Advertising
Advertising

How to Get Your Husband (or Wife) to Help Out More

How to Get Your Husband (or Wife) to Help Out More

    Parenting can be a full on job. If you’re a single parent you know this well. Beyond work, there are many details to take care of: cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, disciplining, etc. Many moms I coach tell me they feel overwhelmed and when I dig deeper I find that one of the reasons they feel this way is because they’re doing a lot on their own.

    One mom I coach has three children and works three mornings a week. She is also responsible for all the housework. She told me her husband says that his job is stressful and that he needs the evenings to relax… But “she’s tired too!” she told me.

    Advertising

    Bringing up small children takes time, patience and consistency. Without support, it can be tiring. Moms who cope all day long on their own can struggle to manage the situation. Then Dad comes home in the evening to a stressed-out wife who may be full of resentment at the load she’s carried all day.

    In some cases dads will respond by withdrawing from family life and responsibilities. In other cases dads would happily support their wife but find that their wife doesn’t “allow” them to do anything. One dad told me, “she thinks she can do it better than me so she just does it by herself.”

    Many moms have this curse of martyrdom. They rush around doing everything to the point of exhaustion and resent every last minute.

    Advertising

    What is the best way for parents to support each other so that everyone is sharing the load and truly acting like a family “team”?

    Here are a few ideas to try. See which one fits your situation or feels most comfortable to you.

    1. Simply ask for help

    Tell your husband or wife that you would like to have a chat about something. Be sure they agree on when. Is now a good time? If not, when? Then share your feelings as briefly as possible. For example:

    Advertising

    “I am really feeling overwhelmed. I feel that if we shared some of the jobs I would feel better and would be able to have some much needed down time with myself as well as with you.”

    2. Be sure to have a set routine in place

    From the time you and/or your husband gets home from work to the time your kids go to bed, make sure your family consistently follows the same routine every night so that either you share the load together or you take turns looking after things.

    3. Cut back on expenses enough to hire a cleaner

    They can come once a week, twice a month or just once a month. Any version will help out in a major way – I know this one to be very true!!!

    Advertising

    4. Say, “thank you”

    Thank your husband or wife when you feel relieved by their help. A quick text, flowers, note, hug, kiss or “Thank you” is not difficult to do. Just watch how that little token of appreciation makes your partner step up and be more consistent with their help.

    More by this author

    8 Reasons Why Children Misbehave (With Solutions!) 5 Ways to Spend Time with Your Kids When You Have No Time The Top 10 Things Children Really Want Their Parents To Do With Them 2 Simple Ways to Be a Happy Parent The One Thing That MUST Be on Your Holiday To Do List

    Trending in Lifestyle

    1 How Setting Small Daily Goals Makes You Achieve Big Success 2 The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight 3 Why Am I Exhausted? The Real Causes and How to Fix It Forever 4 60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days 5 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on October 17, 2018

    How Setting Small Daily Goals Makes You Achieve Big Success

    How Setting Small Daily Goals Makes You Achieve Big Success

    Successful people “think” success all the time. That is why their goals are firmly lodged in their subconscious.

    While most believe that having a long-term goal is crucial to success, successful people understand that without small, daily goals, you will get demotivated easily; success will in turn become hard.

    In this article, we will look into the importance of setting daily goals and how to having daily goals that help you achieve success.

    How to “think” success with your subconscious

    The subconscious is brilliant at prioritizing. It listens to you and gauges from your thoughts what you think is the most important task. This means that what you think about most of the time is what the subconscious will think is the most important thing for you, and will try to find creative solutions.

    If you think about problems, the subconscious will try to find you more problems. If you think about solutions, goals and dreams, it will try to make them come true.

    Advertising

    But the subconscious goes even further when trying to understand what you think is important; it “listens” to your feelings.

    Luckily, it has been proven that a positive thought is over 100 times as positive as a negative thought. This makes it a lot easier to drive positive emotions into your subconscious.

    How daily goals keep you positive

    It is enough to be positive and keep your thoughts on what you want — and you don’t have to go monitoring your thoughts all the time.

    It is enough to imbue your thoughts a few times a day with a powerful positive emotion when thinking about your goals. The more you can do it, the more powerful this exercise will be.

    For many, reading their goals or making plans become a chore, something that fills them with negative emotions. This ruins the full potential of these activities; filling yourself with positive emotions while thinking about your goals will make them a lot more powerful.

    Advertising

    Over the last several years, I have been taught several exercises that can help you focus more on your goals and spend more time thinking about and feeling about them. What I want you to remember when doing these exercises is to have fun. Never see them as a chore, you are living your goals, it is something to enjoy.

    If you don’t feel uplifted at the thought of focusing on your goals, you might as well not do the exercise today. Do it tomorrow instead because it will do more harm than good if you are in the wrong mood when thinking about your goals.

    Why positive thoughts inspire you ideas

    In my business, I constantly need to come up with new ways to improve efficiency, new ideas to test and new subjects to teach. It takes a lot of creative work — and creative work has always been one of my weaker areas.

    Luckily, thanks to all my work with goal setting (and because of my focus on my goals), my subconscious knows these are the things I need the most help with and that they are very important to me.

    Every day I get new ideas of things I can try out, products I can create, seminar subjects I can offer, and so on.  All of them aren’t good but when you throw enough “mud against the wall”, something will stick. And that is what my subconscious does — it feeds me idea after idea.

    Advertising

    How to set daily goals for yourself

    This method is used by countless thousands around the world and for everyone who has tried it, the effects have been incredible:

    1. Each morning, take a pen and a piece of paper and write down your 10 top goals. Don’t look at the day before, just think about what you want to most and write them down.
    2. Remember to write them in the positive present tense and remember to set a deadline for each goal. Just like we did when setting your long term and short term goals. (For example you could set the goal “I make 10,000 dollars per month by the December 31 next year.”)
    3. Do this for all 10 goals.

    In the beginning, writing down 10 goals might be difficult. Each day, they might look a bit different and some of the goals you write never come back again.

    If you forget a goal, it is because it wasn’t all that important and something more important has taken its place.

    What difference does it make?

    By starting your day setting your 10 top goals, you jump-start your creativity — which will motivate you for the rest of the day. You will have programmed yourself to focus on your goals and to move towards them and their completion.

    Advertising

    What will happen to you?

    If you do this, you will start to realize what is important to you. You’ll see what goals keep surfacing and what goals vanish.

    You will know what you want and you will find yourself presented with opportunities that you haven’t noticed before.

    You will be more creative in finding ideas and chances to make your dreams reality.

    The bottom line

    Having goals on a daily basis can change your life for the better. It will help you keep moving faster and faster towards your goals and dreams.

    So now set your goals and make having daily goals your good habit:

    1. Buy a notebook and a pen at your local bookstore.
    2. Start writing down 10 goals every morning, without looking at the day before.
    3. Take advantage of the opportunities that come your way and capitalize on them.
    What’s next after setting your goals? While your routine is the key to achieving your goals, you can take these 6 simple steps to make progress towards achieving goals.

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

    Read Next