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Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?

Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?
  • Honesty is the best policy
  • Where there is a will there is a way
  • Speak truthfully
  • A friend in need is a friend indeed
  • Love thy neighbour
  • Listed above are few of the many values that a child learns both at school and at home. Values define the character of a person, and a child must ideally implement these learning to sustain the force of this competitive world. These values are taught in order to help kids become better individuals overall, but often we find ourselves in a dilemma when we see that the values that we taught our children aren’t reflect in their character. Somehow, they forget these values in the course of their physical, social, and mental development, so we end up believing that something is incorrect in our teaching.

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    parenting mistakes

      Let’s have a look at where we are going wrong, and why our children may not able to stick to the values that we have taught them.

      Children learn from their parents

      Today, if we find a child misbehaving or not sticking to the basic childhood values, it’s possible that the reason behind such behaviour is their parents’ character and behaviour. I’m not saying that parents do not take care of their children—parents must be putting forth their best efforts to raise their child—but they forget that children learn from observing their parents. Parents’ behaviour and interaction with other family members teach a child a lot about this world. An immature child is unable to decide whether parents are right or not and will follow their examples, so our own behaviour needs to be worked upon before addressing the child’s issues.

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      The difference between doing, and saying

      Parents do try to teach their children the best of the values that can help them in building up their life, but they themselves fail to implement them in their own character. They say “Honesty is the Best Policy” and the very next moment, they themselves break this golden rule. When they themselves say one thing and do something else, how can they expect their children to learn what they teach?

      Everything learned needs revision and illustrations

      Imagine you have taught a value to your child and left it there itself: that gentle little child is not self-sufficient enough to grasp your teachings in a single go. Even a teenager who is going to take his exams needs to revise and recite his answers beforehand. So it is with a child: unless you keep reminding him of those values from time to time with the use of real-world happenings and scenarios, those values will easily evaporate. Constant reminders and illustrations are necessary to help the child stick to and implement these teachings in his own life. Somewhere, we fail to understand this fact and thus find our child in a difficult predicament.

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      Give examples instead of just lecturing

      Unless you explain the reasons behind teaching an attribute to your child, it will be difficult for him to grasp it completely. How can we convince him to follow something without putting ahead the reasons for which he should follow them? When we explain something to him, we often fail to explain to him the pros and cons of not following those values—the ifs and buts, the harm in not following something, and other such points must be kept transparent in front of the child. This may seem like common sense, but most people fail to realize its importance.

      We fail to devote time to our children

      Too often, we take more of a teaching than a parenting role with our children, and we fail to give them quality time. When was the last time when we spoke to our children about what’s going on with their school and friends? How many times a day do we show them our affection? We fail to give them our time, and thus they fail to stick to the values and principles taught by us. Our love and affection are vital in motivating them to follow what we say for their own good.

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      All parents need to think about these small—but very crucial—points in which we miss out on during the process of teaching our children. Once these points are taken care of, things will start changing in the right direction.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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