Advertising
Advertising

How to find YOUR Valentine for Next Year!

How to find YOUR Valentine for Next Year!

swanlove1

    Valentine’s day is here again. And are you still single? Do you want to attract a dream relationship?

    Well, make 2009 the year you do just that! You still have almost 11 months left to make sure that at least you spend next Christmas with THE one.

    If you are single, then you are not the only one as there are estimated to be over 2 million single people in London alone. And that’s a lot of potential dating material.

    Everyone dreams of that ideal relationship – one that is full of love and affection. A relationship with someone that you connect with mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. We all want to meet our “soul mate”.

    Advertising

    Internet dating, speed dating and dating agencies are all very popular nowadays. But just how does one find that ideal relationship?

    The key is not to become fixated about getting into a relationship. Focus instead on getting the life you love and living it. The kind of life that excites you so much that you jump out of bed every morning. Once you are in such a clearing, your dream partner can simply walk in and join you.

    Remember that a dream relationship should be the icing on the cake that is your life, and not the end all and be all of your life.

    To create your ideal life, ask your self what it is going to be about. What do you want to do for a living and what do you want to contribute to the world? Where do you want to live and how much money do you want to make? The key is to make your self truly happy right now and also to remain happy regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.

    This is not to say that you do not go in for things like speed dating or networking events. Just treat these as fun and social events. The trick with making the most of these events is to focus on your best points and be proud of that. For example, you may have a great smile and so show it off.

    Advertising

    To make an impact with your speed dating partner, ask unusual or even outrageous questions such as – what turns you on the most about a person of the opposite sex? This is sure to make an impression rather than the usual questions such as what do you do, and where do you come from. Also, listen to the other person – we have two ears and one mouth – so listen at least twice as much as you talk.

    Finally it is okay to be rejected when asking someone out on a date. It is only their opinion and their choice. And with all dating related events, have no attachment to the outcome and have fun. Otherwise why would you even do it?

    As for creating a clearing in your life for that dream person to walk in, here are some tips:

    1. Be complete with past relationships. Drop the baggage from the past. Let go of hurts and resentments towards anyone from your past. Forgive and reconcile with that ex-partner who was so mean to you. The true test is to meet such a person from your past and to not feel any negative thoughts.

    2. Take stock of how you have behaved in previous relationships. Since you are single, by definition your past relationships have not worked out for whatever reason. And like it or not, that makes you at least 50% responsible for them not working out.

    Advertising

    Get clarity on what you contributed to those relationships not working out. Be kind to yourself as you do this. Do not make it an excuse to beat your self up all over again.

    3. Review your beliefs about relationships. What do you think should happen at different stages – from courtship to living together? What are your entrenched beliefs about the opposite sex? For example, from your cultural heritage, what are the expected roles and duties of a partner?

    4. Get clear about what you want in a relationship. Make the fulfilment of your short term and long term needs the criteria for choosing a partner.

    5. Define and get clear about what you want in your ideal relationship and partner. Be realistic, and ask what your needs are rather than your wants. What must your relationship have? What are the absolute essentials for you to thrive?

    6. Socialise and have fun so as to create a varied, rich life and to be part of a healthy supportive community, and to enhance your life. You will therefore focus not so much on meeting your partner and more on creating a rich vibrant life, one which will be so attractive to a potentially dream catch.

    Advertising

    Most people usually socialise in various ways in order to meet their dream partner, but simply by having fun and enjoying your life you become so much more attractive.

    Make your life work and create room in your life for your ideal partner. Once you have your life working for you, and you are happy, you will indeed attract the right partner.

    Remember, you deserve the best. And that includes a dream relationship and the ideal partner. Don’t accept second best.

    Get clear about what you want in your life partner and why – and you can have it all.

    Get the life you love and live it.

    More by this author

    29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day How to Do Good AND Make a Profit 9/11 Anniversary: Time to Bring Peace into Your Life Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Lover every Day of the Year! How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

    Trending in Lifestyle

    1 The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want 2 Becoming Self-Taught (The How-To Guide) 3 5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life 4 How to Learn Yoga (The Beginner’s Guide) 5 How to Sleep Through the Night and Get Good Rest

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

      Advertising

      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

      Advertising

      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

      Advertising

      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

      Advertising

      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

      Read Next