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Leaving the McMansion for the Small Life

Leaving the McMansion for the Small Life
Small House

    Natives to pastoral areas know what it looks like. What was once a pasture with cows now looks like a small village — only the homes are anything but small. These McMansions are often well over 4,000 square feet large with plenty of luxury amenities for the average sized family. Interestingly, these mega-homes may not be all the rage in our future suburban landscapes.

    The Star Ledger, one of New Jersey’s leading papers, is reporting an emerging trend away from the huge-home-mindset and towards luxury apartment living. It turns out that life matters; when you have a huge home that requires lots of maintenance, some of the other important things in life can take a back seat. These might include: spending time with your spouse, your kids or investing in friendships that will last far longer than a house. The larger the home, the more it takes to keep it running in terms of financial resources and time spent keeping things up. One starts to wonder, “Do I own my house or does it own me?” This may be why more and more people are opting for small.

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    The other aspect of smaller living is the reality that small might actually add to your quality of life. I realize that a large family does require more space but for the rest of us, small just might do. Here are some benefits to owning a smaller home:

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    • Less space forces you to make decisions more often. When you don’t have a walk-in closet, there’s very little space for procrastination. Rather than hide clothes in a pile in the large closet, your small storage spaces challenge you to make a decision: put it away, do the laundry, fold it, etc.
    • Less space allows you to know what you have. When you can see what you have, you’re less likely to buy something that you already have.
    • Less space promotes family communication. Living in closer proximity to your loved ones means that you’ll see them more often and share little interactions that a larger home might not afford.
    • Less space allows for simpler decorating. Since more “stuff” around the house makes it feel smaller, a streamlined home encourages simpler style. Avoid small items, breakables and tiny collectibles and opt for items which will last, are durable and are stylish in their own right.
    • Smaller spaces encourage contemplative living. I know — this is a bit of a stretch but my home (which I consider to be on the smaller side) is something which I know, inside and out. I know every corner of it, all of its idiosyncrasies and finer points. My kids and I also get to work around the house together which is great for family bonding. Whenever you get to appreciate and know something well, a spirit of contemplation gradually grows.

    Living in a larger home is not something to scorn but opting to live in a smaller home certainly makes a statement. It teaches you to appreciate space, possessions and challenges you to make-do with what you have. Would you like to have more space? Probably. Can you grow in simplicity by living in a smaller space? Definitely.

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    Last Updated on February 15, 2019

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

    And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

    Why is goal setting important?

    1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

    Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

    For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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    Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

    After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

    So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

    2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

    The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

    The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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    We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

    What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

    3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

    We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

    Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

    But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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    What you truly want and need

    Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

    Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

    Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

    When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

    Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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    Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

    Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

    Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

    The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

    It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

    Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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