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Plugged In…Stressed Out: How to Decompress in a Wired World

Plugged In…Stressed Out: How to Decompress in a Wired World

Emails. Texts. Tweets. Facebook posts. LinkedIn connections. Pinterest. IPhones. IPods. IPads. No time to chat? Tweet it or text it. With one keystroke, we can be anywhere, do anything, and connect with anyone. But is it costing us?

Current research suggests that techno geeks and screen addicts all over the globe are spending about 18 hours per week tethered to networking devices; a drastic rise since 2000 when a mere 2.7 hours a week was reportedly spent. Studies also show that the constant stimulation of a mind always in motion changes how the brain processes information.

The multitasking ability that technology has afforded us has blurred the boundaries between work, leisure, relationships, and real life. Technology has promised to maximize our time with the advent of iPhones synced to our computers and tablets we can carry on the go, but the real question is…What are we making more time for?

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Technology is a wonderful thing, but if you’re finding yourself stressed out, overwhelmed or addicted to always being “plugged in” here is a prescription for getting back in the real game of life:

Start noticing

Have a get real with yourself talk. No one has to tell you if you’re spending too much time “plugged in”—- you know. Notice how sitting at the computer for hours makes you feel physically. Scan your body for tension and stress. Sitting for hours a day at a computer can make your muscles feel achy. That may be a signal you need to get up and start moving.

Put your smartphone to bed without you

Swedish researchers found that using electronic devices too much before bedtime can make it hard to wind down and sleep. There were also links to stress overload depression and insomnia in the study. If you want a good night’s sleep, take a break, from your computer and mobile devices.

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Get down and dirty

Get outside. Breathe the fresh air. Get into the woods. Spend some conscious dedicated time to playing outdoors. And leave your cell phone home! Most of us spend so much time hooked up behind a desk, we’re spending less and less time in the sunshine and fresh air; thus the epidemic vitamin D deficiency we’re seeing in U.S. adults.

Get naked

If you’re a walker, runner, hiker, or biker, make a point to shed your electronic devices so that you can actually focus on nature. That’s right, no iPod, and no iPhone. If you’re outside, spend time really enjoying nature. Soak in the sights around you. Take time to let you’re your mind decompress and be still. Give yourself time to think.

Connect with someone real

We were made for relationships—real ones. Many screen addicts’ live virtual lives with people they don’t really know, or they create virtual worlds they think will satisfy only to feel more estranged and lonely. Try ditching your virtual life for the real thing. Have a conversation. Laugh. Cry. Be real. It’s great medicine for the soul.

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Take five

Start by taking five minutes a day to reduce stress. Get up. Get out, and get moving. If you’re at work, take your coffee outside and walk on your break. Sit outside on your lunch hour. Schedule vacation time away and be intentional about it. Plan some long weekends to get away and leave your computer at home. Be intentional about taking breaks from your electronic devices.

We all know the Leave It to Beaver life of the 1950’s is gone forever, but isn’t it nice to remember the days when you could walk across the street, drop in on your neighbor without calling or texting and have a cup of coffee and chat?

Technology has promised us more time, but has it delivered? Or has it drawn us deeper and deeper into the bottomless abyss of cyberspace where more time means more time to devote to machines instead of people?

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Most of us would agree the benefits of technology have been astounding, but even too much of a good thing can be risky business. Start today, commit to unplug and unwind.

Back at you: Has the cyberspace world we live in created more or less stress in your life? What are you doing to decompress and unplug?

Featured photo credit:  Pretty young woman standing against sky via Shutterstock

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Rita Schulte LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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