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How to be Happy, Today, Tomorrow and for the Rest of your Life

How to be Happy, Today, Tomorrow and for the Rest of your Life

Happiness has become the latest fad. Since the Lehman brothers made their mess, we have changed. Mankind has seen the light and it comes in the form of inner bliss rather than external kicks.

We seem to finally realized that not only does money not guarantee happiness, it no longer guarantees security or position. Everything is volatile. Fighting is not an option, the only thing to do is surrender. Surrender the past life to the in vogue search for happiness.

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“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” Aristotle

What do the Experts say? How to be happy?

Paul McKenna, Hypnotist and author of “I Can Make you Happy”

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Smiling can make you happy even when you don’t feel like it. In his book “I Can Make you Happy” he says whenever you smile you release serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good. McKenna also a NLP expert says that the more we repeat a thought or action and create repetition, this creates a neural pathway in the brain. The more we repeat it, the stronger the pathway becomes. Once we form the habit it’s then regulated by the unconscious mind. So what McKenna is saying is that we can create the Habit of Happiness without actually being happy.

Brian Colbert, Mind Coach and author of The Happiness Habit

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Colbert confirms McKenna’s views that Happiness can be created as a habit by training your brain to replace constant self criticism and depreciation with more useful ways of thinking. Colbert advocates replacing negative self talk with positive nurturing talk. It’s essential to become aware of how we speak to ourselves and ensure it is positive and constructive.

Martin Seligman, Positive Psychologist and author of “Learned Optimism”

Seligman also promotes the use of positive interior dialog which he says can positively impact depression, boost your immune system, develop your potential and make you happier. Human beings are generally optimists or pessimists, some of us were lucky to be born the former and the later type must work harder at being positive and optimistic. You will easily recognize a pessimist; when you get excited about something and they stomp on your dreams they will tell you they are just being realistic!! Whichever sort you are naturally it’s important to watch out for that inner dialog.

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche Buddhist Monk and author of The Joy of Living

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Buddhism is perhaps the closest we have come to cracking the secret of happiness. In his book The Joy of Living, Rinpoche describes Buddhism as a way of doing things that fosters serenity, happiness and confidence and avoids things that provoke anxiety, hopelessness and fear. The essence of the Buddhist practice is not so much an effort at changing your thoughts or your behavior so that you can become a better person, but in realizing that no matter what you might think about the circumstances that define life, you are already good whole and complete.

If most happiness experts tell us that happiness is not something we can seek externally, then we must accept it comes from within, it comes from the acceptance that there is no search, that happiness is yours for the taking, all you have to do is accept that it’s yours and the present moment is all that you have.

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul
Democritus

Featured photo credit:  Smiling teenage girl reading a book via Shutterstock

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Ciara Conlon

Productivity coach, speaker, blogger and author of Chaos to Control, a Practical Guide to Getting Things Done

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

Reference

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