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How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

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    Are you single?

    Around Valentine’s Day, many single people are often left feeling inadequate and missing out due to the fervent commercialisation all around them.

    It is almost as if you are incomplete or there is something wrong with you, if you are single. The pressure to be out celebrating with someone special can be immense – I am sure some couples probably just go out together just for the sake of it :-)

    So if you are single, how about just doing some thing special just for yourself on that day? And then do the same every day of your life.

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    Are you blissfully single? Or have you put your life on hold until you are in that “magical” relationship?

    There are nowadays more single people than ever before, with a lot of them striving to get into a relationship. But just how do you lead a happy life as a single person?

    Many single people wait until they are in a relationship to live the kind of life they want and do the things they love to do. If you choose to be single or if you are in between relationships, rather than getting hung up over not being with someone, focus on what you have right now and on creating a terrific single life.

    Ask yourself what your life is going to be about. What do you want to do for a living and what do you want to contribute to the world? Where do you want to live and how much money do you want to make? The key is to make your self truly happy right now and to remain happy, single or with a partner.

    Some single people throw themselves in their business or job, and forgo pleasure time and self-care. It is as if their accomplishments are the only things that matter.

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    Remember that your life is happening today and is not a dress rehearsal for the day you are in a relationship.

    Here are some tips for creating a truly happy life as a single person and to prepare yourself for a future happy relationship:-

    1. Be passionate about your life. Have a vision for your life and live by it every day. Have a purpose for getting out of bed every morning. What activity energises you? What makes time stop for you?

    Your purpose is your own, whether you are single or with a partner, and you will be your happiest when fully living your life purpose. Having a partner is not a substitute for a meaningful life.

    2. Build a community. Socialise and have fun. Join clubs around your favourite topics and volunteer your time and energy. Reach out to people already in your life and strengthen your communal ties. You will be creating a varied rich life, and you will have people in your life who care about you and your life, meeting many of your needs. This will in turn make you les needy and thereby more attractive.

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    3. Pamper and treat yourself everyday with something luxurious and pleasurable. This can be as simple as a ten minute walk, a drink at the local coffee shop, a body lotion that smells good, a tub of chocolate ice cream to have in the bath and so on. Remember that such treats are not just reserved for a partner to give you as gifts. Create a life full of such delicious moments and your whole outlook will improve.

    4. Start doing the things that you have been putting off. Find one fun thing to do every week which you had put off doing till you had a partner, and then start crossing them off your list. And one day you can also do them again with your partner.

    5. Put the past in the past. Be complete with past relationships and dump any baggage. Stop hanging on to unhappy moments from the past as a reminder to prevent the same thing happening again in the future. Let go of hurts and resentments towards anyone – forgive that ex-partner who was so mean to you.

    6. Take stock of how you have behaved in previous relationships. Get clarity on what you contributed to past relationships not working out. Be kind to yourself as you do this and do not make it an excuse to beat your self up all over again.

    7. Improve your relationship skills. Read all you can around this topic. Check out relationship workshops and seminars. Dating events are so in vogue at the moment. Go and have some fun – try out speed dating.

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    Just because you may have been single for a while does not mean that you will not have a successful life long relationship – learn and apply new skills.

    8. Appreciate and value what goodness you already have in your life right now. Being single actually gives you true freedom and independence to do just what you desire with your time and resources, and you can choose who to do it with. The world is indeed your oyster.

    And always remember – you can choose to be happy, with or without a partner.

    Most importantly, remember what really matters all year around and not just on Valentine’s Day – Love.

    More by this author

    29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day How to Do Good AND Make a Profit 9/11 Anniversary: Time to Bring Peace into Your Life Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Lover every Day of the Year! How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

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    Last Updated on September 16, 2019

    How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

    How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

    You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

    We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

    The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

    Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

    1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

    Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

    For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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    • (1) Research
    • (2) Deciding the topic
    • (3) Creating the outline
    • (4) Drafting the content
    • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
    • (6) Revision
    • (7) etc.

    Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

    2. Change Your Environment

    Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

    One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

    3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

    Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

    Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

    My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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    Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

    4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

    If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

    Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

    I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

    5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

    I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

    Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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    As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

    6. Get a Buddy

    Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

    I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

    7. Tell Others About Your Goals

    This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

    For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

    8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

    What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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    9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

    If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

    Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

    10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

    Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

    Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

    11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

    At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

    Reality check:

    I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

    More About Procrastination

    Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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