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How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

How to Enjoy Life as a Single Person on Valentine’s Day!

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    Are you single?

    Around Valentine’s Day, many single people are often left feeling inadequate and missing out due to the fervent commercialisation all around them.

    It is almost as if you are incomplete or there is something wrong with you, if you are single. The pressure to be out celebrating with someone special can be immense – I am sure some couples probably just go out together just for the sake of it :-)

    So if you are single, how about just doing some thing special just for yourself on that day? And then do the same every day of your life.

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    Are you blissfully single? Or have you put your life on hold until you are in that “magical” relationship?

    There are nowadays more single people than ever before, with a lot of them striving to get into a relationship. But just how do you lead a happy life as a single person?

    Many single people wait until they are in a relationship to live the kind of life they want and do the things they love to do. If you choose to be single or if you are in between relationships, rather than getting hung up over not being with someone, focus on what you have right now and on creating a terrific single life.

    Ask yourself what your life is going to be about. What do you want to do for a living and what do you want to contribute to the world? Where do you want to live and how much money do you want to make? The key is to make your self truly happy right now and to remain happy, single or with a partner.

    Some single people throw themselves in their business or job, and forgo pleasure time and self-care. It is as if their accomplishments are the only things that matter.

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    Remember that your life is happening today and is not a dress rehearsal for the day you are in a relationship.

    Here are some tips for creating a truly happy life as a single person and to prepare yourself for a future happy relationship:-

    1. Be passionate about your life. Have a vision for your life and live by it every day. Have a purpose for getting out of bed every morning. What activity energises you? What makes time stop for you?

    Your purpose is your own, whether you are single or with a partner, and you will be your happiest when fully living your life purpose. Having a partner is not a substitute for a meaningful life.

    2. Build a community. Socialise and have fun. Join clubs around your favourite topics and volunteer your time and energy. Reach out to people already in your life and strengthen your communal ties. You will be creating a varied rich life, and you will have people in your life who care about you and your life, meeting many of your needs. This will in turn make you les needy and thereby more attractive.

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    3. Pamper and treat yourself everyday with something luxurious and pleasurable. This can be as simple as a ten minute walk, a drink at the local coffee shop, a body lotion that smells good, a tub of chocolate ice cream to have in the bath and so on. Remember that such treats are not just reserved for a partner to give you as gifts. Create a life full of such delicious moments and your whole outlook will improve.

    4. Start doing the things that you have been putting off. Find one fun thing to do every week which you had put off doing till you had a partner, and then start crossing them off your list. And one day you can also do them again with your partner.

    5. Put the past in the past. Be complete with past relationships and dump any baggage. Stop hanging on to unhappy moments from the past as a reminder to prevent the same thing happening again in the future. Let go of hurts and resentments towards anyone – forgive that ex-partner who was so mean to you.

    6. Take stock of how you have behaved in previous relationships. Get clarity on what you contributed to past relationships not working out. Be kind to yourself as you do this and do not make it an excuse to beat your self up all over again.

    7. Improve your relationship skills. Read all you can around this topic. Check out relationship workshops and seminars. Dating events are so in vogue at the moment. Go and have some fun – try out speed dating.

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    Just because you may have been single for a while does not mean that you will not have a successful life long relationship – learn and apply new skills.

    8. Appreciate and value what goodness you already have in your life right now. Being single actually gives you true freedom and independence to do just what you desire with your time and resources, and you can choose who to do it with. The world is indeed your oyster.

    And always remember – you can choose to be happy, with or without a partner.

    Most importantly, remember what really matters all year around and not just on Valentine’s Day – Love.

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    Last Updated on January 3, 2020

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

    The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

    1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

    Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

     I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

    To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

    And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

     2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

    Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

    3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

    Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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    4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

    The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

    5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

    Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

    6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

    Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

    7. Positive people smile a lot!

    When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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    8. People who are positive are great communicators.

    They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

    9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

    One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

    10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

    Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

    How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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    I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

    Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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