

    Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

    2. Loosen up

    After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

    Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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    3. Chew slowly

    Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

    Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

    Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

    4. Let go

    Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

    The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

    It’s not. Promise.

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    Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

    Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

    21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

    5. Enjoy the journey

    Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

    Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

    6. Look at the big picture

    The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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    Will this matter to me…

    • Next week?
    • Next month?
    • Next year?
    • In 10 years?

    Hint: No, it won’t.

    I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

    Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

    7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

    You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

    Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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    8. Practice patience every day

    Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

    • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
    • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
    • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

    Final thoughts

    Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

    Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

    Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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