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Life Lessons from a Memorial

Life Lessons from a Memorial

When you attend a memorial do you take the opportunity to learn from a family member’s, friend’s, or even a stranger’s passing?

Recently I attended a memorial for a man I’d never met. He was the husband of a co-worker of my husband; neither of us had met him but we wanted to be there to support her through this rough time.

I am no stranger to funerals or memorials: I’ve been to many to celebrate the life of someone who passed, including my own Mother’s passing 13 years ago. Via this event and others I’ve found many life lessons work learning.

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Life Lesson #1: If your “stuff” is causing you stress, clean house!

News of this man’s passing came on a day when we were preparing for a garage sale. I was overwhelmed by all the stuff in the garage, which looked as though an explosion had happened inside it, and I felt my husband wasn’t spending his time wisely as he built shelving in rather than get sale items ready.

When I saw the email about this man’s death—and the memorial arrangements for a man who was only 49, had two kids and a wonderful wife—it brought clear focus into was really important. I apologized to my husband and told him if our “stuff”  was causing stress and unhappiness we needed to get rid of more of it (ruthlessly).

What to do: Is your stuff causing stress in your life? If so, it’s time to clean house. This will allow you to focus on what is truly important by getting rid of the stuff that you really don’t need.

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Life Lesson #2: Make Time for Major Life Events

The memorial was scheduled for the day that we were actually to participate in that neighborhood garage sale. We had been looking forward to this for a year and had a lot of stuff to let go, but there was no question that we were going to the memorial and not participating in the sale. The passing of someone brings into sharp clarity that our relationships with others is ultimately what is most important.

When my mother passed, I was grateful for the many people who came to the funeral, sent cards, flowers, food and were there for us. My father said that the event had showed him how important it was to make it to birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and funerals himself. He resolved to attend more of these events in the future.

What to do: Have you attended important events from family and friends, or do you find life getting in the way? Make these events a priority in your life.

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Life Lesson #3: Learn from Another’s Life

While I never met this man, I was very touched by his memorial and the love that poured out from so many during the event. He was a man who built deep and lasting friendships, who gave much of himself and loved to travel off the beaten path. I am sure he had no regrets and had a very loving tribe around him.

What to do: What do you most admire when you take a moment to appreciate the lives of those you have lost? Take a moment to write down 3 things about each person you’ve lost.

Life Lesson #4: Take Time to Re-assess

Events like this make you stop and reassess your life. Are your priorities in the right place? At the time of our passing no-one is going to care what kind of car we drove, how much money we made, or how many extra hours we put in. What matters is the friendships and family we have, how we chose to help others, and the type of person we were. I certainly stopped to re-asess if my priorities were in line. Thankfully they are close. I still have areas that I struggle with and I find it beneficial to look at how I am spending my time occasionally to be sure it is spent where is most valuable to me.

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Ultimately, attending someone’s memorial makes us appreciate life even more. We are all gifted with a finite number hours in this lifetime, and I hope to use mine as wisely as this man did.

What to do: What would you like to be remembered by? Make a list of 5 things you want others to remember when they attend your memorial. Now look at the list you wrote for life lesson #3. Would you like to be remembered for some of those things? If so, add them to your list. Are you living your life in such a way that you will be remembered for the items of your list? If not how can you adjust your priorities and the way you spend your time?

The time is now to start living the life you want to be remembered for.

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

8 Benefits of a Minimalist Lifestyle That Get You to Live With Less

8 Benefits of a Minimalist Lifestyle That Get You to Live With Less

Minimalism is a way to put a stop to the gluttony of the world around us. It’s the opposite of every advertisement we see plastered on the radio and TV. We live in a society that prides itself on the accumulation of stuff; we eat up consumerism, material possessions, clutter, debt, distractions and noise.

What we don’t seem to have is any meaning left in our world.

By adopting a minimalist lifestyle, you can throw out what you don’t need in order to focus on what you do need.

I know first hand how little we actually need to survive. I was fortunate enough to live in a van for four months while traveling throughout Australia. This experience taught me valuable lessons about what really matters and how little we really need all this stuff we surround ourselves with.

Less is more.

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Living a minimalist lifestyle is reducing.There are a few obvious benefits of minimalism such as less cleaning and stress, a more organized household and more money to be found, but there are also a few deep, life-changing benefits.

What we don’t usually realize is that when we reduce, we reduce a lot more than just stuff.

Consider just some of the benefits of living with fewer possessions:

1. Create Room for What’s Important

When we purge our junk drawers and closets we create space and peace. We lose that claustrophobic feeling and we can actually breathe again. Create the room to fill up our lives with meaning instead of stuff.

2. More Freedom

The accumulation of stuff is like an anchor, it ties us down. We are always terrified of losing all our ‘stuff’. Let it go and you will experience a freedom like never before: a freedom from greed, debt, obsession and overworking.

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3. Focus on Health and Hobbies

When you spend less time at Home Depot trying unsuccessfully to keep up with the Joneses, you create an opening to do the things you love, things that you never seem to have time for.

Everyone is always saying they don’t have enough time, but how many people really stop and look at what they are spending their time doing?

You could be enjoying a day with your kids, hitting up the gym, practicing yoga, reading a good book or traveling. Whatever it is that you love you could be doing, but instead you are stuck at Sears shopping for more stuff.

4. Less Focus on Material Possessions

All the stuff we surround ourselves with is merely a distraction, we are filling a void. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy comfort. After the initial comfort is satisfied, that’s where our obsession with money should end.

We are bombarded by the media presenting promises of happiness through materialistic measures. It’s no wonder we struggle everyday. Resist those urges. It’s an empty path, it won’t make you happy.

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It’s hard not to get roped into the consumerism trap. I need constant reminders that it’s a false sense of happiness. I enjoy stuff, but I also recognize that I don’t need it.

5. More Peace of Mind

When we cling onto material possessions we create stress because we are always afraid of losing these things. By simplifying your life you can lose your attachment to these things and ultimately create a calm, peaceful mind.

The less things you have to worry about, the more peace you have, and it’s as simple as that.

6. More Happiness

When de-cluttering your life, happiness naturally comes because you gravitate towards the things that matter most. You see clearly the false promises in all the clutter, it’s like a broken shield against life’s true essence.

You will also find happiness in being more efficient, you will find concentration by having refocused your priorities, you will find joy by enjoying slowing down.

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7. Less Fear of Failure

When you look at Buddhist monks, they have no fear, and they have no fear because they don’t have anything to lose.

In whatever you wish to pursue doing you can excel, if you aren’t plagued with the fear of losing all your worldly possessions. Obviously you need to take the appropriate steps to put a roof over your head, but also know that you have little to fear except fear itself.

8. More Confidence

The entire minimalist lifestyle promotes individuality and self reliance. This will make you more confident in your pursuit of happiness.

What’s Next? Go Minimalism.

If you’re ready to start living a minimalist lifestyle, these articles can help you to kickstart:

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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