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How To Travel Like A Local

How To Travel Like A Local

There are two options when traveling:

1) Go to all of the tourist places, and

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2) Live like the locals.

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Each has its own pros and cons but the local lifestyle may give you that vacation you have always desired. Let’s break it down to see what each option has to offer.

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1. The tourist.

  • You have to see every monument, museum, and park. If it’s marked on a map, you will be there. You are also first in line to get a ticket for the double-decker sightseeing bus.
  • Your schedule is jam packed from sunrise to sunset. You have left yourself just enough time to have dinner at one of the tourist traps on the main drag.
  • You are just seeing the sights but not fully taking it in. You are secretly thinking to yourself, “If I see another museum…” or, “I have to be enjoying this right; it is the Mona Lisa.”

2. Travel like the locals live.

  • Wake up and start your morning off with an espresso at the local café on the side street. Sit back, relax, and enjoy people watching. Take in all of the sights and see what everyone is doing. You never know, you may end up with the best tips on places to go visit and restaurants to eat at.
  • Find an interesting place to visit – a museum, a nearby town – or ask a local to recommend a place that you will enjoy. The key here is a place not an infinitely long list of places that you must check off your list and just see. Find places that you will truly enjoy. Do you love gardens? Try spending the afternoon at your destination’s botanical gardens.
  • Explore. Go outside and get lost in the city. Take your map and put it in your bag. Find an area to visit and see what you happen to stumble upon. It may be the most beautiful thing that you have ever seen in your life. Maybe that trail leads to an overlook of the ocean that no one has ever captured photographs of before.
  • Leave your watch and schedule behind. This is vacation, right? Do what interests you and what attracts your attention.
  • Get out of your comfort zone. I guarantee that it will be worth it. Go to the restaurant that looks like a dive – the food may be worth a Michelin star! Climb to the top of the cliff even if you are somewhat scared of heights. Find the diamond in the rough and you will be ecstatic that you did. It will make your trip memorable and will be the event or thing you talk about to everyone that you see.

Traveling like you are a local in town is my favorite way to travel. You get to enjoy the best parts of the city that you actually want to see. You can explore and find the hidden gems that other tourists never even know of, and my bet is that some of the locals may not know about either. Enjoy that two-hour dinner out on the patio with a bottle of wine and great company without looking at your smartphone or your watch.

The key here is to fully enjoy your vacation doing the things that you want to do and not have to do. You will remember saying, “I loved watching that sunset over the Atlantic Ocean.” But if you are rushing around traveling like a tourist, you will be left saying, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

So, how are you going to travel on your next vacation?

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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